Still being tormented and haunted by the memories of when he was the Winter Soldier. Bucky has tried so many things to help him deal with the trauma of his past but nothing has helped.
The Avengers can see how bad the nightmares are affecting Bucky...
The nightmares every night, the horrors of my past, and the guilt I feel are what cannot give me peace of mind, but it doesn't matter because I don't deserve peace or happiness, this is my punishment, my atonement for the sins of my past, for everything I did as the Winter Soldier.
I woke up in a cold sweat yet again after another nightmare, it was of one of the many Hydra missions that I was forced to go on, in this one I had taken the life of an innocent man, he had nothing to do with what was going on, he just there at the wrong time and the wrong place. I went ahead and got up and dressed and made my way to the training room of the compound yet again.
It still surprises me that after learning what happened with his parents, Tony was somehow able to forgive me and even let me live here. He never told Steve nor I what was it that made him change his mind but two years after T'Challa and Shuri were able to help me Tony had reached out to Steve to call a truce between us, we weren't sure at first but Steve being Steve met up with Tony, they talked and forgave each other for what happened. He even surprised us with the pardon he got for me, of course, there were conditions from the government, but nonetheless, he welcomed Steve back to the compound and gave me a new home.
So now here I am day in and day out living my new life, I train every day to keep my mind busy and go to my mandated therapy sessions with Dr. Raynor even though I hate them. But when I'm not doing either of those things then I hang out with Steve and reluctantly with Sam too.
It was a little after 5 am when I left the training room and headed back to my room to shower and get ready for the day, I wonder if there will be anything new soon.
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SOMEWHERE HALFWAY ACROSS THE COUNTY:
I woke up with a jolt, my breathing was heavy as I tried to shake the nightmare away, I laid back down, sleep was impossible now. Why was this still happening, it has been almost a year and I still cannot shake this away, I watched as the sky changed with the sun rising, it was not long after that my alarm went off, I turned it off and got up.
I showered and dressed then went to get started on the morning chores until the guys came an hour later, I was in the middle of cleaning a stall when Matt came in first.
He huffed out when he saw me, "already up I see."
"Well, all of this won't get done itself."
"Did you get any sleep last night?"
"A bit," Matt gave me a look.
"I managed to sleep a few more hours than I have before but another nightmare woke me up again, but it's getting better, slowly but surely, plus being with the horses here always helps me."
"Why don't you to talk to someone about this, maybe your parents."
"No, they already have so much on their plate, they don't need to know about this so don't even think about saying anything, now why don't you and Dylan go check on the herd and let Tyler and Caleb know to come and give me a hand."
"Alright boss."
"Thanks, Matt."
Matt left and a few minutes later Tyler and Caleb came in and got to work with me, as the day went on I wondered if anything new will happen.
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LOCATION: COMPOUND
Tony's POV:
It was late in the morning and I was still in the lab doing some tinkering when FRIDAY notified me of movement in the training room.
FRIDAY: Boss, it seems that Sergeant Barnes is in the training room again.
"How long has he been there?"
FRIDAY: Since 3am.
"Was it another nightmare?"
FRIDAY: Yes, boss.
I pondered, we all knew that the therapy the Barnes was getting was not helping at all, in fact it was making things worse for him. I then thought of the one place that could possibly help him, it worked for me two years ago after the revelation of what really happened to my parents and I was able to let go of all the anger I had felt towards both Steve and Barnes and move on.
I took my phone out and sent a text message hoping she would be able to get back to me soon.
Tony: When you get a chance call sometime today or tomorrow, I need a favor.
All I could do now was wait until she got back to me.
