Bittersweet | GonKillu

Oblivious x to x death

"... hey quick question" I look up at Killua as I ask, "what's your sexuality?"

He froze and stared at the wall, "oh uh... why?" He murmured, and I smile and poke him jokingly, "Because I want to know!! I'm personally Pansexual, or atleast I think-" I trail off, thinking. If it excludes women, then does that mean I'm not pan, but bi with a male preference? Or... ugh this is too much thinking, Aunt Mito said I'm probably pansexual so I'm going with it. People in general, I dont care who I'm with on a date. But, like in terms of attraction? Men👌

I look up at Killua, and nod to myself. I definitely like guys, they are just so... I dunno, hot. I always find myself going threw magazines and cut out pictures of model boys and scrap them together in my diary- I'm not ashamed to say that I have more then one picture of Killua in there. He sometimes models for fun and he thinks I dont know, but oh I do.

"Gon. GON-" Killua poked my face and I look at him and stick out my tongue, "oh sorry killua-" he rolls his eyes and responds to my previous question, "I dunno I guess... I'm gay." He blushes and looks away. I tilt my head with a smile, "O h? What's gay-" He cocked his head towards me, "Wha- you dont know what gay means-??" He said in awe and surprise, and I sheepishly nod.

"Sorry if that's a bad thing..." I laugh awkwardly to myself, and he shakes the look of shock off his face and just laughs, "Wow- uh it's when men like men, I guess" "O h?" I smile and sit on his lap, "You like men~?" I tease, and he squeals and pushes me off of him, blushing a deep crimson and quickly puts a pillow on his lap and hugs it, hiding his blushing face in the white fluffy fabric "Y-YOU CANT JUST DO THAT-" Killua protested at me and I just giggled, he should know I'm just playing. "Oh Killua- I'm just joking!" I smile at him and he just grumbles and hugs the pillow more.

I soften my expression into slight concern, "Wait, did I make you feel bad..?" I ask quietly, "I'm sorry..." he mumbled something into the pillow which I couldn't hear, and I sigh quietly and get off the floor and walk out of my room to the bakery below. Did I go too far? I probably shouldn't tease anymore, we are getting older and i have a crush now, i cant just keep..... The words of kids in school roll threw my head, "Oh stop being so affectionate, your leading him on" "That nobody is just going to get hurt when you dont like him" "Friends dont flirt with friends"

... Maybe I am leading him on, I... I dont want to hurt him, that's the absolute last thing I'd ever want to do. He always seems kind of uncomfortable when I tease him, I.. should stop. I grab a warm cherry pastry from the warming shelf and bite into it, I eat when I'm worried or anxious. I sigh and look down, maybe he does like me and will get hurt because I like Chat instead of him- Ok, I decided that I'm going to stop trying to make Killu flustered and just tone it down, it's getting too close to actual flirting anyways and... I just want him happy.

A part of me just wants to keep going, out of a curious feeling. Why? So I can just hurt him? I'm not going to hurt him, he's the most precious thing to me. I finish my pastry and walk back upstairs to my room and I see that Killua isnt even here- oh. But then I walk over to the window and see a- WAIT DAMN IT THERE IS A AKUMATIZED BOY OUT THERE-

Talking to Killua will have to wait, I need to save Paris!