Yours, Submissively (Steve Rogers)

Hindsight*

"Bucky, we have to be quiet." 

"She's sleeping."

"Finally."

"What do you mean finally?"

"She barely sleeps. I'm surprised we haven't heard her screaming.   So be quiet."

Belle looked at the ceiling. As much as her friends think they are being quiet, they are not.

"What do you mean screaming?"

"She can't sleep. She has nightmares she..." Lila lowered her voice.

"I'll talk to her."  Bucky's voice muffled then.

"Bucky, stop.  Seriously."

"But I want to make you scream."

Belle was ready.  Ready to kill Bucky Barnes by strangulation and then his girlfriend.

"I know baby but we gotta be quiet."  Lila tried god bless her but the long moan that came after was the final straw.

Belle got up quietly and dressed.  She could hear now that Bucky and Lila were not going to notice her now.  She grabbed her bag and keys and made her way out. She heads to the coffee shop.   Melissa looked up.  "Hey Belle, you're early."

"Morning Mel.  Bucky and Lila."

Melissa crinkled her nose.  "Yeah ok. Double it is. Today is the last day of freedom.  You ready for Monday?"

Belle looked at her phone.  It was Friday.  It had been a month since she had seen Steve.  A month filled with tears, memories, nightmares, pain.  It was also the day she needed to visit the clinic. "Just need to get supplies for the training. I'm going to enjoy my last weekend before going back to work."  She made her way to her normal table and tried to relax.

She couldn't help but wonder what if.   What if she is actually pregnant?  What would that mean?  Would Steve want to get back together?  Would he want to co-parent?  Or would he want nothing to do with his child. She shook her head.  Of course, he would want to do the responsible thing and take care of his child.  Or maybe he would try to take custody.

Wait, wait, she told herself.  You don't even know if the results are positive or negative. The pep talk helped. She waved to Melissa as she left and headed into the cool May morning. She headed to Brooklyn to the clinic there.  Away from prying eye of Manhattan elite.  She checked in and waited her turn.  This clinic was a free one but still well maintained.

"Miss Davis?"

Belle stood up and followed the nurse in.  They went through all the questions and finally drew blood. The results would be done in an hour or so.  Belle went to the park around the corner to wait.  She pictured taking her baby to the park.  A little girl.  Pushing her on the swings, riding the slide on Steve's lap.

Would this be the only way he would stay?  If she was pregnant with his kid?  That wasn't what she wanted.  She wanted to be with him. Regardless of what the results show.  But would he want her?

Her phone rang.  She answered and held her breath.   And let it out. With a tear. It was settled.  She looked at her phone again and looked at Steve's contact.  It was the right thing to do.

B: Hi.  I just wanted to let you know that the results of the blood test are negative. I'm sorry to have disrupted your life. 

Belle puts her phone down and sobs.  It was her last chance.  Her last chance at some connection with Steve.   She held herself, wishing she could calm down, wishing Lila or Hope or MJ was there to reminder her that she would be ok.