"Now You Can Lean On Me, I'm Always By Your Side..."

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Listen To: "Mama" by BTS
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[Please assume all conversations are in Korean]

"So, tell me," she begins, "how did this all begin?" She asks. We are sitting in the library room; each of us on one of the armchairs, facing each other. I try not to look scared or intimidated but I am. I'm scared out of my mind but I want to express how I feel in the best way possible.

I let out a sigh, trying to think clearly and rationally at how to respond to her; trying to wrack my brain to form cohesive and intelligent thoughts in Korean, making sure Jungkook's Eomma doesn't think I'm disrespectful or rude.

"Well, as you know, I started working for the company as a photographer for tour and it was obvious from very early on that Jungkook and I had a connection," I tell her, softly. "It started off friendly, he was just so kind;  so nice to me. He was always making sure I was feeling included and not feeling left out. He would share music with me, help me with translating and teaching me about the culture. He was such a good guy." I begin. "Not long after, we started to get to know each other better, and things changed; our feelings grew. He was the first. He was the one that I fell for first," I explain to her.

"What happened? What made things change?" She asks me softly.

"From the very beginning he felt comfortable enough to open up to me. I'm not sure if he just needed someone to listen, to trust, or what but he dropped those walls with me. He felt at ease around me enough to show me who he really was, not just as Jeon Jungkook, Golden Maknae from BTS; he showed me Jungkookie—flawed, anxious, scared, delicate. We found solace in each other; finding someone we each knew we could concede to. He made me feel safe; safe enough to break down my own barriers and confide in him as well. He took the pieces of me that were shattered from previous heartache, years of self-loathing and feelings of unworthiness and he put me back together," I say. She looks at me and I'm not familiar with the subtitles of her facial expressions to read how she's feeling.

"At any point, did you ever think that it was wrong?" her tone is lighter and more curious, not a single shred of anger.

"it never truly felt 'wrong', just scary. Although, I tried to stop it. I truly did; he can attest to that. I just didn't think he was ready for a relationship but he was determined to prove me wrong and he did. He showed me just how much he wanted to be with me and I couldn't deny that I really wanted to be with him. I love him, I've loved him from the moment I met him," I tell her honestly. I know speaking about feelings like this isn't something that's done a lot here but I need her to know how much he means to me.

"When did the others come along?" She asks.

"It was a natural progression, Yoongi came right after Jungkook. Then Taehyung, then the rest followed suite," I explain.

"But just— why all of them? Was having just one of them not enough?" She questions.

"As I got to know them, they each offered me something unique. Each one of them completes me in ways I can not describe. They are embedded so deeply in me; I love them individually and I love them as a unit.," I reply. If it was any other person, I'd feel a little defensive about the questions I'm being asked ; feeling like I need to prove why I love them and why it's okay to love all of them, but I owe her an explanation.

"How do you all plan on making this work?" She asks.

"We don't have a set plan and we know this is non-conventional. We know this is strange and no one understands it, but we do. We truly and genuinely are so happy. We love each other and are committed to each other and want to spend the rest of our lives together. the love they had before I came along, their brotherhood, their bond, was already special. They knew before I even entered the picture that they wanted to be together platonically, as Bangtan and as individuals until the ends of their days. When I came along, it just made sense to us," I try and explain the best way I knew how.

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