Fluffy SKZ Oneshots EP.2🧸

To hold and to be held🍼🌡️

Sickie/Little: Chan

Caregivers: 2basco

No one's POV.:

As the leader and oldest member of Stray Kids, there were things Chan couldn't have. He had accepted that long ago because he loved his members, or rather brothers, and he had always been the oldest sibling, so he was used to it. That didn't stop his secret yearning though. He craved having an older member in the group, someone he could go to for guidance when he didn't know what to do. Chan was always the one holding it together and fixing what his dongsaengs couldn't but it was hard sometimes. Sometimes, he just wanted someone else to take over, to give him a break but that wasn't something he could ask of his friends. He was the leader and he knew that he would always be in charge when he was put in that position, so not getting a break had been expected. That was hard though and at some point, Chan had to learn how to take a break himself. He had stumbled across something called age regression, which had helped him set down the weights he was carrying at least for a little while to regain the strength to continue.

Being secretly little wasn't all that difficult because he could easily hide away in his studio for some time and since they had moved into their new dorms, it got even easier. The main problem with slipping was that he already had very little time outside of work and being little meant sleeping even less, so it might help him be less stressed but it would leave him even more tired. Chan also felt very lonely when he slipped because he knew that he would always have to keep it a secret and therefore would never have any support when being little. The Aussie was afraid what his friends would think if they ever happened to find out. They probably wouldn't trust him to lead their group anymore and might even be disgusted because he was the oldest, the one who always knew how to help. He didn't need help, right? Well, so far, he had always managed without but there had been many occasions when he would've appreciated a little help. He could never ask for it though.

Chan had had a long day, developing a bad headache about halfway through his schedule. He figured the headache was brought on by suppressing his littlespace for too long because he had been so busy lately that he never managed to make time for it. After dinner, 3racha had gone to the studio together and Chan couldn't be more grateful for that. It had been so loud and chaotic with way too many people around them all day, going to the studio felt a bit like going home. Sure, they still had to work but at least it was only the three of them. Changbin and Jisung had noticed something being off about their hyung, so they were glad to have some privacy at the studio. That didn't mean that Chan would open up about what was bothering him though. The other two had asked him if anything was wrong but all he admitted to was having a small headache. They didn't need that information, already having noticed Chan wince whenever there was a loud noise.

3racha just worked on music like they always did, Changbin and Jisung not wanting to corner the oldest if he didn't want to talk but in truth, Chan wanted to talk, wanted to tell them how he was hurting and ask them to make it better. He wanted to be the one being held for once but he knew that wasn't something he could ask of his dongsaengs. The leader barely came up with any ideas his mind too fuzzy to think straight. He had to fight hard to keep his little-side from coming out and when he felt close to losing the battle, he sent Changbin and Jisung home, claiming: "I'm only going to edit a few things and head back too. There's nothing for the two of you to do while I edit, so you should go home and head to bed." Yes, it was late but it wasn't that late, so asking them to go to bed confused the younger two rappers. "Are you sure? We're in no rush and you can still edit it tomorrow", Changbin asked, "Why don't you come with us?" Clearing his throat to keep his voice from cracking, Chan lied: "I'd rather edit it while everything is still fresh in my head. I might forget some things by tomorrow. As soon as I'm done, I'll go home too." He was feeling younger by the minute and knew if his friends didn't leave soon, they'd end up seeing something they weren't supposed to see.