We belong to eachother now

TEN 🔞

I stare at the ceiling, not able to sleep. Playing different scenarios in my head of how that conversation would have turn out had I said something different.

It is hard for me to fall asleep, my mind won't calm down and my body feels electric. After a while, I get up trying to make no noise, grab my shoes and a blanket to put around my shoulders.

I slowly close the room door behind me and the cold night air hits my face. The sky is still full of stars and everything is quiet, except for some crickets and other small nocturnal animals. It is a light silence, whereas in the room the silence was crushing me.

I take a deep breath, filling my lungs with fresh air. I start to walk towards the creek, taking in the nature and darkness around me. There is a cool breeze so I pull the blanket tighter. The creek is close, a small walking distance.

My path is lit up by the stars and moon, there is enough light for me to see where I'm going but it is also dark enough to give me a sense of comfort. The smell of fresh pines is strong and refreshing, I try to absorb the night around me. How lucky am I to be in the middle of nature, on the other side of the world? I should be enjoying this more and focus less on problems.

I hear the small creek before it comes into view. The water runs quickly over the shallow creek bed, the starlight reflecting on it making the it seem like it is dancing. I approach the water and kneel, dipping my hand in it. Damn it's freezing! I get up and sit a couple a feet away from the creek. I hug my knees to keep warm and look up to the sky. I remember being a kid and just starring at the stars in the summer nights, trying to stay awake as much as possible and just wonder about what was beyond all those lights.

"Can't sleep?" I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't hear his footsteps.

"Yeah." I say looking up to him. He is standing there with hands in his pockets, wearing his hoodie and sweatpants. He looks cute as always.

"Yeah, me too." he comes closer and sits so near me that our arms are touching.

We don't speak for a while. He shivers a little so I put half of my blanket on his shoulders, now we are sharing the blanket. Without the blanket between us I can feel his warm body touching mine.

"Thanks." he says "Look I think I may have overreacted before, we don't know eachother that well and you are free to do what you want, you don't owe me anything. I guess I got carried away, I liked hanging out with you and then you just cut things off, I didn't react in the best way, for that I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too. I probably should have said something instead of just going MIA." I reply.

"I'm the one who went crazy. But don't worry I already got in my head that we are just two people crossing paths that will go their own ways eventually." He continued "There's no need to make this a big deal. It's not like we mean that much to each other right? We probably won't remember this in a few months."

Wow that stung! So all of the sudden I'm meaningless to him? So much so that he will forget about me in a few months? I feel my blood boil, he hurt my pride and don't like it one bit. Just having the slightest thought about him moving on as if I never existed makes me angry and jealous. Something comes over me, I need to assert dominance and be in control.

If he thinks it will be that easy to forget me, he's wrong. He will only move on when I let him move on. I deal the cards here, not the other way around. He is mine and will make sure he knows it.

"JK" I say in a low husky voice as I turn my head to him.

He humms turning towards me.

I look deeply in those big brown eyes, then my stare drifts to his lips as I slightly lick my own. I stare into his eyes again, I put my hand on his neck and move it down to his chest. I lean in and our lips are almost touching, he swallows hard, his breathing becomes quicker. I stand there for a few more seconds, building the tension. When I feel his chest starting to move my way, as if he was going to close the gap between us, I pull away.