ARE YOU MAN ENOUGH?

Chapter Seventy-Six

"O, HUWAG MO MASYADONG DAMIHAN ang pasalubong na chocolates," nangingiting lapit kay Lily ng kanyang nanay na si Gaia sa pinto. "Bawal na sa Papa mo ang matatamis. Kapag nakita n'on na marami, magdadahilan 'yon na sayang kung hindi niya kakainin 'yong iba."

Sinundan iyon ng magaang pagtawa ng babae. Her mother guided her to one of the cushion sofa seats covered with an old green sofa cover made of rough textile. Naglaro ang mga pattern ng bulaklak at dahon doon.

She just dropped by at her parent's house to say goodbye. She figured she should. She had no idea if she will ever come back anyway.

"Ako na ang tatawag kay Papa," ani Basil na kakapasok lang ng bahay. Ito kasi ang nahuling magparada ng kotse sa labas ng gate.

Gaia nodded, then seated beside her. Excitement sparkled her soft, droopy eyes. White strands nearly dominated the blackness of her fluffed, shoulder-length hair.

"Gaano katagal ka ba sa Europe, anak?Marami ka bang gagawan ng vlogs na spots doon?"

Within two years, Lily discovered that traveling is therapeutic for her. Hindi niya ma-contact si Jared, dalawang buwan matapos ang huli nilang pagkikita. Dalawang buwan bago siya tuluyang bumigay, hindi nakatiis at binahaan ng tawag, chats at e-mails ang lalaki. Lahat, hindi nito sinagot. Nahihiya naman siyang abalahin si Basil. Gayundin si Nena na buntis pa noon at si Beta na humabol pagdating sa pagdadalang-tao. Hindi rin naman sila masyadong close ni Paula. So, she ended up appearing in a psychologist's office.

Nakailang pa-referral din siya. Nakailang lipat. Lily figured that psychologists are like friends. You have to find one who is compatible with you and your needs. And when she found one, the solution to her ghosting and running away issues became visible.

She tried traveling when feeling upset. Kung hindi man kaya, nagba-bike siya. Naglalakad-lakad. Nagja-jogging. Sa ganoong paraan, pakiramdam niya malaya siya. Natatakbuhan niya ang problema. She was instructed to make a map before biking or jogging. The map was supposed to lead her back to where she started jogging or biking. And the moment she circled back to that spot, that should let her know that it's time to address what upsets her. She'll sit and have some water. Meditate while resting.

That worked for her. Since then, Lily began thinking big. She thought of traveling. From one city to another. Hanggang sa narating na niya ang mga probinsya sa Pilipinas.

She always filmed her travels, put subtitles and music instead of voice overs. She showed face in any of the clips. Then uploaded them on YouTube. Her subscribers grew in numbers. Comments flooded. She earned money off traveling. Even got offers to visit people's restaurants, hotels, vacation spots, and resorts. Kaya tinuloy-tuloy na niya.

And traveling helped her. Not run away from everything this time, but to see perspectives that she only saw when she went to a different place.

When she experienced a new experience.

When she learned something new about the myths and history of a place.

When she listened to other people's stories.

Minsan, nakakausap niya ang mga nakakasabay sa pagko-commute. O sa mga waiting lounges. O ang kanyang katabi sa eroplano. Nakakausap niya rin ang mga nakakasalamuha sa restaurant na kinakainan. O ang ilang staff sa tinutuluyan niyang hotel.

"Lily?"

She snapped back to reality. Nginitian niya ang ina.

"Marami. I think, matatagalan ako ng balik."

Kontentong ngumiti ito. Tumango-tango.

"Hindi lang ito ang pinunta ko rito," hugot niya ng malalim na paghinga.