Breaking Free (Story One) *Unedited*

Chapter Thirty One

Getting in Ginger's car I vowed to never step foot in another party again. They always seem to end in a disaster. "So you guys wanna grab something to eat on the way home?" Ginger asks.

"Yeah." Maria says, "McDonald's sounds good."

"Ehh how about Whatabuger instead?" pulling into the parking lot they get their food. I am way too nervous to eat now since I sobered up some awhile ago. Rereading his last text we need to talk oh god this couldn't be good. Needing to talk was never a good sign. Letting him know I was home  I see no sign of Caden nor do I receive a text back. Going  into my room just to almost have a heart attack. There he is in the middle of my bed with his eyes closed. He must be asleep crises talk has been averted thank the heavens. Kicking off my shoe I go to my closet to get a change of clothes this is going to be my third shower. 

"You can take a shower after we have had our conversation." he casually says getting up and prying my choices out of my hands.

"I thought you were asleep."

"I know."

Gulping I move to sit at my desk. Sitting up he faces me. "Wanna explain to me what tonight was all about?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I asked you to let me know you made it home safely just to find out you're at a party being harassed." Getting up he paces around, "Do you have any idea how worried I was. I called and texted and you never responded. I had to text your friend to find out where you were."

Grabbing my phone I look through our messages. 

Hey are you okay? 

Did you make it in safely?

 Jade, sweetheart let me at least know you are okay? 

The last one through me off, I am on my way. It read. "I didn't receive them because I put you on do not disturb." 

"Why?"

"Because I messed up and I didn't know how to fix it."

"So you choose to wallow in pity."

"Yes, no, I don't know. I am in uncharted water when it comes to you and I just needed to think."

"You are always thinking. But did you ever stop to think how you are constantly hurting me?"

 Eyes widen over that confession, what? I hurt him?  "I hurt you?"

"All the time."

"When? How?"

A humorless laugh sprouts from him, "When you're always pushing me away, when you friend zone me, when you refuse to lean on me even when though we established we are friends, when you constantly reject me."

Rage bubbled up inside of me, "You have no idea about rejection."

After a minute of silence, "Is this about that bitch boy Lorenzo? Did you go to that party to get drunk over him?" when I give no answer he rubs a hand across his face,  "What are you doing to yourself?"

Shaking my head, "Nothing,  just leave me alone."

"No, you act as if you're the only person in the world who has ever been rejected by someone."

Raising my voice, "You don't get to judge how I handle things ya know? Any girl anywhere would happily drop their panties for you. They literally throw themselves at you all the time."

"I have been rejected by most of my family and people I thought were friends. Hell my own mother didn't even want me until I started being of some use. So do not tell me that because some girls would jump in bed with me I don't know what it feels like." he snaps back at me.

"Fine, alright if you must know he was one of many that rejected me and yes his cut the deepest." standing up I go toe to toe with him, "He hurt me so badly I can't trust another guy ever again."  throwing my hands in the air, " But he wasn't why I was drinking I wanted to forget messing up our date I wanted to forget the pain that rejection brings me every time I get near a guy."

Running his hands through his hair in frustration, "Jade I can't believe this I keep trying to show you over and over again that you are more than just a friend to me constantly." Releasing a breath of frustration, "It's not fair that you keep comparing me to every guy that hurt you. Ive never done that with you not once because you are so special to me. So different from the women I grew up with and who try to surround themselves around me. I thought you could see the difference in me." the pain in his voice shatters me.

"Caden."

Laughing bitterly he shook his head, "But I guess not. I don't know if I can keep doing this with you anymore. Just so you know you didn't ruin our date I did."  Opening the door he walks out leaving me a blubbering mess. After twenty minutes I get up if I thought Lorenzo hurt me nothing compared to the mess that I was now. I caused this because I have been so selfish he deserves better. He should have met someone else. Taking off my clothes I take a long shower I didn't get out until the water runs cold.