Savior

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Teresa has never been a fan of the whole christian thing. Her whole family is Christian, and she doesn’t think what they mainly believe in is necessarily wrong, nor that all of the bible is wrong. Plus, she knows not all christians are awful. But her family…
She doesn’t like her family. They are pretty bad people. They are the type of hardcore chirstians who believe in conversion therapy, and believe that anyone who’s not white is a criminal and that being anything but straight and cis is a sin. They believe in the death penalty as well, and that they can teach things through violence. 
She doesn’t think that necessarily makes them christian, but they use the Bible as an excuse, a get out of jail free card if you will. 
She wishes they weren’t her family. 
“Teresa! We have to go!” Her mom calls from downstairs, and she shudders. 
She wishes he could tell you she has a sister named Teresa, but she can’t. She’s Teresa. And it’s time for her first day of bible study (all ages welcome). She has to go at least once a week. 
“Coming mother!” She calls back, slipping her backpack over her shoulder, and rushing down the stairs. 
When her mom sees her, she scowls. “Teresa! What did I tell you about wearing shorts and t-shirts like that! You’re going to a church, you have to wear formal clothing!” She exclaims, grabbing Teresa by the ear, and starting to drag her upstairs. 
“Mother, we’re gonna be late!” She exclaims back, hoping that will make it so she doesn’t have to change into a frilly dress or something girly.
She falters, then sighs, letting go. “Get to the car. And do something with your hair.” She hisses, and Teresa obeys. 
She slides into the back seat, pulling out a hair tie and pulling his unruly curls into a ponytail. Her curls are more towards the bottom 2 thirds of her hair, but it is still unruly and gets tangled easily.
Her mom gets into the front, and the drive is silent. She drops her off, giving her a small lecture on how to act and how to be. Then she is off, leaving her alone.
Teresa sighs, hiking her bag higher up on her shoulder, then heads inside the church. It’s called Prime Church for some reason he doesn’t understand. This isn’t their normal church, but their normal one doesn’t have a Youth Group and many parents recommended this one, so here she is. 
She pulls out a baggy sweatshirt from her bag, pulling it on, and then heading inside. She doesn’t really like her boobs, which are average size and pretty easy to see. She really doesn’t like that, especially when the boys at school stare at them, so she likes to wear baggy clothes that don’t accent them.
She doesn’t really like being a girl, she thinks, but there’s nothing she can do about that. As her parents have said, she’s a girl, and that is all she will ever be. Though that doesn’t mean she has to force herself to look like a stereotypical barbie girl like her parents expect her to look like. She does not want to look like her older sister who is 17 and looks like a slut on a stick ready to be taken away by a boy. 
When she enters the church, the lobby is really big. She blinks, surprised. She didn’t realize how big the church was. There’s a sign which points to where she’s supposed to go, down the left hall and down 4 doors on the right. She follows the instructions, checking the time to see she is 5 minutes early. She enters the room, and waiting in there are 3 others. 
One is clearly an older adult even with how they are shorter than her. They have shoulder length blond hair with icy blue eyes (similar to hers), and pale skin. They wear a thin short sleeved green jacket type of thing that is cinched together over a black long sleeved shirt, black pants to match. They wear sandals on their feet, a white and green striped bucket hat on their head, and a black jacket that has red designs and is only as long as the middle of their chest over everything else. 
The other 2 are young adults by the looks of them. One of them has hip length pink hair (obviously dyed) that is put in a braid, and wears a red zip up hoodie (black sleeves) with a crown design on it as well as jeans. Their shoes are black platform boots that are right above their ankle in length and have buckles instead of laces. Their skin is as pale as the adult, and their eyes are so deep brown they look slightly red in certain lights. The other one has short fluffy looking brown hair, light brown eyes, and their skin isn’t as pale as the other 2, but still pale. They wear a yellow sweater underneath an ankle length brown trench coat, jeans, and there’s a white streak in their hair. Their shoes are black converse, and there’s a red beanie nestled over their fluffy hair. 
Teresa doesn’t think she’s ever had this much envy for someone with how they look before. 
