Bittersweet | GonKillu

Desire x and x bears

Gon's POV:

I walked down to the kitchen, I guess Aunt Mito isn't awake yet.. Oh well. I open the fridge, I think I heard that Pickle juice helps hangovers? Wouldn't hurt to try... I grab a jar of kosher pickles that was on the third shelf, and took a drink- tastes like pickle water.

I shrug and screw the jar back on and place it back on the shelf in the fridge. Maybe I should check up on Killua.. I was slightly harsh. I head back upstairs and notice a lump in my bed. Oh- I walk over there and notice he was cuddling a pillow sleeping. He's so cute... Wait why am I thinking that, I'm mad at him.

I roll my eyes and lay next to him, staring at his beautiful ivory white hair. Ok I can't handle his good looks- I must- floof- his HAIR- I couldn't hold back the urge anymore and gently placed my hand onto his poof of hair, softttt- Ok maybe I can't stay mad at him... Yeah I forgive him. I giggle to myself and pull his waist close to mine and cuddle his torso with my head in his neck. So warm and comforting...

But I was again reminded of last night when I saw the mark I made on his neck. ... Why did he let me give him a hickey? Doesn't he know that's a possessive thing? Still... why did I? I mean, we made out too... thinking of that made my stomach feel fluttery. I wish next time I would be sober so I could remember it.. But then again this was just me... being... weird and it was a one-time thing.

Still... I do have the desire to do stuff with him.. is that bad? To think like that about your best friend in a revealing way? ... Ugh it probably is... I'm a terrible friend... Killua doesn't ever need to know that I'm attracted to him, and it would only be weird if he did anyways... I feel so... ashamed.. but, if he never finds out about this stuff... then it's fine right?

I inhaled his scent silently, just enjoying the cuddles with my best friend. Then I felt him shift a bit, waking up slightly. Oh shit- well uh... too late to back off. He quietly mumbled to himself, then noticed me and looked around his shoulder with tired eyes. A small smile crawled onto his face, and he flipped around and hugged my chest closely. Aw- I love him when he is all cuddly. My personal pillow, nobody else's.

I just want to tell him I love him every 5 second when he's so soft and cuddly- platonically of course. I gently look up into his eyes and he looks into mine, ".. Hi there" He said tiredly, "Look... Gon... I'm sorry for last night... Its just... well..." He stammered out, looking away. I used my hand to make him look at me, and gave him a gentle reaffirming kiss on the cheek. "Killua it's fine, ok? If we don't talk about it... then it didn't happen, ok?" I smile at him, and he nodded slowly, he looks kind of sad but I can't let us go that far.

I have a boyfriend again, and even though Killua is so damn cute... I can't do anything or let us do anything. Not with a guilt free conscious. I linked my legs with his, and cuddled him close. He did the same and we just layed there in a solem silence. I wish him and I could just... Wait. Ooooh I have an idea! There is a way to where we are still only friends but it excuses anything intimate! We could be friends with benefits! But wait... he probably wouldn't agree. Aw... that was a perfect idea...

I pout to myself, then I remember- oh wait- my birthday is tomorrow- its Saturday right now, so tomorrow is Sunday- hmm... I could just ask for something as a birthday present... no that would be taking advantage of him... um... oh I know- I'll just ask him on a birthday date! Yay! He can choose, and I can have a cute little date with my best friend! Win win situation.

He looked at me with a eyebrow up, "Gon what are you thinking about, weirdo-" He commented, and Inonly giggled in response, "Ah just thinking about a special day!" I hint, and he nods, "Oh ok- well anyways... what do you want to do today? Head into town? Go fishing? Its still the weekend." He offered, and I shrugged, "Maybe... just stay here with me and we can cuddle all day!" I smile, and he sighs, "Gon I don't want to just be in bed all day- I have importaint plans tomorrow." Oh ho ho- birthday plans? Maybe?

I bump my head to his affectionately, "Yes you can! And don't you want to spend time with your best friend~?" I say, as cute as I can to maybe emotionally blackmail him to stay with me all day. He thought for a moment and blushed slightly, "... I guess so.. But Alluka and I had plans for today-" "Cancel them. I want hugs" I chime out, and he looked like he was about to decline, so to ensure he wouldn't, I gave him a soft peck on the lips, and he looked guilty but successfully persuaded, "... Y-yeah yeah ok..." He said quietly, and I hummed in victory.

"Yay- I have Killu to myself~" I purr, cuddling up against him getting as close as I could to truly have him to my lonesome. He whimpered slightly from how close I am but cuddled me back neither the less. "So... I.. um.. what do you want to do since I'm your hostage?" He asked, and I was quiet in though, "hmmm... uh.. we already have a movie night recently... Oh! How about we play board games!" I exclaimed and unclinged from him, bending over and under my bed to pull out my board games. With a grunt I grasped it and pulled out two games. I brought them to the bed and presented them to Killua.

"We have Monopoly, and Life! Which one?" I ask, smiling at Killua. He gazed at both choices, deep in thought. He then nodded and picked Life, "In that one I can go to college- so Life" He concluded, and I put the other game away.

Through the rest of the day, Killua and I played several board games, played Mario kart, and had lunch in the bakery with aunt Mito who made us her famous BLT's. Then after that, we walked through the sidewalks of Paris, just window shopping.

"Oooh look- Look Killua! There's a build-a-bear!" I squealed in excitement, tugging on my best friend sleeve. He looked to the shop and chuckled, "Want me to buy you a bear?" I looked at him with a hopeful smile, "Please, Killua??"

He smiled back and lead us in there, "Sure Gon- Anything for you"