Finding the Missing Piece: Book 3

Chapter Seventy-Eight

Katniss POV-

"What do you want to do about this whole mess?" Peeta asks.

I shrug and pull away from his embrace, "I want to run away from it, like I use to all my problems."

He shakes his head, "You can't run away, Katniss."

"I'm not going to run away. I assure you that I'm gonna stay right here and cause all kinds of trouble." I tell him stubbornly.

He smiles sadly, "So am I."

I push up onto my tippy-toes a little and give him a peck on the lips.

"I'm sorry about everything, Peeta. I just feel so much pressure about this. I want you to have this but I'm not ready. I feel like you're pressuring me and it's hard because I just want to make you happy." I explain.

He frowns, "Katniss, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to pressure you into anything but I just want this so bad. I know you've never really denied me kids, but it's hard not to be ready when we I've waited my whole life for it. It's like I waited my entire life to find you and marry you. It just feels like I'm going to be waiting longer for this."

"It's not any longer if I don't agree before two years." I remind him.

"But you said this morning you probably weren't going to..." Peeta says.

"Peeta, I don't know what I'm going to do." I tell him honestly.

He shrugs, "Here we go again." Peeta mumbles.

"No. We are going tomorrow to go sign up for some kind of counseling because I'll be damned if I let our marriage stay like this." I shoot at him.

He rolls his eyes.

"Peeta, I'm serious. Do you want to fix things or not?"

"I do but you are the most difficult person alive, Katniss." Peeta says frustratedly.

"Well, you knew damn well when you met me what you were getting into so don't act like you didn't." I tell him, crossing my arms angrily.

I can't believe he said that.

"I didn't say that I didn't know what I was getting into because I knew."

"Then if you didn't want to deal with me the rest of your life then why'd you marry me?" I ask him, raising my voice.

He stands up again, "Because I'm in love with you."

I shrug, "Well, maybe I'm in love with you too."

"Maybe?" He scoffs.

"No it's a 'definitely' not a 'maybe.' I love you, Peeta but you don't realize how difficult it is living with you. You treat me like a queen and I try to help you out and I end up looking like an ass because I'm not all sweet and good with words like you are. You don't know how hard it is for me to love you so much but not being able to show you because I don't know how!"

"You show me your love just fine, Katniss." He says softly, glaring at the floor boards.

"If I did that then I would give you a baby but I haven't yet and I don't know when I will." I tell him quietly.

We just sit there, staring at the floor for I don't know how long before I finally speak up again.

"You are sleeping on the couch tonight. I don't want you in here." I say and with that he gets up and walks out of our bedroom, slamming the door shut behind him.

It takes all I have not to open the door back up and beg him not to go downstairs. Beg him to come hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay but I don't.