attraction.

Always You. 1/8

in a fic where jeon jungkook felt like his ex girlfriend park chaeyoung was the one that got away.

365 days.

Not that he had been counting, but his phone sent him a notification with a photo of them together, sitting on the beach for their last sunset before the break-up and somehow, he still hasn't had the courage to delete it after all this time. When the notification appears, he can't help but look at it, seeing the pair wearing matching black bucket hats that barely showed their faces but he knew—he still remembers the red flush against her cheeks and nose. She wasn't good when it came to cold weather.

He wonders if she's keeping warm.

Jeon Jungkook has changed a lot since then too. A few more tattoos, though he hasn't dared touched or concealed the one for her. Piercings. He's working out more. A part of him knows that she's probably worried (she hated piercings and she wasn't the biggest fans of inked skin) so at minimum, he wanted to show an unspoken dialogue that he was healthy and well.

He doesn't know, whether she's happy or not.

Jeon Jungkook often torments himself by thinking about the day they decided to break up. They'd met at a park near her dorm as usual, before walking to the beach at 3am in the morning so that no one could see. She looked tired, beautiful but tired.

"How long do I have to be kept like a dirty little secret?" She finally breaks through the silence, "... I've been getting calls for the last few weeks, I think it's from your sasaeng."

His heart broke.

He warned her time and time again not to touch her girlfriend, but there he was—as the cause for his girlfriend's own torment.

"Will the police press charges?" She inquires, letting go of her hand as she stops, turning to him, "... when will this stop? When will it go away?"

Her voice, was soft yet broken.

He'd never seen her to hurt (and he's seen her through a lot) but he knew, it was the price they paid for choosing the idol life.

"They don't have enough evidence, she's untraceab—"

"What the fuck do you mean they don't have any evidence!" She practically screams, tears flowing down her eyes, "... how long, Jungkook? We hadn't seen each other in a month, just cause she wouldn't stop threatening you. She's calling me, my parents, the other girls— wh—what other evidence can they possibly need?"

Jeon Jungkook wraps his arms around her and he can't think of any comforting words but "I'm sorry."

Sorry wasn't enough.

"Let's end it here, I'm tired, Jungkook. I can't keep living like this."

The break wasn't as clean cut as he'd imagined. For the first two months, the pair continued to text each other sporadically—often to congratulate each other on various achievements, to wish each other happy birthday and even to discuss some plans for her solo. She blames it on the fact that contact with him became routine, one that she found difficult breaking out from. Sometimes—he'd call her, when he was especially tired and simply whisper "I miss you" before dozing off to sleep and other times, she admits she'd call him to pick her up from the bar when she'd had a little too much to drink. But then, one day, the girls stormed into her room while she was crying in her bedroom and told her it needed to stop.

"You need to heal from him first," Jennie Kim tells her.

And she knew, those words were true.

She had spent too long in limbo and now she was free.

Why wasn't she running into freedom?

So like a band aid, she informs him that they should delete each other's numbers.

The hardest band aid to rip off.

They'd talk once more and decided on the technicalities, that even in events and parties they'd never allow themselves to be in the same room alone. She promised that she wouldn't go to events that weren't necessary (she didn't see a point in partying without him) and he did too.

"This is goodbye, then," she tells him on the phone, her nose stuffy and her voice muffled by her own crying, "... goodbye, Jungkook. You've been so good to me for the past two years."

"Promise me you'll always look after yourself," he tells her on the phone, "... that's all that matters to me."

How was she meant to life without him?