ARE YOU MAN ENOUGH?

Chapter Fifty-Seven

LILY JUST GAVE OLIVER A STARE. She didn't initiate anything, but she already readied herself. Wala siyang ideya kung bakit nasa kanyang harapan ang lalaki. Wala siyang maisip na dahilan para lumapit ito sa kanya. Why he was also in this place was none of her concern at all.

Humakbang ito patagilid, umupo sa kabilang dulo ng bench. Oliver left a space between them similar metaphorically with the way he did in their relationship years ago. All Lily could hear where small hushed voices, footsteps and streams of water shooting up and down on the fountain.

Nanatiling diretso sa harap ang kanyang tingin. Buo na ang kanyang pasyang manatili sa kinauupuan. Hihintayin niya si Jared at hindi aalis dito anuman ang mangyari. She made Jared wait for her in vain before, at Belgium. Hinding-hindi na niya hahayaang mangyari pa iyon ulit. Lalo na kung ang magiging dahilan na naman ang Oliver na ito.

"Lily," Oliver finally spoke, his head faced her direction.

Hindi niya sinalubong ang tingin nito. Hindi rin niya sinagot. But her peripheral vision caught glimpse of how Oliver was doing on his side of the bench. All of a sudden, he moved. May balak umusog ang lalaki para tumabi pa sa kanya.

Mabilis na nilapag ni Lily ang shoulder bag sa pagitan nila. That blocked his attempt from sliding closer to her. Siyang lingon ni Lily kay Oliver. She gave him an emotionless gaze.

"What do you want, Oliver?"

Mataman muna siya nitong tinitigan. Tinimbang bago nagkaroon ng lakas ng loob tumugon.

"How are you?"

"I'm doing great," maluwag niyang ngiti rito. "How about you? And how's Gretchen?"

Napunta sa harap ang tingin ng lalaki. It's so easy to say you're fine even when you're not. Lily could not understand why Oliver could not come up with any response. He just pulled a smile that did not reach his eyes.

"Ilan na ang anak ninyo? The last time, panganay niyo pa lang 'yon, 'di ba? 'Yong dinadala niya nung iniwan mo ako at pinili mo siya?"

Napatingin sa kanya si Oliver. Ano pa ba ang hinahanap ng mga mata nito sa kanyang mukha? Was he searching for any hint of bitterness? Was he trying to find pain in her eyes? An uncertainty in her smile?

"How could you be so casual about it?" Oliver's voice trickled.

"Casual about what?" she sighed.

"After all that I did to you, how could you talk to me like that?" something writ in Oliver's eyes. For Lily, it looked like pain. But she just would not buy it. Why would Oliver hurt in this conversation?

Her voice remained steady through her confusion. Hindi lang niya makuha kung bakit ganoon kung makaakto ang kanyang kausap.

"Talk like what?"

His Adam's apple dragged slightly. Oliver braved himself. "Talk like nothing happened in the past."

"Shouldn't I be the one who wonders about that?" she slightly tilted her body toward Oliver's direction. "I mean, ikaw ang unang lumapit sa akin. Saan mo nakuha ang lakas ng loob na lapitan ako? After all the shit you've done to me?"

He released a breath, as if he was tortured deep inside. "I just took a leap of faith, to be honest with you."

She doesn't really care. But at the same time, she didn't want to be rude with him. Kapag nagsimula na kasi siyang ma-badtrip, baka maapektuhan niyon ang kanyang mood mamaya sa date nila ni Jared. Ayaw naman ni Lily na mangyari iyon. Ayaw niyang mapagbuntunan si Jared ng anumang pagkabahalang nararamdaman niya ngayon.

"Now, can you please answer my question? Ano'ng kailangan mo at nilapitan mo ako?"

Binuhusan ito ng pagkapahiya. Nag-iwas ng tingin sa kanya si Oliver. Parang tanga ang lalaki na matapos maglakas-loob lumapit sa kanya, hindi naman masabi-sabi kung ano ang gusto nitong mangyari.