ARE YOU MAN ENOUGH?

Chapter Twenty-Eight

TRIP TO JERUSALEM. Men in red briefs. A trick to make him mad jealous?

Wow. Just wow.

This woman. Talagang sinasamantala nito ang set-up nila.

Makasarili.

Walang pakialam sa mararamdaman niya.

Desperate.

But it’s alright.

Jared could stay patient with her. He will be patient with her. And he will always choose to be patient with Lily.

Dahil iyon ang gusto niyang gawin.

He was already driving his car home. Habang nagmamaneho, nasa babae na naman ang kanyang isip.

Nakakainis dahil nagbalik na naman ang lahat sa kanya. Lalo na ‘yong kung bakit niya ito nagustuhan.

“As long as you want a company, you’ll stay there. As long you love a person, you’ll keep making them feel that. Not because you deserve a raise in salary or a higher position. Not because you deserve to be loved back. But just because… that what you want. That’s what you feel.”

Dahil doon, akala niya, umayos na si Lily. Na ito na ulit ‘yong babaeng nakilala niya sa Belgium. That she was only using sex as an excuse to get closer to him and make him fall in love with her again.

Naisip niya iyon dahil walang pinagkaiba ang mga sinabi ni Lily noon sa restaurant sa mga sinabi sa kanya ng dalaga nung nasa Belgium pa sila. Saying the same things only meant a few things— one is, it’s the irrefutable truth, and the other is, it’s the consistent belief.

If Lily still believes in the same thing, there’s a possibility that how she felt for him way back in Belgium didn’t change somehow. If this is Lily’s truth, then it means, she truly cared for him like she did ever since they’ve first been together.

They were seated on a bench that faced Antwerp’s Scheldt river, its left bank.

Matamlay pagmasdan ang paligid— naghalo ang malabong puti at abuhing kulay sa langit. Halos walang kagalaw-galaw ang mga damo sa paligid. Maging ang tubig ng ilog ay hindi kumikilos.

Dahil taglagas noon sa Belgium, halos walang dahon din ang mga puno.

Kita ang hanay ng mga bahay at establisyemento sa kabilang pampang ng ilog.

Both of them wore thick coats and sweaters, sitting side by side, shoulders pressed against one another. Kapwa may hawak ang naka-gwantes nilang mga kamay na take-out cups ng mainit na kape.

“What have you done so far here in Belgium, Jared?” tanong ni Lily na sinabayan ng mahina at maliliit na huni ng mga ibon. “And what else do you want to do?”

“Okay na ako sa kung ano ang gusto mo. Kung saan mo gusto mamasyal, kung anong mga pagkain dito ang gusto mong subukan… sasama ako.”

“Sus,” she gave him a side-eye that matched her unconvinced smile, “hanggang dito ba naman sa Belgium, sunud-sunuran ka pa rin sa gusto ng ibang tao?”

“Come on, Lily,” harap niya sa babae. “My parents wanted me to become a doctor! Psychiatrist na dapat ako kung sunud-sunuran nila ako.”

Hinarap din siya nito. Hindi nagpadaig. “Hindi ka nga naging real doctor, but to compensate your parents dahil hindi ka pumasa sa exams, nagdoctorate ka na lang sa Psychology. So, gan’on pa rin ‘yon. Sinunod mo wishes nila na magkaroon ng Doc sa family niyo.”

“Hey, I still clarify it to them that my Doc doesn’t stand for medical doctor! Kahit sa mga clients ko!”

Hawak pa rin nito ang cup nang ipatong sa kandungan. Nakangiting tumanaw ito sa ilog.