ARE YOU MAN ENOUGH?

Chapter Thirty-Nine

HININTO NI LILY ANG SASAKYAN SA TAPAT NG ISANG TWO-STOREY DUPLEX. The design of the residence is a clash of modern and coutry— two straight buildings stood side by side in white and brown paint, rectangular dark-tinted windows and black-painted bar gates. Nakapalibot sa tahanan ang nagtataasang mga puno at lumalambitin sa pader na halaman ng yellow bell. The country appeal of the duplex could be felt more inside of it. Sa loob ng bahay nagkalat ang iba't ibang halamang pananim, ang veranda na may wooden flooring, picnic table na may plorera ng sunflowers sa gitna, at display ng basket ng mga makukulay na bulaklak.

Lily's eyes wandered around the veranda. Gawa sa kahoy ang grilled roofing doon kaya sumisirit ang mabining sinag ng araw. Nasa kabilang dulo ng veranda ang isang pakurbang sofa na gawa sa rattan; may puting kutson iyon sa upuan at throw pillows na may makulay na patterned prints. Katapat ng veranda ang malawak na latag ng berdeng artificial grass, isang mayabong na puno ng Acacia sa sulok na halos dumikit sa mataas na pader at hanay ng namumulaklak na halamanan.

Hindi malaman ni Lily kung saan pupwesto. Dinala lang siya roon ni Jared para doon maghintay. Mukhang, hindi pa kasi gising ang mga tao sa bahay. Nakakapagtaka dahil alas-nuwebe na ng umaga.

Oo, lagi akong late sa trabaho. Pero never naman ako inabot ng nine sa higaan. I mean, if I'm drunk, yeah, sure, isip niya habang patuloy na pinapasadahan ng tingin ang paligid.

Habang naglalakad-lakad, hindi niya mapigilang alalahanin ang naging pag-uusap nila ni Jared kagabi. Iyon ay noong hinatid niya ang lalaki sa bahay nito. Sarili niyang kotse kasi ang ginamit noon papuntang The Org...

"Lily," ani Jared, nakaupo ito sa kanyang tabi sa sasakyan.

"Yes?" nasa maluwag na kalsada lang ang kanyang tingin habang nagmamaneho.

"Did you intend to punish me? Kaya ba hindi mo tinuloy?"

"How come it's a punishment? Aren't you glad, hindi natuloy?" then she scoffed. "Kung natuloy 'yon, mas matindi pa ang dadanasin mong pagdurusa, Jared."

Dama niya ang mga mata ng lalaki sa kanya. She did not bother to face or return his gaze, because based on what her peripheral vision could see, Jared looked fine. And if ever he was only being his psychologist self and hiding his real reactions, Lily would still just roll with it. Wala lang talaga siya sa mood pakomplikaduhin pa ang lahat.

"It's a torture because I expected we'll have sex."

She could not help a mocking smirk. "You're tortured about that?"

"Of course." Nilipat ni Jared sa harap ang tingin. A slight flush touched his face, his voice sad. "It hurts to think you're almost in my reach, then gone. I wanted you to hold me so much... but then, you suddenly changed your mind." Sinundan iyon ng pag gaan ng tinig nito. "But if you don't want to have sex tonight, it's alright."

Lily took in a deep breath. He's really such a good sub. So understanding too. If he kept on talking so gentle like that, she might already assume he still loves her even if he's not confirming it.

That would be very bad.

"You just said some things that... that made want to stop," she explained.

He considered, she felt it from the weight of his silence. Then, he spoke gently. "Kahit ako, nagulat sa mga pinagsasasabi ko kanina. I'm sorry if that bothered you."

Hindi niya alam ang sasabihin kaya nanahimik siya.

Having babies with Jared... she didn't know what to feel about that.

That sounded... nice, to be honest.

But then...

Jared continued. "I think you have already made it clear from the very beginning. Na wala ang gan'ong bagay sa mga plano mo... sa isip mo. You just wanted good sex. I just wanted a stress relief."