The older adults’ eyes snap to her when the door opens, and they smile softly. 
“Hello, are you here for bible study?” They ask kindly. 
Teresa nods. “Yeah, sorry I’m a bit early.” She replies politely, trying to remember to act just like her mother taught her. 
“It’s alright! I’m Phil, he/him. These are my children,” he gives the 2 young adults a pointed look. 
The brown haired one sighs. “I’m Wilbur, he/they/she.” He introduces himself, running a hand through his hair that’s not covered by his beanie. 
“Techno, they/it/xe.” The pink haired one introduces themself, giving a small wave, before turning back to a book that Teresa had just noticed they had. 
“I’m Teresa, she/her.” She introduces herself, holding back a wince. 
Phil tilts his head, before nodding. “Come on in! We’re just waiting for the others. There’s a lot of them, and since you're new, we’re going to just play some games today, that sound alright?” 
Teresa tilts her head, sitting down in one of the open chairs. “Aren’t we here to learn about god n shit?” She asks, confused. 
“Phil just wants us to get to know each other first, create a safe environment for each other.” Techno explains, closing xyr book just as the door to the room opens again. 
The next 10 minutes are a blur for Teresa. She’s only brought back to the present by Phil clapping his hands to gather everyone’s attention. There’s a shit ton of new people in the room now, and Teresa is nervous. She’s never had the best experience with people, whether that be because people were after her for her artificial looks her mom gave her every morning or because they bullied her, she’s never really liked people.
“Okay! Everybody, we have someone new joining us-” Phil starts, but someone cuts him off. 
“We can all tell Phil, we’ve never had someone new join for 3 years.” Teresa turns to see an older teen (maybe 17 or 18?) with brown skin, eyes the color of diamonds, and dark brown hair that seems to fly upwards in the front.
Phil laughs, not bothered by the interruption. Teresa is a bit confused, her parents would’ve scolded anyone who interrupts them, whether an adult, kid, or teen. 
“You’re right Skeppy. And because it’s been so long, we’re gonna spend today getting to know each other. You all know the drill. Eret, start us off please, then we’ll go row by row.”
In the back there had been a person who was slouching, and they sit up straight now. Their sunglasses are their defining accessory, and they look really cool, dressed up in a pink strawberry dress, and long black high heel boots. Their hair is short and brown, plus there is a pink flower crown nestled on their head.
“Hello, I’m Eret, any and all pronouns, and I love to sew.” Their voice is deep but soft. It sounds nice in Teresa’s ears.
They go around the room, and Teresa makes sure to pay attention to each introduction.
There’s Ponk who uses any pronouns, and is going to college so she can be a doctor. 
Sam who uses he/they/ex (ex/exm/explode/explosions/exmself), and is 3 years off from being an architect. 
Puffy who uses she/bay/baa, and baa is the co-teacher with Phil, plus baa has 2 wives (wives pog). 
Minx uses xe/eni (eni/enis/eniself) pronouns, and she is one of Puffy’s wives, as well as a para educator for young special needs kids. 
Niki (who is very pretty in Teresa’s opinion) uses fir/sea/shell pronouns, is the 3rd wife in their poly trio, and owns a bakery downtown (Niki says she should visit with a wink). 
Jack Manifold uses he/him pronouns, and is very much obsessed with James from Pokemon (as he says himself, which makes Tommy chuckle). 
Fundy (fox boy, or furry as another teen called him) uses he/they pronouns, and proudly states he is the best hacker in the state for his age group (Teresa assumes between 15 and 19). 
5up uses they/fern/ha (ha/hib/bis/cus/hibiscuself) pronouns, and is the one who makes sure the community greenhouse is in shape with Hannah. 
Hannah uses she/rose/haw (haw/hawth/thor/thorn/hawthornself or hawthself) pronouns, and with 5up keeps the greenhouse in shape and is the one who delivers flowers around the town every holiday with help from some of roses friends that aren’t there. 
Purpled (who Teresa thinks is secretly an alien /hj) uses star/they pronouns, and star is her age (15), as well as apparently in her biology class.
