Bittersweet | GonKillu

Confessions x and x repressions

I awoke quietly, my head cushioned by something soft. As my senses slowly became aware, I noticed a sense of warmth embracing me. I gently fluttered my eyes open and I saw Killua gently petting my head with his hands and looking at me sadly. He had my head resting gently on his lap, holding one of my hands softly. I blinked a few times, and gently grabbed his other hand with mine as well. He exclaimed softly and smiled glumly. "Killua? What- what happened..?" I inquired softly, scanning his face. I scowled quietly, noticing a forming bruise on his neck. I gently sat up and noticed his arms were also bruised.

"Hey it's- nothing bad.. ok?" He chuckled awkwardly, sliding down his sleeves as far as he could. I was mostly in disbelief that someone as strong as Killua got hurt- then I realized the circumstances we were in. I was about to ask about my watch, but Killua beat me to it and placed it softly into my palm. I sighed in relief, but then grimaced. He fought those adults to get my watch back..? He got hurt because of me? I looked at Killua, "... Take off your shirt" I demand, and he gasped in confusion, "what-??" "Do it." I demand again, and he gulped quietly and undressed his top. I knew it...

There were bruises scattered across his abdomen, and it looked like one of the hits tore open a old wound because it softly bled. ".... Look it's not as bad as it looks- I'm fine, ok?" He brushed off, reaching to put his shirt back on. I stopped him, and instead got up to my locker and pulled out my emergency First AID kit. Killua gulped quietly and shook his head in detest, "No really I'm fine Gon" he chuckled sheepishly but I was not budging on the matter. He needs attention. I sighed deeply and began to tend to his wounds, wrapping up his torso and arm. He whined in detest.

After I was done, I grabbed Killuas hand and placed a pitiful kiss onto it. He gulped quietly and still avoided eye contact. "... Don't fight for me. These are my battles." I reminded him, while holding his hand. He grumbled to himself and ignored my advice. I exhaled deeply and stood up, offering my hand for him to grab. He did so, and I pulled him up silently. "Come on. Let's just go home" I said quietly, and Killua nodded. I grabbed his hands and kept him close to me, those bitches hurt my Killua. Next time I'm here, they will suffer. As we walked out of the dojo we saw that the rained cleared out and there were still small puddles present welcoming children to pounce onto them.

We walked home silently, and up to my room. He layed onto my bed, and I curled up next to him. He shuffled away slightly, but I pressed up against him in a soft embrace, I won't let him get hurt anymore. I placed protective and tending kisses on his back, wanting him to feel safe. "... I'll always protect you, ok? Not matter what the hell you say afterwards.." he started, hugging my arms around him, "... I can't loose you. So I'll fight for my best friend" he concluded softly. And I had no response, only to cuddle him close and lovingly.

"... am I a burden?" I asked softly, and Killua shook his head, "No of course not- why would you think that?" " ... Well you didn't want me here firstly, then you followed me out of pity and then because I got into a fight you got hurt" I said painfully, and Killua turned around to face me and cupped my face in his soft damaged hands, "... Your worth everything I do, Gon. I.. love you. Ok..?" He confessed softly but I didn't respond. He's never said that before. Does he mean it? "... You sure..?" I asked quietly, leaning towards his face and looking at his eyes expectantly, he got flustered and gulped. "A-as friends- l-like you always say.." he said quietly in a anxious whisper, worried he exposed his unrequited crush.

I dimmed my eyes, "Oh ok.." I said quietly. I know I have a boyfriend but... for some reason hearing what I always say to Killua about just being friends made my heart ache like being rejected. Why do I feel this way? Of course he ment it as friends, I love him as one- so why do I feel so detached now? I slanted my eyes and pulled Killua slowly into a hug, hiding my face in his shoulder. He was silent but hugged me back, both of us locked in a bittersweet embrace. Today really is something.... It's around 7:58pm right now. We missed our window for our date. Maybe it just wasn't fate after all.

I was about to say something, but Killua pushed me away slightly and looked at my face, eyes anxious but determined, "Gon... I realize that what I said was.... far from what I meant. I said 'as friends' as a defensive response and... well.." he gulped quietly, words struggling to get out of his mouth. I gently pet the side of his cheek with the back of my hand and gave him an encouraging smile. "Go on Killua" I said softly, and he smiled at that. "Well... what I'm saying is that... when I'm with you... well..." he said, awkwardly but smiling neither the less and looking into my eyes softly.

".... Gon, I appreciate all the time we have togeather, I have know you for 9 years now and I couldn't dare live without you." He started, gathering confidence, ".. To say that I think of you as just a friend would be the understatement of the whole millennia" he chuckled, wait is he..? "So... I just wanted to say that... your my everything, your smile is sweet like honey, infectious, and your golden brown eyes captivate me every glance.... what I'm trying to say is that...."

".... I love you, Gon Freecss. More then friends. More then family. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to take you on dumb dates, I want to hold your hand in public, I want to wake up to your face every morning. Because Gon, your my light. Your the reason I'm alive. I love you so much" he said, choking up on tears and looking at me with a emotional smile. I paused, in disbelief and shock. What?

.... He confessed..?