The Consultant (Loki x Male Reader)

5. the light

3rd pov

y/n couldn't tell if he was dead or alive. his entire body felt light, his head was empty and nothing clouded his mind. he felt at peace. he was comfortable. he heard a laugh and he opened his eyes. ahead of him, there was a bright light. he squinted as he sat up, staring at it and trying to make it out.

he stood up when he could hear voices talking distantly. he was too far away to
make out what they were saying. he walked forwards, the light getting larger and larger as he approached, the voices getting clearer and clearer.

he could see them now— the people who were talking. it was him and loki. they were laughing and talking to each other fondly, two children running around them and playing with each other. loki and himself turned to him.

"hello, love," loki said to him.

he blinked rapidly as he tried to comprehend what he was seeing.

"you're seeing what your future could've been," the y/n in front of him said. "this is what life could have been if you had kept on wanting to live." he got a pained expression on his face.

loki stepped closer to him, "do you remember when i was hurt, when i was hurt and broken? you were there, you were always there. no matter how many times i pushed you away or hurt you? can you please let me do that for you?"

"but— i—" y/n tried to say. other y/n cut him off.

"do you remember the first time you and loki made love? how he treated you like you were the greatest treasure in all of the nine realms? he gave you so much love, he gave you all of himself as you did to him," other y/n said.

y/n could feel adoration flutter in his heart at the memory.

other y/n brightened up. "there it is. that's it," he said.

"do you remember how we would soothe each other after bad dreams? do you remember holding me in your arms every night?" loki asked.

y/n felt longing in his heart to hold loki again. wanted to hug him and hold him and kiss him and cherish him. he reached out for the loki in front of him. loki backed away.

"no, i am not your loki," loki said.

y/n frowned, confused.

"your loki is out in the real world. you can't have him because you don't want to live for him," other y/n said.

"wait! i want to live! i— i want to live, i want to hold loki, i-i—," y/n said frantically, feeling fear in his chest begin to spread.

the loki in front of him smiled like y/n had never seen before. he was beaming.

"that's all you need to do. you just need to want to live," loki said, reaching out for y/n. y/n stumbled forward clumsily.

loki laid his hand flat on y/n's chest, right where his heart was. he shoved y/n back, causing him to stumble and fall. he braced himself as he fell towards the ground.

y/n gasped a painful breath and immediately began coughing and convulsing on the ground, his eyes shot wide open. he flinched at his surroundings, no longer in front of himself and loki. he was back in the room where he was shot. he looked down frantically and saw the bullet hole in his chest and heaved a trembling breath.

he watched as thick blood seeped from the hole. he rolled over and pushed himself off of the ground, surprised that he was even able to move. he pressed one hand to the two bullet holes on his side and pressed the other to the one on his chest.

he stumbled out of the building and into the daylight. he walked down the sidewalk as fast as he could, the movement causing him to lose blood faster. he felt himself get dizzy just as he came out of the small back alley the building was hidden behind. he was out on a main street now. he needed to get to a hospital. he needed to get medical help.

he chose to walk left, passing by horrified strangers, some pulling out their phones to call emergency services. everything was spinning, his legs numb under him. he tripped and hit the ground hard, groaning.

his vision spotted black, fading out. he was dying. he was sure he was going to die any moment now.

oh well. at least he tried, right?

***

"we're losing his pulse! we're losing him!"

"stop the bleeding!"

"get a blood transfusion ready!"

"his blood— his blood isn't even human, ma'am."

"his heart's stopped! get the defibrillator ready!"

"clear!"

ZAP!

nothing.

"clear!"

ZAP!

nothing.

"he's not responding, what do we do?"

"one more time."

"clear!"

ZAP!

what was that beeping?

"he's stabilizing!"

"oh, thank the heavens."

***

the first thing y/n felt was a pounding headache. with a groan, he put a hand to his head and peeled his eyelids open to see where he was. he found green red-rimmed eyes staring back at him. y/n's eyes shot open wide and he gaped at loki.

"loki," he croaked, voice already quivering and tears coming to his eyes.

loki tackled y/n into the bed, his body shaking as he held back his own cries. y/n pulled him all the way onto the bed and held him tightly.

"you said you w-wanted to go, but you're here. you're here, i'm so happy you're here," loki cried into his shoulder.

y/n felt tears rise to his own eyes and he swallowed hard. he released a shaky breath.

"i was going to let myself die, i really was. i wanted to die," y/n began, rubbing loki's back to sooth him. he sniffled. "do you remember that talk we had, the one we had after i woke up from healing you after thanos attacked?"

he could feel loki nod.

"we said to each other that we were worth living for. i told you that you were worth living for. i guess i..." he took a moment to calm himself before continuing. "i guess i just forgot that for awhile. i love you, loki. i love you so, so much. you will always be worth living for."

loki let out an audible sob and held onto y/n tighter, burying his head into the crook of y/n's neck.

"i won't leave you, loki. never again," y/n whispered into loki's hair.

THE END.

even though i said the end i still kind of have like a depressing but happy ending add on to this whole thing but idk if i'll ever write or publish it 💀💀💀 just like— addressing y/n's ptsd and then his journey to healing himself of those wounds— because he never really got to do that

idk if that'd be interesting to anyone lol so im a lil iffy on it