My Angel In Disguise [Jacksepticeye X Reader] [BOOK 1] [#Wattys2016]

Chapter 10: A Heart Stained With Scars

**WARNING CONTAINS THE FEELS!  READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION!!!!**

***FULL OF QUOTATIONS! WARNING IN ADVANCE***

Sean sat with her on the bed. Her head on his thighs, trying not to cry. He stayed silent in deep thought. She sat up, taking a deep breath. He looked over at her. She looked at him.

"Okay. For the 3 months we've been dating, I've kept a lot from you and I'm truly sorry. I am opening my heart and pouring it out to you. I really do love you, and I don't want to hurt you. So here is ALL of the secrets I've kept from you." She took a deep breath, sparking his interest. 

"James V.Q Johnson. He is the one who abused me. He's 6'1'', has brown eyes, and black hair. He works at Best Buy on the corner of main street. I was drunk when I met him, I wasn't wasted but I was intoxicated. We made out for the night and I went back to his place. I woke up 3 in the morning with a hangover, I had to throw up and I got some on his sheets as I went to the bathroom. I told him I could clean it up. I washed his clothes throughout the day. I didn't know where I was and I didn't know where my friends where. He asked me if I wanted to stay with him for the night and in the morning he would take me home. I was working for him all day, so I went to sleep early. He locked all of the exits and took my phone and hid it. I woke up 3 in the morning, completely sober, and I go to leave, the exit is locked. I tried the back, I tried the windows and I even tried the basement. All of them were locked. He woke up hearing me trying to escape, he walked to me, backing me up against a wall. All up in my face, he told me if I tried to leave or actually left and went to the police, if he got charged, when and if he ever saw me again, he'd kill me. He said he didn't care of police were watching, or anyone for that matter. I lived with him for almost 1 1/2 years before I had enough of it. and that's when I found you. So, after you found me, you took me down to your flat, and that's when they came back. The urges. *pulls up her sleeves and shirt. starts to cry* He never cared enough to stop me, so I thought it was okay, because he never questioned me, and he let me do it. Upstairs, *Deep breath* . I have hidden almost 4 razors in our room. I haven't touched them since we met, but they are there. Do what you please. I'm sorry. I haven't cut since you saw me first. I knew even before we dated that you were a caring person and you'd stop me, but Hey? How can someone love a self harmer.. So yeah. I hope that clears things up for you, sorry I've kept them so long." He pulled her closer, his face stained with tears, not knowing what to do or say. He held her close to his body. He stayed calm. 

"Well, I'm glad you haven't touched those blades, and Yes I am throwing those away. May I ask you something? It's something about your story that doesn't quite make sense to me?" He asked.

"Mhmm?" She responded.

"Why didn't you tell me? I could've helped you. and I plan on doing that. I just want to know why you didn't tell me?" 

"I didn't think you could handle it. I thought you would leave me." She choked on her tears. He sat her up. 

"I think I handled it quite well." She nodded. "Better than I expected." She added.

"What to know why?" She nodded. 

"It's because I love you. You don't need to cut yourself, because your not solving anything, just making it worse. I love you and I am willing to help you, I won't fight your battles for you, but I will help you with them. Please promise me, with ALL of your heart.. that after I throw those razors away, you will never pick another up again. That includes pills." She nodded again, holding back tears.

Sean loved her, he really did. Not only did it kill him inside knowing he could've helped her, and he never knew what he was dealing with. He was also hurt because James had let her do this to herself for about 2 years. He hugged her tightly kissing his forehead. 

"I love you." She burst into tears. Covering her mouth with her hand, she cried. "Stop.." He kissed her.

"I can't. I love you to much" He pulled her closer. Smiling. She looked up and smiled. He wiped her tears. She sat on his lap facing him. Sean smiled and pulled her close to him, hugging her tight. She melted into his arms.

"When you hug me, I feel safe." He pulled her closer. She nodded. "Keep doing that."

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~Hello reader. Hopefully the feels weren't as strong as Chapter 9. Yes James hurt her deeply. Would he ever get his justice? Would he ever pay the price? Two wrongs don't make a right, but does is that statement even relevant? He deserves to get a taste of his own medicine. Hey, Woah, woah, woah. Let's not jump ahead of ourselves now. Calm down dear reader. Your wish might not be granted. All up to the book.~