Bittersweet | GonKillu

Release x and x grief

Gon's POV:

I hummed the tune of my favorite show's opening Departure as I continued to massage the dough. I figured that was enough and sectioned parts apart and began to prepare for some cherry danishes. I got cherries with their glaze on the side in a bowl, and with my hands I made the servings all proportionate. As I used a rubber spatula to proportion the cherry goop onto the room temperature raw pastry, cover the top of the dough in melted butter, sprinkled some raw sugar and soon placed them into the conventional oven with the timer set. Whoo- finally all done with that batch, now to wait!

I wash my hands under hot but not scorching water and pat them dry with a rag, I wonder why Killua told Canary.... I'll ask him why soon. It must not have been to be exposing, I'm sure. I nod to myself accepting that truth. I tilt my head to look up at the ladder leading up to my room. Of course nobody was there, but something drew my eyes there curiously.

I hope Canary isn't telling Killua about something she thinks is true but isn't... my throat tightens slightly. Is this worry? Anxiety? Whatever it is, I don't like it. I sigh lightly and give into my curiosity, treading over lightly to the ladder and going into my room. Canary was playing dolls with Killua and his sister. Hm. I guess I was worried for no reason, Canary is my friend. She wouldn't spread rumors. A warm smile spread onto my face as I walked over to play too.

"Nooooo- no boys allowed!" Alluka complained, and I pouted, "But Killua's a boy-" I complained, and Killua chuckled, "Since when~?" "Oh come on- I just wanna play with you guuuyyysss-" I whine, huffing quietly and staring at the dolls. "Maybe you should do something else. We are doing something, you don't need to hang out every 5 minutes, Gon" Canary said, dancing around her doll in its little toe tips. I grimaced quietly, what? I shook that off, "Oh but I wanna hang out with Alluka and Killua! They are fun to be around, and Alluka is adorable" I smile, and Canary just rolled her eyes and dismissed me, "Your not wanted, go away. I hear the Arcade is open."

Are they.... banishing me from my own room? On my birthday? I gulp, "Well um... it's my room Canary.." "And Killua doesn't want you here and he's your new roommate" Canary made deadly eye contact with Killua, "Right Killua?" She asked, and he nervously looked around and avoided my eye contact and instead meekly nodded while staring into the floor. .... He wants me gone? Oh. I see. "Ok! See you guys later!" I beam cheerfully at them, and with a hum exit the room to downstairs. The smile pressed onto my face faded like a memory as my eyes glanced dimly at the floor.

... Killua doesn't even want me here? I guess I desurve that.. My teeth clench silently as my fists tighten. Why am I always the one pushed aside? Forgotten? Abandoned? You know what- Fuck Killua. Fuck Canary. Fuck friendship-! I'm sick of it all, everything. My feet carry me heavily but quickly across the room, swiftly dodging my aunt as she was working behind the counter. Before she could comment about my attitude, I was out the door. A harsh rain was already beating down onto the cold and now sodden concrete. The sky a dark and violent gray raging above. The rain begins to cover my body, soaking my shirt, hair, pants, and everything. It's freezing but I can deal with it.

I stayed silent, and threaded on no matter, the cold harsh rain gathering into small streams flowing down my exposed forearms to my tightened fist and dropped down to a puddle silently. I just walked, if they don't want me then I guess I'll spend my birthday at the boxing academy. I enter the place absolutely drenched, wiping my shoes onto the mat and wringing my soaked cloths onto it. People didnt seem to notice me, and I just made my way over to a section of the room in the corner that was vacant and approached the boxing bag. I took off my wet shirt, and took a couple public size B gloves and wrap up, in a defensive position.

My gloves level with my head, infront of my crown to protect it. I take a right hook at the bag, it made a thump sound and slightly swayed. I hate being pushed to the side. Another two-point punch with my left. Why does everyone just leave? A high kick-hook combo. Why can't someone just want to be with me for just the reason to be close? I tightened my fists grasp around the glove and deliver a ragged right hook left combo with a mid and high kick to the bag, and the chain snapped with the bag and it flew across the space with a skid on the floor. I panted slightly, from working up a sweat.

I go back to normal stance and look at the damage I caused with the bag. I just ruin everything, don't I? Boxing won't solve it. Pleasure won't solve it. Love won't solve it. Why can't I just feel whole already? Ever since my dad left, I lost a part of my heart. He was my idol. And he left me. Maybe I deserve to be left. My fists loosen and drop. My lips quiver slightly and I drop to the ground slumped up against the wall. A small weak wail sounded from my chest, and cold chilling tears streamed from my eyes. Why does everyone leave? Don't I desurve love too?

Killua's POV:

I feel so bad, Canary sent Gon off and was harsh... she said that he just needs some time for himself to work out his feelings, but I feel terrible. If I was dismissed, I'd feel upset. She didn't have to be so brash about it. "... Canary why were you so mean?" I ask quietly and she shrugged, "Killua, he needed to know that he is too clingy to you. He wants to be with you 24/7 and that's not healthy." She explained. I huffed quietly, I'm most likely the clingy one out of us.

"... It's raining outside" I comment, staring out to the window grimly. Canary nodded, "Don't worry, he's fine." She assured.

Why do I have the feeling he isn't?