Tubbo uses he/nuke/bee pronouns, and really likes explosions (Teresa remembers nuke, nuke blew up half of the chemistry lab in middle school and made it so Teresa didn’t have to take that class for half the year). 
There’s Ranboo who uses they/it/end/voi pronouns, and really likes astrology as well as musicals (Teresa vaguely remembers them from PE one year cause they ended up quitting in the middle of the first day for being forced to be a boy in the eyes of school).
Karl uses they/it/cry (cry/cryp/crys/cryself) pronouns, and it is in a polycule with 6 others (4 romantic, and 2 platonic). 
Quackity uses he/she/they/duck/ve pronouns, is part of the polycule, and she is also head of the gambling club at school (which is known as the math club, which makes sense to Teresa since she had never heard of the gambling club before).
Sapnap is also part of the polycule, has a thing for fire for some reason, and uses he/fire/flame/spark pronouns. 
Dream is head of the gaming club, which they co run with George, both who are part of the polycule. Dream uses they/blob/ze pronouns, and George uses they/faer/she/arca (arca/arcan/arcas/arcaself). 
There’s Skeppy (the one who interrupted Phil earlier) who uses they/it/dia (dia/diam/diams/diamself) pronouns, and is a senior who likes to incite chaos. 
Bad is very nice and never curses, plus loves muffins, and uses the pronouns dem/demons, de/dev/devil/devils/devilself, and it/its. 
Eryn uses he/they pronouns, and is British (basic bitch is Teresa’s first thought, but she doesn’t say anything out loud). 
Hbomb is a prankster with a tendency to pretend to be a cat maid, and uses he/they/bo (bo/bomb/bombs/bombs/bombself) pronouns.
Drista claims she is chaos incarnate, and uses she/they/mask pronouns. 
Phil explains that there used to be a few others, but Phil says they had to move for college and so forth. At that, Wilbur looks down sadly, but Teresa chooses not to question it for their own privacy. 
Then it’s her turn. 
She waves at everybody, giving a small smile. “I’m Teresa, she/her pronouns, and I like to sew like Eret.” She introduces herself, bringing her legs up to sit cross legged on her chair. 
She gets a wave of “Hello’s” and “Nice to meet you’s” and so forth, and she grins brightly at everything. It feels nice to be here, surrounded by people who aren’t judging or making fun of her (maybe not yet) and the discomfort under her skin dies down, but doesn’t fully go away (it never goes away no matter how comfortable she seems to be). 
“Okay, since it’s a chill day and we still have tons of time left, we’re going to play a game. Anyone know how to play the snowball activity?” Phil takes direction of the room again. 
Wilbur and Techno’s hands go up simultaneously, but everyone else is confused. 
Phil chuckles. “Okay, basically, you write 3 facts onto a piece of paper and then crumple it up. After everyone is done with that, we’re gonna have a snowball fight for a minute, and then once I say stop, you all need to pick up one of the papers. Then you will find the person who’s paper you picked up, bring them to the front, and tell everybody the list of facts. Understand?” 
“We’re not children Phil, we don’t need you babying us.” Quackity speaks up, head leaned against Sapnap’s shoulder. 
“I know that mate, I’m just giving instructions. Puffy’s gonna pass out papers, by the way.” Phil replies with a lighthearted eye roll. 
Teresa doesn’t think she’s seen any of the adults in her life be so… not tense(?). Her parents are always rigid and tense, their friends always mean and stiff. The ones there are just so… casual. They aren’t mean when someone interrupts them, they aren’t screaming at the slightest scent of disobedience, they aren’t anything like Teresa is used to. She’s confused by it, but also she likes it. She doesn’t feel as pressured to be perfect. 
They go through the icebreaker easily, and it’s been about 40 minutes by the time it’s Teresa’s turn to pull up the person who’s paper she picked up (she hasn’t been pulled up by hers either). 
Teresa grabs Jack’s arm, tugging him slightly so he will follow her. He rolls his eyes behind his red and blue 3d glasses, but follows her upfront. She stands beside him proudly, he’s 5’8” and she’s 6”, which makes her giggle at their height difference. 
