Summer

Light

Warning: Sensitive Topics Ahead

I could feel flowers wilting under my fingers, cracked petals falling on the counter as the gentle fresh perfume of Daisies wafted toward my nose. Sunlight peeked in through the open window, warm and comforting. I wanted to cup it in my hands and hold it close to take it home. I wondered if it could spread across the house, lighten up the cold energy that always took hold when you entered the door.

Soft voices spoke behind me as I slipped a petal in my pocket. It was soft and silky smooth under the tips of my fingers. I wanted to take more, but all too soon I was being pulled away. I didn't cry, just simply accepted it. As I was led away another petal fell and I wasn't sure why but I felt sad. But I was a good girl. I did as I was told.

"Look at those eyes." Someone said as I walked by. "So innocent and trusting."

I looked around, noticing that everyone was starting to gather behind me. My heart was starting to race and my eyes welled up. I blinked them back rapidly. The petal in my pocket no longer felt like a comfort, but something that I was punished for.

Rushed voices were excitedly chattering around me, and finally I felt myself look at the person who had grabbed my hand. I didn't know her. Not really. I didn't know anyone here. But it was what was supposed to happen. I just didn't like that this lady was the one singing me Happy Birthday as my cake was displayed in front of me.

Where was my Father? My Mother? Who were all these people? 

I trembled as their voices grew louder, the soft flicker of candles being lit in the hollowed dark room. I knew what came next. You wished for something, but you couldn't tell anyone or else it wouldn't come true. I had seen it somewhere before. I closed my eyes as if someone could see my wish, blowing out the candles with a exaggerated breath. They cheered as if I was special. I opened my eyes, nearly stumbling back in surprise as she blankly stared back at me.

The person I wanted the most, was standing there like it was nothing. 

And then without warning I started to cry. The wax on the candles dripped onto the cake, ruining the beautifully intricate layers of frosting that the people were salivating over. But I couldn't stop. I wailed, screaming at the top of my lungs. Faces that were fawning over me, suddenly turned harsh and unforgiving. They now thought of me as the spoiled princess who got the big party and millions of presents.

Her eyes never wavered, slightly backing away as if I was destroying everything she had worked so hard for. I slammed my fist in my cake and enjoyed the look of the pastel pink frosting ruining my perfect day. My dress, my hair and everything that came with it all undone with a simple act of my small fists. I loved being so disheveled.

I could see the surprise in her face, shocked that I wasn't being obedient and sound for once. That I wasn't being a good girl. Why did I always have to be good when it never mattered anyway? Nothing I did ever made a difference.

My Father would make me pay for it later, but I couldn't bring it in me to care as people started to leave. They barely glanced back at me as I continued to cry. I wanted to hate them, with their fancy outfits and uptight demeanors that seemed to pray on the weak. But I didn't care about any of them.

I didn't care about the party, the cake, presents, or the beautiful delicate dress. No what I wanted was far more than that. And I would most likely never get it. What I wished for would never happen. Why did I have to let myself hope? She shook her head with a resigned sigh and walked out of the room. I was alone. Again.

I took the petal out of my pocket and threw it on the ground.

I was reaching for my pocket when I opened my eyes, but there was nothing but a tattered filthy dress sticking to bruised skin. Prickles erupted under my flesh as I tried to move to sit up. Pain radiated and flashed white hot throughout my whole body. I tried to be as quiet as possible, but couldn't help but let a out a little whimper. At that I froze, hoping Laura wasn't sitting in the corner watching. I didn't know what she'd do. I didn't want to find out.