Scintillating Ember Eyes || Tk

•19•

•Chapter nineteen•

I'll stay because you want me to.

Mira woke up with a hiss. She instantly snapped her head to the side when she felt her mate's presence nearby.

Her heart clenched in pain. Her wolf whimpered too, feeling the rejection and harshness when she sees how the alpha had chosen to sleep on the farthermost, the edge, of the bed than being with anyone near her and had kept his back facing her.

She was upset. Wasn't she allowed to be so?

She longed for love and care, to be seen as someone worthy of experiencing the genuine and pure feelings other than anger towards her.

That's all she needed.

That's the things Jungkook had shown her and forced her to live in a unrealistic world where she thought that Jungkook would be there for her.

Love.

She was desperate for it.

She surely couldn't force a person to be with her and love her, but she had already concluded that Jungkook felt for her. 

Why would he stand for her, embrace her, if it wasn't for love? Why would he unconsciously promise to marry her if that wasn't what he unconsciously wanted?

Jungkook was just stuck to his past, and she believed that a time will come when Jungkook will see Taehyung's disinterest and start loving her.

It could not be wrong for her to wish for that.

She wanted to change her entire dusty and dirty past self into someone who could be lovable and charming like Taehyung. She didn't hate Taehyung, not one bit, rather saw him as an inspiration.

He was the only hurdle in her path of getting Jungkook, but he was also a sweet and caring elder brother like person.

She didn't want to steal Jungkook from him because Jungkook didn't even belong to him. Jungkook didn't belong to her either--

That is, yet.

He will be hers soon.

Then why did she feel this burning pain in her heart even when Jungkook had made love to her last night?

It hurt. It constricted her mind until she was left with hundreds of baseless thoughts which clashed, moulded and left with no sense at all. She was thinking a lot of things but couldn't point out to what she really felt.

The only emotion she felt now was negativity.

Refusal. Rejection. Hatred. Abuse.

That was what made her what she is. Her entire childhood, that's all she got. She had often longed for something better, which included anything but this life. Death too was something she used to see as a luxury which she couldn't give herself because she had to prove herself a good daughter by making sure that her dad is proud of her.

She wanted to be loved, even by someone as disgusting as her father.

She wanted to be accepted.

And Jungkook accepted her wholeheartedly by embracing her that night.

But was keeping Jungkook away from his happiness her happiness? Not at all.

That's why she felt disgusted of herself for drugging Jungkook now. 

She was upset when Jungkook didn't do it himself and just forced it upon him.

She was indeed disgusting then. But she would die if her dream doesn't come true and she doesn't get a good life with Jungkook.