Fluffy SKZ Oneshots EP.2🧸

Dreams do come true🍼

Little: Chan

Caregivers: ?

No one's POV.:

Chan had barely been a teenager when he had developed his headspace. Moving away from his family and giving up his youth for his future left him with no one to turn to and no place to feel safe. The first time he had slipped had been completely involuntary after a long day of dance class. Getting overwhelmed, he had just grabbed his bag and bolted from the practice room. Chan had found himself an empty studio to hide as he tried to make sense of what was happening. Pulling his knees up to his chest, the boy had rocked back and forth for almost half an hour to soothe himself before coming out of his headspace. That didn't mean he'd feel any less anxious though. If anything, Chan was even more confused and terrified as he wondered what was happening to him. He had been deep in thought, barely able to get any sleep that night but figured it had been a one-time incident probably brought on by stress. Until it happened again.

Scared and not wanting to talk to anyone about what was happening to him because he didn't know anyone well enough yet, Chan had turned to the internet and pieced together that he had developed what people call littlespace. The Aussie was no doubt embarrassed about it because he had been so adamant that he was already big enough to train as an idol, so suddenly acting like a toddler was about the most humiliating thing that could happen to a young teen. Desperate to avoid that ever happening again and perhaps other trainees noticing it, Chan tried to find other ways to cope with his stress as he figured that was the cause. What he hadn't been prepared for were the intense headaches that he soon found himself hit by before once again slipping involuntarily and uncontrolled. For a while Chan even considered telling his mom about his headaches because he feared there might be something seriously wrong with him but he didn't want to worry her and make her doubt his decision to join the company.

When Chan read that neglecting one's headspace can cause headaches, he realized that his avoidance strategy was only causing him more pain, so he should figure out how to slip safely without anyone finding out. Though he hated it, he made a habit of regressing frequently and usually played games on his phone or watched Disney movies to destress. It prevented him from slipping involuntarily, so the risk of anyone finding out got lower the longer he kept at it and eventually, the headaches improved too. Chan learned to read himself better as he grew up and could tell by the way his head hurt whether he needed to slip. Eventually, he even started to embrace his headspace because it had been there for him when no one else was and gave him somewhere to turn to when he lost close friends every time they debuted without him. It was the one constant in his life, the only thing that never really changed no matter the circumstances.

Since nobody could find out about this little quirk of his, Chan never owned any littlegear. It was simply too risky yet he often wished for some toys and plushies, something to make it easier to stay in his headspace. He found littlespace content online and often got jealous of the other littles. They had as many toys as they wanted, some even had caregivers. Not only did their friends and loved ones not judge them, they even took care of them they needed. Channie had to take care of himself. By the time he debuted with a group, he realized he was once again the one in charge, the one that needed to take care of himself. He loved his members and wouldn't trade them for anything but he wasn't sure whether the role of leader and oldest was right for him. That didn't mean he wouldn't give it his all though.

Especially in the beginning of living with the members, Chan started to neglect his headspace again. It was simply too risky to slip and have one of them find out. He was the one they looked up to, so if anyone learned how much of a weirdo he was, they wouldn't accept him as their leader. At least, that was what Chan had convinced himself of. The truth was that with his frequent headaches and severe insomnia, the Stray Kids members wished for him to find something to help. At the same time, Chan started to struggle more. They were giving fansigns and he was frequently gifted plushies and cute things, which made it hard for him not to slip in front of fans. Worse was that he couldn't even keep the gifts. Occasionally, the little would cry himself to sleep at night because he had been given something especially cute but had to part with it almost immediately. Why couldn't he just be himself? Comfortably little amongst the people he loved the most and surrounded by things that made him feel cozy and safe. Though Chan used to believe that dreams came true if you were determined enough to make them work, his debut after years of training fueling this belief, he eventually accepted that some dreams simply couldn't come true.