Still With You | BTS (Bangtan Sonyeondan) : A Sequel to 'Euphoria'

"I Don't Know How You Do It, But I'm Forever Ruined By You..."

Listen To: 'Off My Face' by Justin Bieber
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An hour and 2 orgasms later, Taehyung, Jimin and I are joined on Jimin's bed by Jungkook and Hobi. We're watching a movie, basking in the sheer joy of just being able to do nothing together.  They all lay around me; Jungkook's head is draped over my lap as I play with his hair, Hoseok is leaning against my shoulder his hand holding mine. Jimin is sitting behind me, leaning his back against the headboard as I'm leaned back against him. Every few minutes, he will whisper an 'I love you' in my ear and you'd think I'd tire from hearing it but I don't, never. Taehyung is at the end of the bed, my feet propped against his chest. I live for moments like this; the one's where we are doing absolutely nothing but mundane and 'normal' things like watching movies and cuddling.

Namjoon, Seokjin and Yoongi walk in with boxes of take out, too lazy to even go to the kitchen;  they distribute plates as we dig in. We start to talk about what our plans are going to be for the next two days and everyone has a million ideas. We decide that tomorrow, we will have a beauty and grooming day (they've asked the stylist team to come in to give us all haircuts and update colors), then we will have lunch and chill by the pool and then Seokjin has arranged for us to do a makeup for the dinner we were supposed to have 12 weeks ago. I am a little apprehensive and nervous but I'm excited to get dressed up and go to on a fancy date.

After we eat, we're all watching a new movie on the tv, the warmth of their bodies surrounding mine. I'm in complete heaven. I feel fingers graze across my cheek and look to see Yoongi motions his head to the door as he gets up and walks out. I pull myself off of Jimin and let the others know that I'll be right back. As I jump over hit body and before I place my feet on the ground, Namjoon pulls me toward him and kisses me. I feel his tongue drag across my bottom lip and a breathy moan escapes me. He pulls away, leaving me desperate for more. I let out a loud groan and scrunch my nose at him as I pull off and land my feet on the ground and I walk out of the room; his laugh following behind me.

I head to Yoongi's room and walk in to see him sitting on the end of the bed, leaned over, cracking his knuckles. He looks nervous. I lean against the door frame and watch him. I can't stop staring at him; memories of the first day I met him flood my mind. He was such a mystery but I was so intrigued. From that first day, I knew he was going to be special, knew that he was meant to be mine. Everything that I do, every decision I make, every goal for my future, every single fiber in my body is for him and because of him. I can not imagine my life without him and as much as I question how much he actually loves me and if he feels the same way I do, I can't fathom not loving him. He is my actual soul mate. The love of my life.

He looks up to see me standing there and I see his eyes light up. His hand motion for me to go to him as I push off the door frame and walk to him. I reach him and sit down next to him on the bed. I lean my head on his shoulder and feel him lean his head against mine and sighs.

"Do you want to talk about why you were upset at me yesterday?" He asks me. I pull off of him and look at him.

"How did you know?" I ask him. He turns his face to me.

"You do this thing when you're upset where you push people away and that's okay, but I want to make sure that after you've had time to process, we can talk about whatever it was," he says with a small smile. His hands reaches out for mine and interlaces our fingers as I take a deep breath.

"Yesterday when Jimin video called me, I was able to talk to everyone except you. After the phone was passed around, Jimin took the phone back and I saw you in the background. With Nabi," I say and he nods, his eyes never leaving mine and his thumb stroking the back of my hand. "I saw that she had her hands up your shirt which is, whatever, it's her job and I assumed she was mic'ing you up, It wasn't that part that rubbed me the wrong way, it was just how she was speaking to you, looking up to you, I have no idea what she was saying to you but her face was lit up. She was smiling at you and it seemed like you were smiling at her and then, I don't know what she said but you both started laughing and she leaned into you and she leaned her head into your chest and I just— I lost it," I tell him. "It made me so mad and jealous and I get it, relationships with other women happen and I completely understand but in that moment, the fact that it was her and she has disrespected me before, I just, I couldn't process it in a rational way. I just— I had to get off the phone. I was just so mad at her, not you necessarily. I just hate that I've expressed that she crosses the line and she still did it and with you this time.  Then I came home and your mom and I had a conversation and randomly about jealousy and how I felt about everything and she said something to me that resonated with me. She said that sometimes what we see isn't what we perceive and it dawned on me that I need to give you the benefit of the doubt and just trust you. I love you more than you can ever imagine and I just, I'm insecure and afraid and jealous and I'm sorry," I finish telling him. He looks at me and brings his hand up to my face, his thumb running under my eye to catch the tears before they fall.