The Consultant (Loki x Male Reader)

part: 31

song: stand by me - ben e. king

hi :) i've been thinking about this fic all day lol, so i thought i'd update. it doesn't help that i binged the entirety of the falcon and the winter soldier all in one day, either. so here we are. i hope you enjoy :)

3rd pov

y/n stared at the sushi laid out in front of him. 

"so it's fish? in rice? with seaweed?" y/n asked. he leaned back into the couch looked between thor and loki. "and it doesn't taste the way the ocean smells, right?"

thor chuckled. "brother, people wouldn't eat it if it tasted the way the ocean smelled."

"i think they would, actually. midgardians are weird like that. did you know there's this fruit that tastes absolutely horrendous, and the midgardians still choose to eat it! they are truly a masochistic species," loki rambled, leaning his elbow on his knee and holding his chin with his fingers.

thor and y/n blinked at him. loki sat up from his hunched position and inhaled deeply.

"anyways, i can assure you that sushi is rather divine. you'll like it. here," loki said, picking up the sushi with his chopsticks and holding it up to y/n's face.

y/n eyed it suspiciously and brought his hand up to take the sushi from the chopsticks. loki pulled the sushi away.

"just eat it off of the chopsticks, i insist. it tastes better that way," loki said. 

y/n's eyebrow twitched, and he seemed to zone out. 

"chuck norris," he whispered, and loki's eyes widened.

"pardon?" loki asked, leaning closer to y/n to make sure he hears correctly this time.

"what is... a chuck norris?"  y/n finally asked, his eyes still glazed over with a strange look.

everything disappeared around him, and he got a sharp pain in his head. he bent over and held his head in his hands, scrunching his face in pain. he heard muffled voices around him, but he couldn't make out was he was saying.

the pain went away and he opened his eyes. he wasn't sitting on the couch in avengers tower anymore. he was sitting at a table in a strangely familiar restaurant. in front of him sat loki.

"he's a famous actor, he makes for really funny jokes too," he heard himself say. he had no control over what he was saying or doing, like he was watching a movie through his own eyes. then it dawned him. this was a memory.

"what kind of jokes?" loki asked. y/n felt himself lean back in his seat. 

he started laughing, struggling to speak. "death once had a near-chuck-norris experience."

loki just watched him, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. y/n stopped laughing when he realized he was the only one doing it. he cleared his throat and sat there awkwardly. he watched as loki thought for a moment.

"tell me another one," loki said.

"chuck norris makes onions cry," y/n said. immediately bursting into laughter afterwards. he watched as loki's eye brightened too, a small chuckle escaping his lips.

everything faded away, and he sat up with gasp, his head collided with something hard as he went up. 

"ow," he said, his squeezed shut at the stinging feeling in his forehead. he heard groaning beside him and opened his eyes to see thor on the floor and in agony.

y/n turned his head as he heard cackling, and he looked over to see loki not even trying to hold in his laughter.

"told you so," loki said, still cackling evilly.