Henry X William

FUCK THE RULES! Cupid AU

William Lia Afton: "Honestly mate I'd rather be spring locked again than go through another lovey-dovey training course!" "Look man I don't know what to tell you now excuse me it's my shift for easter bunny." Jason then walked off. "Cupid duty I'D RATHER BE DAMNED IN HELL!" I swear on this lovey bull crap. 

  "I can't help it that you were mostly good but, then decided to Oh I don't know... MURDER CHILDREN!!" I flenched. "GOD YOU TOOK MY BLOODY KIDS AND YOU WERE LIKE 'Well that's fine he wasn't abused and already on the FUCKING EDGE OF BREAKING!" I yelled at my boss. Out of all heaven and hell things and all the theories I never expected to just have jobs. "At least your not on fucking SANTA DUTY!" Helen added. "True..." I muttered. 

"You know your one of the most good-looking and humans expect cupid to be attractive. "OUT OF ALL JOBS." "Cupid." *Sigh* "Larry dear turn up the heavenly vocals too low and fearsome in God's office." I rolled my eyes. "GOT IT, BOSS!" *Cough* My boss cleared his throat. I tapped my black dress shoe to the cloudy tile. "WILLIAM PUT ON THE OUTFIT AND GRAB YOUR BOW!" I flinched again. 

 "THANK YOU LARRY NOW TURN THEM DOWN!" "You got it big guy!" Chuck cleared his throat again. "Now Afton look..." He muttered, guilt in his tone. "You used to be the sweetest angel in heaven now look at you." I stared at the floor. "Your calling love bull *QUACK* LARRY!" "SORRY!" "You're calling love bull shit and yelling at your boss!" "What happen to Sharlotte?" I scoffed. "She's in hell." "BURNING!" "SHE ABUSED ME AND MY KIDS!" "I'M THIS DEAD ANGEL THING AND MY KIDS!?" "WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY KIDS CHUCK!?" I screamed, tears threatening to burst from my blue glossy eyes. 

"JACK GET ME THE CUPIDS HEART FINDER EX-RAY!" The raven-haired angel walked in with the heart ray and directed me to sit down behind it. I gave another huff and sat down. "GOODNESS CUPIDS HEART IS BROKEN!" I peered over the brim of the ex-ray and there my heart was.. Broken sheds of glassy heart. Red and bruised, small cracks all around. 

  "..." Well, I guess that's it. There's no use taking it out on other people... *Sigh* I stood up and dusted the non-existent soot off of my dress pants. "I'll go put on the white and pink s-suit." My big fluffy light grey and purple faded angel wings sloped and I felt my halo grow heavier. *Sniff* A cupid with a broken heart. 

"W-William!" God stuttered. "We've uh kinda know this per- " I closed the door, not bothering to hear what my boss was saying. I knew the file would just appear on my bed like always. I walked back through the fluffy foggy white clouds to my room. I grabbed my heart-shaped key and stuck it in the lock. On my bed was the cupid outfit. I face-planted into one of my pillows and sobbed my eyes out, screaming at the top of my lungs. No one could hear me anyway. 

The next day I woke up. Red and black bags under my eyes and messy hair. I sighed. "Let's fix me up and then go into this stupid love file." I folded my wings in and fixed my hair. A low pony. I put the dumbass cupid suit on and grabbed my bow, shoving it into my indetectable enlarge meant bag. Last but, not least I opened my vanity drawer and pulled out my daughter's red bow, clipping it into my hair. 

I took a deep breath, sat cross-legged on my bed, and opened the milk tea-colored folder. "Henry Emily..." My fingers grazed the first worksheet as my eyes gazed at the sandy-haired male. "NO." "NO!" "UGHHHHH STUPID STUPID WILLIAM!" I slammed the folder onto my bed and stared blankly at it. "WHY HIMMMMMMMMMMM!?" "WHY MUST YOU TORTURE ME!?" I took another shaky deep breath and opened the cover. Feeling my heart each as I stared at the man. Henry Emily was my best friend. My old business partner. My crush for, I don't even know how long.... "Great now I get to pair him with someone else and watch him love them... AGAIN." My fingers traced the lips of the picture and I licked mine in desire. "No." 

"Ight, born in America. Raised in America. Shy. Sweet. Hard-working. Straight?" What's with the question mark? Not mind that. I pulled out another sheet from the folds of the package and stared at the pictures of the man. "God, I'm a creep." "Well, let's do this." After reading a little more on the man I saw a page labeled love interests. Normally I would check this but, instead, I gently tucked everything back into the folder and stuffed it into my bag. 

 "Portal time." I moved my index finger down and snapped my fingers. A small hole began to form in front of me. I waited. Even in heaven, I have to wait for shit to load. Ironic. I stood and waited, after a good five minutes, the portal was big enough to step through. There I was. Dusty and small. A little lime green couch and portraits of Henry and Charlie. I was at Emily's house. I unzipped my bag and pulled out the milky folder again, reviewing the third paper. "Recently divorced..." I muttered. I carefully sat on the couch and crossed my legs. I need coffee. I twirled my finger in the air and a white coffee cup with hot brown and creamy liquid appeared mid-air. I motioned my finger to the black coffee table and the cup sat down where I pointed.