She unfolds his paper (she had folded it after reading it the first time), and clears her throat. 
“Jack has a dog, he’s British fuck yeah, and he says he’s basically James from Pokemon.” Teresa grins as Jack’s eyes widen. 
“Hey! That’s not my last fact!” Jack exclaims, and Teresa can tell he’s not really angry. 
Teresa shrugs. “Bitch, I know how to read.” 
Jack scowls lightheartedly. “It literally says I’m bald.” 
Teresa frowns. “But we can see that, and that makes it fucking boring.”
Jack rolls his eyes, and they move to sit down. It takes 2 others before (surprisingly) Eret is dragging Teresa up with her paper crumbled in their hands. 
She clears her throat, uncrumpling Teresa’s paper, and starting to read the 3 facts with her deep voice.
“Teresa is a Freshman, she wishes her mom would let her have short hair cause her curls are hard to manage most of the time, and she absolutely hates school.” Eret is grinning the whole time as he reads it before handing the paper back to Teresa. 
Teresa smiles widely at them, flashing her teeth before going back to sit down. 
Techno (who sits behind her) leans forwards, and quietly says “I can give you some tips with your hair,” before leaning back. 
Teres turns, staring into its eyes as she nods happily, flashing another smile with teeth. Techno gives a slight smile in return, and Teresa turns back towards the front. 
“Okay! Since we only have 15 minutes left, Phil and I decided that we’re just gonna socialize for the next quarter hour. After that you have to leave the room, but not the church necessarily.” Puffy speaks up. 
The room instantly turns into a crazed buzz of voices, and Teresa wishes she had brought headphones. The noise hurts her ears, especially since she doesn’t have a conversation of her own to focus on instead of all of it. 
She’s relieved when Drista, Tubbo, Ranboo, and Purpled move their chairs to form a semi circle in front of her. 
“‘ello Teresa.” Tubbo says with a grin. 
Hearing her name from nukes mouth sounds… wrong to her, for some reason. It’s not even the type of wrong like it’s just somebody new saying it or someone with an accent or something. It’s just… wrong. Makes her want to curl up into a ball for days. Makes her want to hide her body, hide herself. Makes her not feel right. 
She shoves it down, forcing a grin. 
“Ayup bitches!” She replies.
“We are all fellow freshmen, and we have noticed you in some of our classes, so it’s nice to finally meet you.” Ranboo replies with a smile, ends face open. 
Teresa nods. “Nice to meet you guys too. Way different than I expected today to go though.” 
“How so?” Drista inquires, head tilted, masks emotions unreadable. 
“Honestly? I expected to walk in here and be forced to learn the bible right off the fucking bat. Not that there’s anything wrong with the bible, just not my thing.” Teresa explains. 
“You’ll like Phil and Puffy. We don’t really learn the exact bible, we learn the modernized lessons from the bible. Like, be thankful for the good in your life. It’s a lesson they are teaching directly from the bible, but they won’t force us to go and read anything from the bible besides a few short scriptures, if that.” Purpled replies. 
Teresa’s eyes light up. “Yo, that’s so fucking pog!”
And it is. Her parents would’ve just given her exact books from the bible to read, expect her to read it, then quiz her on it until she had it down. 
She spends the rest of the time chilling with them before she heads out. Just like she expected, her mom is already waiting. There are a few other cars in the parking lot, but Teresa ignores them, sliding into the backseat again. She buckles up, and waits patiently for her mother to force her to talk about it.  
“How was it? I hope you acted like a proper lady.” 
Teresa forces herself to sit with her legs crossed at the ankles, back straight, just like expected. “It was fun, mother. I learned a lot of new things, and made friends with some of the others who were there, there were even some teens my age.” She chooses her words carefully, making sure she doesn’t give away anything unnecessary that will make her mother want to pull her out of it. 
She feels safe there, which is more than she can say about anywhere else. 
“That’s good. What did you learn?” 
