The Consultant (Loki x Male Reader)

part: 62

3rd pov

y/n was now in proper clothes and sitting at the breakfast bar of the new living space he shared with loki. he warmed his fingers on the mug of tea he was holding and held it under his nose so he could inhale it's slightly citrus-y scent.

he sipped his tea and then set it down again, sighing as he traced the granite pattern of the breakfast bar with his finger. everything was rather dull now, there were no aliens from some moon trying to kill him, there were no crazy eccentric dictators trying to get in his pants. right now it was just him and his mug of tea.

he couldn't help but wonder what he was even supposed to do with his life. was he supposed to continue being an avenger? should he work at the nearest mcdonald's? should he pursue his college degree again? would anything other than being an avenger even bring anything stimulating into his life at this point? he wasn't sure if his life outside of being an avenger even existed anymore. he was finally able to grasp why fury was so weary about him becoming an avenger.

he groaned and got up from the breakfast bar and dumped his tea in the sink, not having an appetite for it anymore. he stretched his weary muscles and the dull ache in them reminded him that his life was real and not some fever dream.

he walked down the hall and opened the first door he saw, having not explored it yet. the room before him was familiar, yet different. he could tell that it was loki's room, small shelves lining the walls, books and other small trinkets loki managed to collect displayed on them. loki's veridian-black bed neatly made and untouched.

y/n gently closed the door and opened the next one, finding the sheets, his sheets, on the bed weren't as neatly done as loki's. a loki sized imprint on the top blanket sat before y/n's eyes, causing him to smile. loki had slept in y/n's bed last night.

he moved on to the next room and nudged the door open, finding his piano and book collection all in perfect condition. they weren't even dusty. he noticed that there were more paintings hung up, adding a very scholarly and relaxing vibe to the entire room.

he returned back to his room and collapsed onto the bed, the faint smell of loki —an indescribable but pleasant scent— filling his nose. he threw an arm over his eyes to block out the sunlight and sighed.

he'd much rather be in the conference room further expanding his knowledge on humanity's existence the past six months he's been gone, but everyone, even loki, insisted he get more rest. why didn't they tell that to thor, who was in no better condition than him? or loki, who just experienced dying and then coming back to life? though— that wouldn't be his first time.

y/n did admit that he was tired, but the thoughts of what he was supposed to with his future and life kept him from sleeping. all he could do was lay there and mull around in his thoughts, nothing else he felt like doing.

he heard the door click open and could immediately tell that it was loki who had entered.

"are you guys done conspiring without me?" y/n asked, not taking his arm off his eyes. he felt the bed dip under a new weight and lay next to him. a hand laid on his chest and began drawing patters.

"how do you feel?" loki finally asked, sliding his hand over y/n's chest and pulling him closer. y/n took his arm off of his eyes but still didn't open them and draped it over loki.

"i told you guys i'm fine," y/n said, burying his head into loki's chest. "just peachy."

"i'm not sure whether or not to believe you," loki said. y/n would roll his eyes if they weren't closed.

"i said i'm fine, loki. i mean it," y/n said, a little more harsh to get his point across.

loki sighed, withdrawing from y/n's hold a bit. "how could you be fine? how could any of us be fine?"

y/n turned onto his other side to face away from loki. "i'm fucking fine, jesus, stop asking." y/n's voice cracked and he jammed his palms into his eyes to try and stop tears from falling from them.

"oh, darling," loki whispered sadly, turning y/n onto his back and pressing soft kisses to his neck. y/n couldn't fight the tremble in his body as he desperately combatted the urge cry. loki's soft touches only making him want to cry more.

"when am i going to say i'm fine and mean it?" y/n asked brokenly, giving up on trying not to cry. he let his arms drop defeatedly and released a shaky breath.

loki let his head rest on y/n's chest and held him close. "i wish i knew, my love." loki felt awful, he wished he had all of the answers for y/n, wished he could do more for him than just hold him close.

"things may be... terrible right now, there's no denying that. there's no denying that there will be a great deal of healing and hard work ahead of us," loki began saying, not knowing how those words were even escaping his mouth at that moment. "but we can get better and we will get better."

"what if we get better and then something makes it bad again?" y/n asked, sniffling.

"well, there's no guaranteeing that won't happen, so i guess we're just going to have to get better again after that too," loki said.

y/n groaned.

"you make it sound like we only experience bad things, love. while you and i and everyone else involved has the right to grieve and be upset, let's not forget the good that's come to us." loki said, lifting his head to look at y/n's face.

"darling, look at me."

y/n opened his red-rimmed eyes to finally look at loki.

"think about it. think of everything good that's happened. those things are what's worth living for. for me... you're what i find worth living for," loki said, taking y/n's hand squeezing it gently.

y/n broke a small smile and closed his eyes. "you're worth living for, too, loki."

loki smiled and pressed a quick kiss to y/n's lips.

"we don't know what the future has in store for us, but i'm positive that whatever we face we'll do it together."

"yeah, together. or something."

"or something?"

THE END.

yes, you read that right. that's the end of this book. no joke, it's over. i mean it.

i had so much fun writing this fic. i loved everyone's comments— they were what motivated me to keep writing :) it was a wonderful journey beginning to end and it's kind of insane to me that i started this and finished it within 4 months. 100,000+ words in 4 months.

...so, while this book IS technically over, i wasn't joking about that, i have one last thing planned for it.

like a DLC but for writing kinda deal. i'll be prioritizing my other fic im working on over this one now, but it will not be forgotten! i also have another idea for a new loki fic entirely that i might start at some point :)

thank you all for reading this story! farewell, my loves. this is not the end (of us, the story IS over).

with much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much MUCH LOVE,

Lex :) <3