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36. Lee Daehwi | Secret Santa

https://prettywordsyouleft.tumblr.com/

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He didn't know what to get you.

Of all the people to draw out of the hat for Secret Santa, Daehwi had sat there hoping he wouldn't get you. Of course, he pulled out the slip of paper that said your name and was still stuck on what to buy you.

It wasn't that Daehwi didn't like you. That was the problem, he really liked you. And that's why he didn't want to buy your Secret Santa gift because he liked you so much that he wanted to buy you something perfect without letting on about how he felt about you.

At first, he decided to get you a book. After all, he always saw you around campus with your nose in one, and he thought it would be a perfect gift. Except there were so many genres to pick from! If he got you something action based, would that be too much? Something softer and playful might work too. The longer he stood in front of the rows of books, the easier it became to doubt the purchase. Especially with how many he had picked up that had some sort of romantic love story involved.

Would you think your Secret Santa wanted you to have a love interest with them? Would this make you uncomfortable? He shook his head and quickly placed down the novel he held. He wouldn't give you a story for Christmas.

It was the same for music; he couldn't find a group he knew you liked without finding glaringly obvious love confessions in at least one of the songs. He knew that most musicians sang about love as a topic and it was so generalised that you wouldn't bat an eyelid. But what if you considered it? He couldn't take the risk.

Daehwi exhausted his options over the next week. Everything he came up with somehow he would relate it to being some kind of confession. A mug with a cat on it? Not safe, it would insinuate he wanted to share a drink with you. Chocolates? Isn't that what you received from loved ones? Even though he knew you had a sweet tooth, he couldn't gift you those.

For someone normally so level-headed, Daehwi felt like a flustered mess over a simple present. How this had become something more than that to him, he wasn't quite sure, but it bothered him that he couldn't just pick something up without attaching his feelings to it.

And so he turned to his best friend Somi, desperate for some advice to help him find the perfect gift for you. Glancing up at him from the magazine she was reading, Somi frowned after his spiel. Had he rushed it? He was breathing hard from the exertion of explaining his predicament and he felt hot all of a sudden. Despite it being the start of winter, he moved to the window of his dorm room and pushed it open.

"You're over-thinking this."

Daehwi let out a bitter scoff and nodded. "You don't say! So, what should I get her?"

"You won't buy books, music, movies or cute knick-knacks. And chocolate or food is off the cards?" He nodded earnestly and sat down beside her, waiting for her help to begin. "What about a flower?"

"Flowers?!" he repeated and Somi shook her head firmly.

"No, as in an actual plant, one she has to look after and grow. Maybe a cute cactus? That's low maintenance in case she doesn't have a green thumb."

"Nothing says let's grow together like giving your crush a plant!"

"Why are you being so uptight about this? Just tell her how you feel then!"

"I can't."

Somi groaned. "You can't or you won't because you're scared Y/N will reject you? You're a great guy, Hwi. I don't understand why it's so hard for you to buy a present. Not everything has to be perfect in courting someone. I mean, anything is better than receiving a gift voucher. At least even with a mug, you actually put some thought into it."

"That's it!" Daehwi cried and Somi nodded happily. He dismissed her response and shook her lower arm lightly. "You're a genius; nothing can be insinuated with a gift voucher!"

"Daehwi, do not buy her a voucher! It shows how little you care about someone or how little you know about them. From what you told me you know enough to buy her a lot of things. You're just being stupid-"

"It's perfect!"

--

As the gifts were exchanged around the room, Daehwi watched you in anticipation to see your reaction. Would you be upset to receive something impersonal like Somi insisted? Should he have gotten you something comical and unattached of feelings instead? He barely realised his gift was handed to him as he watched you, a small smile crossing your lips as you looked inside your envelope.

It was then that he realised he only had an envelope too and he glanced at the handwriting on the front, blinking once when he recognised who it belonged to.

You had drawn his name too?

As he opened the envelope, he couldn't help but grin. It was a gift voucher from the same generic store he had gone to. Had you struggled to figure what to buy him as well? Although you both knew each other, it wasn't on a deep level or anything. He could understand you not knowing what to buy him. He felt at ease knowing you had essentially swapped the same gifts with each other. All that panic over the last couple of weeks had been pointless.

And Somi was wrong; you looked pretty pleased with what you had gotten.

The group of performance students all started to mingle around the Christmas party for your campus club, and Daehwi soon noticed you were walking towards him, holding your envelope up in the air.

"Thank you," you mentioned and he chuckled.

"Likewise."

"We should have tried to disguise our handwriting," you said with a giggle and then looked down at your shoes for a moment. When you looked up at him, you were chewing on your lip. "Did you struggle too?"

"I uh, didn't want my gift to confuse you."

You blinked and then nodded. "I guess it was the same for me. I had a lot of ideas but I just didn't know which to get you. A friend said a gift voucher is too impersonal yet it was the only thing I thought would be right."

"A friend said the same to me, you're not offended?"

You shook your head and smiled shyly. "Of course not! I actually like it. Especially since we got each other, Daehwi. Maybe this was a good sign because we can go spend them at the same store."

Were you suggesting you both leave and go cash in the vouchers together? As in, like a date? Daehwi was grinning and nodding his head before he thought too far ahead. He'd done enough of that already.

"Should we go and do that now? Maybe have a coffee afterwards?"

It was your turn to nod happily whilst he finished up talking and you both went to grab your coats, Daehwi holding the door to the clubroom open so you could exit first. And then his hand naturally grabbed onto yours before he thought about it, and you didn't let go.

Had it always been this easy around you or was his brain finally letting up on the incessant thoughts and allowing him to act out how he wanted to be around you? Whatever it was, it made his heart soar the longer he held your hand, swinging it lightly as you both walked along. This relaxed motion made you look at him and you shared a smile before stepping into an elevator together. Once the doors were shut you nudged him lightly.

"I'm really glad you're my Secret Santa this year, Daehwi."

"Me too."