“We read Daniel, learning about Shadrach, Meshack, and Abednego, and King Nebuchadnezzar. We hadn’t gotten that far in the Bible yet, so it was very educational.” 
Teresa can see her mother’s smile in the rearview mirror. “That’s good. Don’t forget to make dinner once you get home, but first you have to change. I have to go pick up some things, but by the time I get back, your father should be digging into a perfect salad and steak, understood?” 
Teresa nods. “Understood mother.”
She drops her off, and Teresa sighs as she enters the house. Her dad isn’t home, probably out with some chick or something. She reluctantly lugs herself upstairs, changing into a knee length black skirt, and a black blouse to match. She then walks downstairs, slipping on her wireless earbuds and turning on her music through her phone. 
She puts on an apron over her clothes, and starts to pull out the ingredients for the salad. She has around 3 hours to make dinner, which means she can make the salad and then the steak. 
She starts with the eggs, pulling out the fresh ones and then putting a pot of water on to boil. Just as she starts to pull out the ham, her phone starts vibrating. She pulls it out to see a Discord call from a group chat she had started with her fellow freshman earlier in bible study. She answers right away, setting down her phone and continuing to cook. 
“Ayup.” She says, pulling out a knife and a cutting board so she can cut the ham into tiny pieces. 
“Boss woman! How are you?” Tubbo greets. 
“Bitch, it’s been 20 minutes, I’m the same as I was earlier.” She snarks out lightheartedly. It’s a bit of a lie, but that doesn’t matter. 
“Be nice Teresa.” Ranboo scolds through her earbuds. 
“Shut up Ranboob.” She mutters, finishing cutting the ham and scraping it off of the cutting board into the salad bowl. 
“I- That’s not my name!” Ranboo cries out, and Teresa can practically hear vois pout. 
“It should be.” Drista replies easily making Teresa giggle as she pulls out the lettuce next. 
She gets to work to continue with the salad, listening to her friends talk and banter lightheartedly, joining in once and awhile. Eventually they end up on the topic of gender as she starts on making the steak. 
“Gender sucks.” Ranboo moans out, and Teresa can hear is ends chair squeaking as end spins in ends chair. 
“It does! And don’t get me fucking started on pronouns, it’s terrible. Especially since your pronouns correlate to your gender but also don’t equal it.” Tubbo replies. 
“Gender talks are the best, but the gender feels hurt.” Drista sums up. 
Teresa pauses. “Can I ask something?” She says quietly, a tiny part of her hoping that no one hears her cause her mic didn’t pick up what she said.
Her hopes are crushed. 
“Yeah, sure Teresa.” Purpled replies, stars tone sounding tired. 
“Um…” she trails off, taking a moment to think of how to phrase it. “Can you tell me more about neopronouns? I’m not positive on how they work.” She asks, hands fiddling where she continues to work on the steak. 
“Oh! Yeah, of course!” Ranboo replies. “It’s not that hard, but it’s also not that easy. Basically, you would use them in place of regular pronouns, like he, she, and they. I could give an example?” 
“Yes please.” Teresa says. 
“Okay, let’s take basic neos. There’s xe/xem/xyr/xemself. Xe is like he, xem is like him, xyr is like his, and xemself is like himself. In a sentence, it would be like this; This is Techno. Xe is a senior, and xyrs favorite pastime is reading the Art of War. I’ve known xem for a few years now, and xe tends to be by xemself.” Ranboo explains. 
Teresa nods, taking a few moments by humming to wrap her head around it.
“That’s cool.” She says, moving to sit on the ground in the corner while waiting for the steak to cook. She’s not allowed to sit at the table. 
“Right! And if you don’t understand any neos, you can always ask the person how to use them or ask one of us.” Ranboo replies. 
“I’m just glad I haven’t fucked any of them up so far.” Teresa says honestly. 
“It’s okay to make mistakes, everyone makes them.” Purpled sounds far from stars mic as star speaks. 
“Yeah, I just always feel bad. Especially since my parents don’t respect neos, so I don’t feel like asking them for help.” Teresa leans her back against the wall behind her, ignoring the uncomfortable itch under her skin per usual. 
