Finding the Missing Piece: Book 3

Chapter Fifty-Nine

Katniss POV- (About 3am)

I've been awake for hours and I think Peeta has too, because usually he snores just a hint and I've heard nothing but steady breaths coming from him.

I'm stuck.

I don't know what to do or what to say to him.

I don't even know if I wanna bring it up again, though I know it's not the last of that conversation.

I wonder where he was for almost nine hours.

Who was he with and what was he doing?

These questions roll out of my mind and eventually, I fall into one of those sleeps where you're asleep but you're still aware of everything around you.

Carter's 4am feeding time occurs a little later but I don't get up.

He can do it or maybe she can scream for a while, it won't hurt her.

Peeta jumps up as soon as she starts, that's when I know he hadn't been asleep.

He'd gotten up too quickly and was too alert.

He walks across the hallway, to the guest bedroom, where Carter's play crib is set up by the door.

I hear him pad across the floor with a screaming baby in his arms and go downstairs, to fix her a bottle.

I contemplate getting up myself, to help him or maybe just to start another fight. I really don't know. But I decide against it until I realize I've never ever felt this distant from Peeta, not even when we broke up.

The need for human closeness overcomes my laziness and I decide I want to speak with Peeta so I climb out of bed and start down the stairs, but the sound of him softly talking to Carter stops me.

"I really love your Aunt Katniss but I just wish she wouldn't be so difficult sometimes." Peeta whispers to her, as she sucks down her bottle.

Peeta laughs a little, shaking his head, "All I ever wanted was to have kids and to have someone like Katniss to be their mom. I guess I'm being a little too eager with it all though." He admits.

I roll my eyes and bite my tongue before I let out a, 'No joke.'

"Ugh, well I guess our late night fun is done, huh? Let's get you back up to bed." Peeta says to Carter.

He stands up and before he can make it towards the stairs, I quietly run back to our room. I hear him go up the stairs and eventually, he shuts her door, coming back to our room just seconds later.

He climbs into bed and I just can't stop thinking about what he was saying.

I am probably the most difficult person on this earth but I simply told him, 'Not now.'

I've never denied it to him completely I don't think.

That wasn't being difficult.

If anything, Peeta is being the difficult one about this.

We've had the conversation 50 times and most of them being before we were married, I just don't understand.

I lay there another fifteen or twenty minutes before I speak up, "Peeta?" I call softly.

"Yeah?" He says, almost a little too quickly.

"Are you awake?" I ask, rhetorically.

He takes a breath, "No."

I laugh and turn to face him, he cocks his head my way, "I'm sorry about ruining today." I say softly.

Peeta frowns, "You didn't ruin today."