Bittersweet | GonKillu

Resentment x and x entitlement

".. ok that's it I'm putting it back-" He hurried, hiding back into the changing room. I giggled at that, and grab the stuff I want to buy, and as soon as I grab a couple HxH pins from the velvet pin displayer, Killua walks out in his regular clothes out of spit puts the dress where it was on the hook.

He stuck out his tongue at it in victory, and approached me. I was struggling to carry all the stuff, so he helped by grabbing half. I had an idea- I gave him all of it, "Can you please check these out Killua? I have to go to the bathroom-" I dismiss myself before he can question it, and sneak over to where he put the dress back. A mischievous smile creeped onto my face as I grab it, and I hid behind a clothing rack: peeking every once in a while at the check-out and once he was done buying it, he looked around for me. I ducked down-

"Eh guess he is too busy in there. I'll wait" he sighed and walked to the front of the store near the door. I bop my head side to side, secret mission: 'buy the gift for Killua without him knowing or seeing that I bought what I bought because he probably would make me return it because he doesnt want to wear a dress' is a go! Hm.. I also need to work on project, 'think of shorter names for missions'

I hum the theme of Mission Impossible to myself as I take the route out of direct sight from the front- then soon I made it to the cashier. He looked at me, "Ah hello there sir-" "I'm on a secret mission- here ring this up please! Make it a gift" I whisper, sneaking the dress over the counter. The man looked confused but silently rung it up, "... that will be 45 bucks." He said, unamused. I nod and hand it to him, then put the dress in the bag and put the crumpled up paper on top. I then hum to myself as I walk over to meet Killua at the entrance.

He eyed my bag, "What did you buy?" I smiled and shrugged, "Oh wouldn't you like to know, Killua" I teased him, and he sighed, giving up easily since I'm known to not give up in conversations. I grabbed onto his hand, and we walked out to a Burger King. We quietly get in line and kids were running around near the play place-WAIT PLAY PLACE? I WANNA GO-

"Killua Killua Killua Killua Killua Killua-" I bug him with persistent pokes in the shoulder. He sighed, "You wanna go play?" He questioned, and I gasped, "How did you know-??" He smiled and chuckled, putting his arms behind his head, "I know you- now lets go" We put the bags and the frog on a picnic bench table and I began to take off my shoes and socks to go into the kind of noisy play place. Killua just literally slipped off his shoes since they were made for that, and placed both of ours in a show cubby.

"You know this is for like 10 year olds right?" He chuckles, and I huff, "Says the one here with me-" We share a laugh and explore small but spacious play place together, play tag, hide and seek, and spooked little kids. After we tucked out, we ordered a couple chicken sandwiches. After that whole thing, we headed home giggling over a inside joke, "And then the dog stood up and said I, 'do I look like a dog? I'm a Newyork Terrier-" we both broke into laughter at that, and approached the house. I unlocked the front door and we headed inside, the bakery was closed and it was around 8pm- but as we climbed upstairs, Alluka was on my beanbag eating popcorn and watching My Litte Pony.

Killua sighs, "oh damn it not this show-" Alluka paused her show and tackled Killua in a loving hug, "Big brother! Hi! Why did you cancel our brother sister date?" She said sadly, and Killua looked at me. He was silent for a second, and I felt bad. Sure it was fun, but he has a brother sister date with Alluka? I feel terrible for hogging him up now...

"Oh uh.. we had to do birthday shopping for Gon- But, how about in two says we can? After school?" He offered his sister, and she nodded with a smile, "yep! But no canceling!" She giggled, and Killua lovingly pat her little head. I huffed silently and sat down on my bed, setting down the bags and pulling out the frog for snuggles.

I just want him to myself... Not with Alluka included. I adore Alluka, she's amazing... but.. he loves her more and that hurts me. I want to be the only one... but that's also too much to ask. That's his sister, the only person in his family left that he truly loves. And I'm just his childhood friend... He's known Alluka her whole life... Even so, I feel... replaced... What if he just leaves me to be with her? What if I'm all alone again?

I stared at Alluka and Killua chatting away affectionately, n the bean bag. She was clinging to his arm. I clenched my fist. I'm not jealous am I? No, I can't be... Family always comes before friends... A deep heavy sigh excape my lips, and I just layed down and cuddled the frog closer while staring at the wall. I just wish she just... let me have him sometimes. I mean, he basically lives here now but he's always with his sister... and I always just end up baking or taking out my frustration in boxing at the local athletics clubhouse.

To be honest, taking my anger and inner feelings out by boxing a dummy or sometimes other students just is what keeps me from taking everything Alluka does personally. I don't want Killua to know how I feel about him and his sister, because he would shame me.

I don't want to be jealous, it's just.. some feeling within me just... sparks something protective. Controlling. I want to get rid of it so bad... and other emotions... but I can't. What if he doesnt even remember my birthday is tomorrow...?

I don't want to be forgotten again. Not another Ging.