The Mallapers: A Rejected Mate Story

Chapter Thirty Six

Ryan's Point of View

I sat in my personal library which was adjacent to my bedroom. My personal library was not something I shared with anyone. I was a secret book worm, a secret nerd as I used to taunt those when I was at school. I remember the boys at the Alpha Academy would taunt those who spent their lunches in the library. 

I remember feeling this desperate need to fit in, as a Royal Prince I was isolated, people looked up to me, girls looked at me in lust, boys in envy. It was difficult to find friends. Therefore I started to change my public persona, I associated with people who I thought were on my level, I copied their actions, flirting with the girls, playing sports. 

Whenever I looked back on my teenage years, I never really regretted it. I was popular and well liked, there was this fear from others being shunned or bullied. I didn't really care. Until recently. Until Leyla. I looked back at our first encounter after years of separate. My mother told me she was a power hungry girl who was only using me for the spotlight. I never got that that impression but as the years went by, it was engrained in my mind. 

I remember seeing her in school after years of not laying eyes on her. She was still small in height and her features were still young. She didn't have the curves that she did back then, but when I saw her my heart thumped. She still had her long raven hair and her skin was still so pale that her eyes just shined as bright as the stars in the sky. 

I remember when she first approached me at school. No one had even made the effort to speak or talk to me, but Leyla did. She always my fearless little warrior. When she approached though all I could remember was my mother's words. It was then that I looked at her in disgust and told her never to address me so informally. 

That was the first time that I started to lay my hands on Leyla. I would push, shove, even hit her. I didn't care. Thinking back, I know my father would have been ashamed of my behaviour and if she ever told him what I did I know I would have faced his fury. My mother on the hand would have been proud because I decided to make friends who were good connections, people with a reputation. 

I sighed thinking about Leyla. I remember feeling such hate for her, I mean I thought she was one of my father's whore's. Mother used to cry endlessly at the attention father paid her and when I saw her and my father by the river, rolling around in the grass. I thought my heart was going to break. The person I had secretly longed for, the person I wanted my mate to be, was with my father. That broke me and broke my mother. 

However, since Elisha's arrival my mind has so many unanswered questions. I didn't feel the flames with Elisha that I felt with Leyla. Why did I believe she was my mate in the first place? I had spent countless hours in my library begging my wolf to say something, but there is nothing but silence. 

Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed my time with Elisha it was nice to see her again. I felt happy at first, she was a very charismatic person, it was difficult not to enjoy her company. However, the more time she spent here, the more time I questioned whether I truly loved her. There was just something missing with Elisha. I wasn't content with her company. I wanted more. I needed more. The problem I was having was that it wasn't Elisha I wanted more of, it was Leyla. 

I thought back to the bits of conversations I had with my wolf and although he hasn't directly said that Leyla is my mate, he has never said that Elisha was my mate either. The pull I once found myself feeling to Elisha is overshadowed by the pull I feel towards Leyla. The more time I spent away from Leyla, the more I desperately tried to catch glances of her. 

I can imagine that Leyla thought I was ignoring her during my stay, but I had secretly started to follow her after visiting her at the cottage. Initially I hoped to find something that would show she was a traitor but as time went by all I saw was her caring nature. She worked in the infirmary, tending to the sick, she saw the omegas and helped them with their chores.