ARE YOU MAN ENOUGH?

Chapter Seventy-Three

MADALING ARAW PA LANG GISING NA ANG LAHAT. Everyone sat crossed legged on the grass, surrounded by the tall trees at the back yard of the villa. Karamihan ay nakapanlamig. Naka-hoodie.

The sky was a deep, dark cerulean. Wisps of white clouds slid by, the chilly fog slowly parted as time approaches to morning. Medyo masakit ang mga kasu-kasuan ni Jared dahil pinili niyang mamaluktot ng tulog kagabi sa kotse.

In the car, he did some crying. He bawled his eyes out until he was emptied. And when he thought he was already empty, his eyes would overflow again with tears.

At dahil hirap naman siya makatulog, kahit tutol ang kanyang prinsipyo, tinignan na rin niya ang laman ng cellphone ni Oliver. Sumimple pa siya ng hingi ng eye cream kay Arlene nang makita itong pagala-gala pa kasama si Isla malapit sa infinity pool. Napansin kasi ng mga ito ang pamamaga ng mga mata niya at nabanggit ni Arlene na may eye cream ito. Dahil doon, gumising siyang hindi namamaga ang mga mata.

Jared spearheaded the open forum. In his pair of gray jogger pants, gray sneakers, and pull-over hoodie, he walked left to right to get a better view of everyone as he talked.

Alam niyang time consuming na pagsalitain isa-isa ang lagpas isang daang empleyado. Pero iyon din ang dahilan kaya madaling-araw pa lang ay nagtipon na sila. Giniit niya kay Paula na gusto niyang maramdaman ng bawat isa na importante ang kanilang saloobin. He even offered to pay for any additional renting fee. Iyon ay kung magdulot ng over-time ang open forum.

Jared braced himself once Lily stood up. It was her turn.

He could also see it from her calm, sullen look that she managed to prepare herself. It was only her eyes that showed a thread of doubt.

But despite that, she went on.

Jared just stared at her. Waited.

Waited like what he always does for her.

“Noong una,” Lily opened up, “may sama ako ng loob. Sa Variant, I always felt bullied. I always felt misunderstood. Especially by the top management.”

Then she paused.

Come on, Lily. You can do it, his eyes encouraged her.

She took in a deep breath. Napaiwas ito ng tingin sa kanya, hindi kinaya ang pwersa mula sa kanyang mga mata.

“Everyone knows that, my family owns this company.” She continued, eyes on her toes. “So, to be put in the most useless job in this company, ‘yong taga-print at photocopy at filing ng mga docs... Pakiramdam ko, pinagkaisahan talaga ako. Na mas may kwenta pa nga ang mga trabaho ng janitor kaysa sa trabaho ko.” Lily mustered enough strength to lift her head up once more. “Pero siyempre, noon lang iyon. Noon ko lang naisip ang mga bagay na iyon. It only took one conversation with this person to wake me up with the truth. I am humbled down. Ginising niya ako sa katotohanan na walang maliit na trabaho. Na lahat ng trabahong iniatang sa iyo sa isang kompanya ay may halaga, gaano man kabigat ang responsibilidad, gaano man siya kababa sa hierarchial chart ng Variant. And that when it comes to work, it is not always about me, personally. That your work and your bosses doesn’t give that much damn about your personal life. Because it is your own life. You deal with it by yourself. Ikaw mismo, you protect it from your work, your bosses, or even from people close to you when they start messing it up.

Hindi ang workmate mo, o ang boss mo, o kahit ang mga kaibigan at pamilya mo… hindi sila ang dapat magsabi kung kailan mo aalagaan o pagtutuunan ng pansin ang personal mong buhay at kaligayahan. Ikaw mismo ang dapat na magsabi kung kailan mo gusto ‘yon gawin.”

Lily pulled a small, hopeful smile. “Kung tutuusin nga, swerte ako. Kasi, hindi naman ako qualified pero nilagay pa ako sa HR Department. Hindi pangmamaliit ang ginawa sa akin kundi tulong. Nilagay nila ako sa trabaho na, hindi magiging unfair para sa iba na mas qualified para sa akin.” Napailing ito. “Well, I am not really sure if it’s still a fair thing… Hindi naman ako qualified sa kahit anong trabaho. Tanga ako sa trabaho. Hindi ako makakapagtrabaho yata rito kung hindi ako Marlon. I don’t know.”