We belong to eachother now

FORTY EIGHT

Jungkook POV

I open my eyes slowly, it's still dark outside. Another night where I wake up in middle of the night. I'm starting to get used to these.

I stare blankly at the white ceiling above me. Her name is always the first thought that appears in my head when I wake up. I feel my vision get blurry from the tears that are already starting to form.

It has been so long since I heard from her at all. I have no idea, how she's doing. I tried to reach out, I still do but she must have blocked my number.

Damn I miss her voice.

I understand why she cut me off, we were only trying fool eachother when we said we would keep in touch. Still, I was naive enough to believe it.

I get up from my bed slowly, trying to not wake up the cute puppy sleeping next to me. Bam is my new dog and he has been keeping me company ever since she left.

Walking towards the kitchen, I don't even bother to open the lights. I go to fridge and grab a cold bottle of water.

I still have a few hours before dance practice. I already know it's no use going back to bed because I won't sleep. So I decide to go workout. It's a way to keep my mind busy at least.

Going near the big floor to ceiling windows, I'm greeted by Seoul's night lights. She always loved this view, particularly on clear sky nights like this one.

"Jungkook-ah." Jin's sleepy voice calls from behind.

"Did I wake you hyung?" I turn to face him.

He is wearing a blue pijama set with little RJs as the pattern. His usually neat dark hair is now all over the place.

"No. I went to sleep without having dinner, now I'm hungry." He shuffles to the kitchen, turning the lights. "Want a cup of noodles?"

"No, thank you." I reply politely.

"Can't sleep again?"

"Something like that. I'll see you at practice hyung." I start to walk away but stop when he speaks.

"Jungkook-ah you have to move on. You can't keep going like this." His looks at me with a worried face.

"I know hyung." I give him a small smile and leave.

He's right but I can't just move on. Believe me, I have tried. I'm just not strong enough. All my waking thoughts are about her. I never thought someone could have this much influence on my life.

I go to our workout room in the lower levels of our apartment complex. I like coming at this hour because I know I'll be alone. Immediately, I grab my boxing gloves and start hitting the punching bag with all my strength.

After I get in the rithm, as usual I loose my mind. I start punching and kicking left and right, not really caring about technique or my safety. I feel like a caged animal, letting his frustration and rage run wild.

This is the only time, I let go of all myself control. All day long, specially when I'm working or with my hyungs, I keep mostly to myself and numb all my feelings. I owe them everything, so I try my best to not jeopardize all that we achieved together.

If I wasn't in BTS, I would have followed her the second she set foot on that plane. I would leave everything behind for her. The only thing, holding me back are my hyungs. I don't ever want to disappoint them or do something that ends up their careers.

The high intensity of my movements is making my heart race uncontrollably and sweat is covering my body. Still, I keep it up until I literally fall on the floor. Exhaustion is always my ultimate goal.