Dawsey: Starting a Family Part 1

Matt's Thoughts

While driving to the firehouse, I saw Gabby looking out the window. And when they say that pregnant women glow, for some reason...I could see it. Or maybe it was just me enjoying the sight of my wife looking so happy and beautiful while I drove her to the firehouse in my truck. I don't think I've seen this happy since we lost Louie. Unfortunately, that was right at the start of our marriage so that's saying something. Maybe this is exactly what we need as a couple. To have a family and just give her exactly what she's always wanted...a family with me.

While it's true that our marriage has had it's rough patches and the distance has been hard on us, I have to say that there has never been a single point during our entire marriage that I have regretted marrying Gabby. And if I could go back, I wouldn't change a thing because I loved our life together. But most importantly, I loved her and the life we have together. Whether it's here in Chicago or in Puerto Rico...when I said that it didn't matter where we lived, I meant it. Gabby was my whole world and nobody would ever be able to replace her. She's my one and only.

Since she left a while back, people have told me every once and a while that maybe it was time I give up. Maybe it was time for me to just let her go and serve her with divorce papers. But, I could never do it...not with our history. Since we got engaged over 5 1/2 years ago...stuff has been hard but, we've always made it through it together. And not just that, we've made it out of those events stronger than we ever were before the events happened. That was the real reason I never divorced Gabby. She was the only one in my heart. There is nobody else. She has been and always will be my one and only.

And now, we are in such a good place that us having a family just seems not only right...but like it was faith. It's why I am okay with leaving what happens up to faith. Gabby is the strongest woman I've ever known and she is not only able to hang with the boys effortlessly...she can dominate against the other guys at the firehouse. If she wasn't my wife, you'd think she was one of the boys on my truck. She was that strong, brave and tough. Nothing could ever take her down. That was why I was so mad when they tried to stop her from working last pregnancy.

And speaking of her last pregnancy, I have this feeling that is why Gabby is so guarded. I have seen that, even around me...she is being so much more safe. I just hope that I am not doing anything that is making her worry that something like what we went to last time we were pregnant is going to happen again. While it is always a possibility, I have a lot of faith in this pregnancy this time around. I know in my heart that this is the right time for us to have a child and just know that nothing is going to stop us from having a good outcome this time around.

Like I've previously said...if anybody deserves to have a child, it's us. Well, Gabby at least. She deserves to have a baby of her own because she has the biggest heart out of everybody I know and that is saying something. I have met thousands of people over my lifetime (because of my job) and I am biased because she is my wife. But, even if we were just friends...I would say the same thing because of what I saw when she tried to adopt Louie. The way she treats kids is amazing and I am so proud to call her my wife. Or as I like to call her...my girl.