Finding the Missing Piece: Book 3

Chapter Fifty-Eight

Katniss POV-

Eventually, I conjure up enough fire to go inside.

I see Peeta sitting on the couch with Carter in his arms.

When he sees me he stands up, "I need to go deal with something for a little bit. I'll be back." Peeta says harshly, shoving Carter in my hands.

Before I can speak, he's out the door.

I hold my breath as I watch through the window as he pulls away from our house and is off to who-knows-where.

Carter stares up at me, clueless and confused as to what just happened.

"Well, that's not good." I say, almost on the verge of tears.

I'm pretty sure Peeta just left me.

At least for a little while and I hate the thought of it.

I hate the thought of the only person left I love, besides my friends, being gone.

I know he didn't leave me, leave me, but still.

I know he would never go to that extreme but it still hurts and I'm sure he's hurting too but all I can seem to think about is myself, which isn't good.

Sure, Peeta and I are one and it's our decision but it's my body, it's me who has to carry the baby and worry about what I do and eat and all this other stuff I don't want to do yet.

I'm 20 and I just got married, it's bad enough I got married at 19.

I just wish Peeta would see there's about another twenty or twenty five years until kids wouldn't be an option at all.

Besides, I will not make him wait that long.

It's like he only wants me now so that I can bare his children and nothing more.

I know Peeta loves me but he keeps asking me about children and I'm not ready.

He doesn't understand, we are only twenty.

I still have a hard time taking care of myself.

I don't wanna be hung down with a baby at home like Bristol is and how Annie and Finnick will be in a few weeks.

"What should I do?" I ask Carter, leaning her up against my knees on the couch.

Carter just stares up at me, not even making a sound like she occasionally does.

"I don't want a baby yet, Carter." I tell her frowning.

She closes her eyes, but not to sleep.

I'm sure it's probably her not wanting to associate with me anymore, which I don't blame her.

I hold her over me, her head on my shoulder and press my forehead to her brown haired head.

"I love you." I say with a chuckle, "Even though your ignoring me."

She doesn't move, maybe she did want to sleep or maybe she doesn't know how to respond to me, being that she's only two months old. Maybe Carter knows that I need some kind of affection since Peeta isn't here, I don't know.

7:30 rolls around and Peeta still hasn't come back home and hasn't even called me either.

I make dinner with Carter slung across my forearm. I would lay her in her carrier or playpen but I'm liking her in my arms. Whether I would ever want to admit it or not, I love taking care of people. I've always been that way, so I don't even hesitate to keep her in my arms.

While I eat, Carter wakes up.

I give her a bath in the sink and rinse all of today's collected dirt and excess sunscreen off of her pale skin.

I feed her and around 10:30, I decide Peeta isn't even coming home tonight and realize it's going be a lonely night, even with Carter and Buttercup by my side.

I already feel so alone, even though Carter is awake and is happy.

We lay on the floor on her pink blanket and play with her toys.

I lay there, bored and basically unresponsive to anything.

My mind is on someone else.

Why did he leave?

Was it because of me or did something else occur?

Whatever it is, Peeta better have a damn good reason to leave instead of talking it over with me.

"Do you think Uncle Peeta is gonna come back to me?" I ask Carter who gnaws roughly on a purple teether.

That's when it starts.

Carter begins letting out blood curtailing screams and I don't know why.

I try giving her another bottle, her pacifier, her diaper is clean. I give her a few teething biscuits and she refuses them. I even give her a dose of medicine.

I've tried everything and I'm on the verge of tears myself.

I hold her close and rock her back and forth, shushing her too,"Carter, please calm down. Please?"

But she wails on.

About 11:30, she still continues so I use my last resort, well besides calling her mother.

I call Peeta.

(On the phone with Peeta)

"Please, Peeta? I know you're mad at me and I don't know what is going on but Carter is hysterical and has been, please come home." I cry out as soon as I realize he picked up.

He doesn't say anything back for a second, but it's not silent because Carter's cries fill the noise.

"I'll be there in a minute." He says but before he hangs up I take in a deep breath, "Peeta?" I say, hoping he hasn't already hung up.

"Yeah?" He says and I can tell he feels bad by his voice.

"I love you." I whine into the phone.

He sighs, "I love you too. I'll be there in a minute. I promise."

I shakily put down my phone, an emotional wreck.

"Carter, stop. Peeta is coming, just stop crying. You love Peeta, he's gonna come in a minute. I promise." I say to her, though she's louder than I ever thought about being.

Five minutes later, Peeta comes through the door and I run into his arms.

His face sad and sleepy.

"Is she sick?" He asks.

I shake my head, "She's perfectly fine or she was. I tried everything. I even gave her some of her medicine in case it was her teeth but that was like 30 minutes ago. It's had time to kick in." I say.

He takes the screaming child from me, "Just go on up to bed. I'll be there soon." Peeta says.

I shake my head, "No, we need to talk, Peeta." I say standing my ground.

Peeta clenches his jaw, "Go to bed, Katniss. I'll be there in a minute." He says frustrated.

I give him a scowl and go up the stairs.

When I get there, I crawl into bed.

All I can hear are Carter's wails coming from downstairs.

I listen to this for over an hour before she finally stops.

I'm so sluggish that when Peeta does finally come up to bed, I don't speak to him.

I just act like I'm asleep already.