“Well, you can always talk to us.” Drista says kindly. 
“Thanks. I have to go now though, my parents will be home soon for dinner.” She says, leaning her head back forward, her thumb hovering over the hang up button.
She gets a goodbye from everybody, and then she hangs up, standing up to quickly finish making dinner. 
And life goes on.
The more she goes to bible study, the more the itch gets worse. It’s always there now, always pushing against her skin, begging to be seen. She starts to get more upset with her body, wearing more baggy clothes even though it upsets her parents. She stuffs sweatshirts and sweats into her backpack, always changing clothes in the bathroom at school and then changing back once she gets home. 
The itch gets so bad she starts to actually itch at her skin. Long red marks go up and down her arms and legs from her scratching and scratching. It hurts but it alleviates the itch for a bit. It doesn’t make everything better, but it gives her reprieve. 
She learns more about the people around her, and she starts to consider them close friends (dare she think family). It’s just so easy with them. She doesn’t cringe as hard when they say her name or use she/her. She doesn’t mind when they refer to her as a girl or suggest different clothes and stuff. 
She thinks it's cause they don’t know.
The only ones who really do are her parents (there was an incident once when she was younger). And they don’t accept her, so she hasn’t really told anyone else. She shoved it all down because she has to be the perfect little girl for her family to love her. It’s unnatural for her to want to be anything other than a girl.
That’s what she used to think, but being with them at bible study makes her think twice. She had never ever judged anyone else, she just couldn’t herself because that is what is expected of her. But they make the ugly feelings all come roaring up in her and make themselves known. They make her want to scream from the rooftops how she doesn’t feel right but she has to be cause that is what her parents want. They make her want to reevaluate her life, make her want to see who she can truly be. 
But she can’t. So she shoves it down harder when the feelings rear their ugly head, shoves it down when the itch appears, shoves it down when she doesn’t feel like a she. Cause going down that road will lead to pain and heartache. 
It all comes crashing down around her one Wednesday night. 
It’s about an hour until she’ll be leaving for bible study. She’s thrown on a baggy sweatshirt that’s Valkyrae merch over a white t-shirt and black sweats. She’s writing out her homework (an essay on her favorite book).
Her door suddenly slams open, and she flinches, turning to see her mom. She’s isn’t mad or sad, but she’s also not happy. 
“Teresa, change, now.” She demands. 
Teresa fidgets, but obeys. She’s been getting better at getting her mom to ignore her enough so she doesn’t have to be all preppy at bible study, but she knew it would catch up to her. She walks to the closet, shifting through her clothing, trying to find her least attention seeking dress. 
“Wear the white one with the sparkly bodice, and the skirt that flares.” 
She nods, pulling it out as well as leggings, but her mom clicks her tongue. “The short shorts.” 
She nods, grabbing those, and slipping into her personal bathroom to change. She pulls it on slowly, wincing repeatedly everytime she sees her reflection. She had slipped in one of her dress jackets, it’s black with long sleeves, wool, and doesn’t go down past her waist. 
She hates her reflection, so she forces herself to walk out. When her mom sees her, she grins. 
“I’m sitting in with you today at bible study, by the way, and you will be wearing this.” She states, then walks out. 
Teresa is shocked, eyes wide. 
“Wait!” She calls, rushing out after her. She grabs her mom’s arm to make her stop, which she does with a scowl. 
“What?” Her mom snarks. 
“Why are you sitting in?” Teresa asks, trying to hide her fear. 
“You’ve been very different ever since you joined the group. Your father and I don’t like it, so I’m going to see what the hell this group is doing to you.” She snaps, then walks off. 
The next hour is spent curled up in her desk chair, letting her tears fall. She stops them before they have to leave, slipping on her Converse and grabbing her bag before heading downstairs. Her bag is a bit bigger than usual, packed with her computer, charger, 2 sets of clothes, her phone charger, earbuds, and a few other sentimental things she’s gotten the past few months are bible study. It’s just in case she has to run away from her mom and dad.
In the car she pulls up her group chat. 

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