attraction.

Only Pretend. 9/9

Park Chaeyoung still remembers the pain in her chest when she lost her first love. She remembers laying on the floor of her small studio apartment, crying against Lalisa Manoban's lap.

"I'm sorry Chaeng, but just know that you're one heartbreak away from the perfect guy."

Her best friends words at the time were still fresh in her mind, especially because she was beginning to think that they were right afterall—that Kim Taehyung was the one heartbreak needed before she met him.

Only that she's wrong.

Rejection doesn't get easier with time, she's come to realised, at least, that's what she thinks as she locks herself in her room crying into her pillowcase to make sure that he can't hear the sound of her sob.

Never enough.

Park Chaeyoung has never been enough, whether it's for her parents or for Kim Taehyung and now—Jeon Jungkook.

She hates herself, so much.

The way her chest hurts makes her feel as though her heart physically can't handle the pain and suffering that she felt.

Indeed, she was too sensitive for the world.

Park Chaeyoung successfully locks herself in her room for the entire day, ignoring the sounds of faint knocking from the other side.

She hates it.

Even as he rejects her, he's still calling for her to go out and eat food.

He was a good man.

Jeon Jungkook was a true gentleman, and she should've knew—she should've known that she didn't have a chance.

After a day of isolation, Park Chaeyoung finally leaves her room only to see the door to his open. Perhaps, she's a little too intrusive because she peers in and notices the way the room was completely bare—as bare as when they first found the apartment in the first place.

He was gone.

And somehow, that makes her sob more.

And as always, Park Chaeyoung ends up alone.

When she walks through the apartment, she sees a letter addressed to her.

Dear Chaeyoung.

I'm sorry.

I know I've hurt you a lot and I hope that some day, you can forgive me.

When my father first proposed the marriage, I was shocked. I thought it was cowardly for me to leave him, to take the easy way out.

And being with you, even if was only pretend, was so easy.

It was fun, being the husband of the most gorgeous woman in the world, to see the way your face lit up in pure joy when you finished a design, or the way you'd try hard to hide your tears when watching your favourite drama.

For some time, I wondered what this feeling was—this feeling of butterflies in my stomach every time I saw you, every time I thought of you.

Or that feeling of anger every time I saw Taehyung.

Was it love?

I think so.

I love you, Chaeyoung.

I didn't realise it, but I do. Who knew that you could love someone so much in less than a year?

But in the back of my head, I always knew that it was wrong.

To use you for citizenship.

Our marriage is wrong.

And I carry that guilt daily.

I shouldn't have done it in the first place, and it was wrong.

So I'm sorry.

Here is a letter to null our marriage. Yes, it's time to set you free. The apartment has been paid for the year, so you're free to stay here for as long as you wish.

I will go back to my father, so don't worry about me.

You are a beautiful and intelligent woman, please make sure you spend the rest of your life with a man deserving of your love.

Any man is lucky to call you their wife, just take it from me.

Stay safe and be well always.

Jungkook.

-

Lalisa Manoban is a smart woman, but Park Chaeyoung thinks that she's wrong.

She told her that time heals all wounds but it's been two years and the pain is harder than ever.

Everything that has happened still is fresh in her memories.

She remembers calling her technically-still father in law crying, and how he told her that his son's flight is in two hours. Park Chaeyoung didn't even bother getting dressed, running downstairs to get a taxi in the airport.

And she remembers, how she missed the gate closing by 7 minutes.

7 minutes.

She'd sent him at least a dozen miss calls from the other side of the airport, but his phone was off. Her messages were unopened, yet delivered.

Why don't he pick up his phone?

She remembers rushing home and waiting by the couch for her message to be read. The trip should've taken 10 hours.

Only 10 hours.

But then, she remembers the television playing in the background.

Bombing in Incheon International Airport.

She prayed to every god, deity and spirit for him to be safe.

Her prayers were unanswered.

Two years later and she finds herself in the newly liberated and war-free South Korea.

"Jungkook, it's been a while right? Do you think of me?" A tired smile forms across swollen red lips as she puts the flowers down on the burial in front of her, "... what's it like in heaven? I hope you don't have a girlfriend up there, you're still my husband after all."

She sits down for the next few minutes, in silence.

"You're not angry at me, right? For not stopping you in time?"

Silence.

After half an hour, she feels a tap on her shoulder.

Her father in law, Jeon Doyoon.

"Chaeyoung, we should head back. It's cold. Jungkook would hate for you to get sick."

-

Hi everyone! As you can see, I'm marking the fic complete! I think I will officially close it since there's a zillion chapters here, but I'll be uploading a new fic soon for oneshots/mini-fics—I'll probably have ruthless game (my ongoing fic), a series of mini-fics/oneshots for rosekook as idols (posting the first part tomorrow) and another series for rosekook as alternative universes (tba). Feel free to comment here any prompts and I'll see what I can do, thank you for the support and for your patience <3