pick me, 1 0 1

122. Park Jihoon | Going back to you

https://snaggle-chamsae.tumblr.com/

genre: angst & fluff

member: jihoon

requested: yess!

summary: you thought it is easy to break jihoon's heart... until your feelings started getting involved.

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"jihoon WHAT?"
"he ditched you?!" you asked again
seeing how bad your best friend, hyunjoo is crying, you know jihoon really ditched her this time round
after being friends with hyunjoo for such a long time, you were beside her from the time that they got together till now
and this isn't the first time that jihoon tried to play with hyunjoo
in the past, there are many times where jihoon would be so cold to her
and it is still the same now
or even worse, to be exact
"it's okay, hyunjoo. he isn't the right guy for you, it is his loss for losing you" you comfort her as you brought her into your arms
this is when you decided you had enough
it hurts you seeing how heartbroken hyunjoo is right now
more than often, hyunjoo comes running back to you, not with a smile
but with tears running down her pretty face
out of 10 times, at least for 8 times, it would all be about jihoon treating her badly
you barely have any memory of jihoon being a good boyfriend to hyunjoo
seeing how torturous the situation is, you did try persuading hyunjoo to let jihoon go
but hyunjoo have reached a point where she could no longer differentiate if it's true love or not
no matter how hard you tried convincing her, she just couldn't let go
and now that hyunjoo finally spilled the truth
you're half relieved that everything has ended and she doesn't have to suffer anymore
but at the same time
you're also half angry at jihoon for being such a pain in the ass, for treating your best friend like a trash
you had enough
looking at how devastated hyunjoo, you thought you have to do something to get revenge for hyunjoo
you can't possibly sit around and let jihoon ruin another girl's happiness right?
"don't worry, hyunjoo. jihoon will get a taste of his own medicine soon" you unknowingly clenched your fist
instead of jihoon breaking people's heart, you're gonna break jihoon's heart
with that, you spend the rest of the night crafting a plan in your head
you're gonna get close to park jihoon
make him fall in love with you as soon as possible
and then break his damn heart
"this is the only way you can learn your lesson, park jihoon" you cursed
but first, you need to get close to jihoon first
after entering a new semester, your class got reshuffled and you finally got into the same art class as jihoon
once you entered class and see jihoon over there, you got reminded of your revenge
seeing how the seat is empty beside him, you took this opportunity to start getting close to jihoon
"is this seat taken?" you fake a smile
"no, please go ahead"
from the way he coldly replied, you thought this is harder than you thought
just then, your teacher came in and started the class
"who didn't bring their shading pencils today?" your teacher questioned
"oh shit, where are my pencils? i can't find them" you heard jihoon grumbled while digging through his bag
"i'll lend you mine, here you go" you sneakily gave jihoon the pencil and save him from the punishment
"thanks!"
with that, class carried on
and while jihoon is drawing, you would compliment how amazing his drawing is so he would feel flattered
"thanks for saving me just now, y/n. here's your pencil" jihoon started off
"if you really want to thank me, treat me a drink" you joked
little did you know, jihoon really did buy you a drink during lunch time
not only that, he even asked if he could join you for lunch
just within that short 30 mins, you guys got to know one another better
you could tell jihoon started getting interested in you when he asked questions about your love life
"i'm single, jihoon" you smiled
"and why did you ask?"
"i just wanted to know if i stand a chance" he flashed a smile
you smiled not because he is interested
but because you can tell he is going fall for you
you just got to continue flirting with him so you can get his heart
and the next moment, you know you'll be dumping him
you placed your hand in front of him
"your phone please"
"you got my number now"
"of course you stand a chance, your face is handsome enough to stand chance" you winked at him, leaving him in shock
school soon ended and while you're on your way home, everything that happened today popped into your mind
getting jihoon in your hands is actually easier than you thought
"things are starting to roll" you smirked as you read jihoon's text message
"hey, it's me, jihoon"
you replied and played along with his game
not only that, you kept asking about his love life, making him want to fall for you
"it is such a pity to hear that you're single, how could you be single?" you got chills as you write that
that is absolutely so gross
never in your life that you will say such cringe-worthy words
but to let jihoon fall into your trap, you know you have to do it
you guys carried on talking through the night
and before you know it, it is already 1 am
you didn't realize the time while you were talking to jihoon and his life
you actually got lost while talking to jihoon?
"what am i doing? i'm supposed to make him get interested in me, not the other way round" you panicked
"i can't do this, i need to stick to my plan"
"stick to your plan, y/n! don't be a fool and get tricked by him" you gave yourself a few slaps on your face
"don't make the same mistake tomorrow... no more" those are the last few words you said before you drift off to sleep
but when the next day arrives, you unconsciously made the same mistake again
you started talking more and more to jihoon
what's worse is that jihoon is an extrovert
you enjoy being around extroverts because they could continue talking for hours
for some reason, you like sticking around jihoon
he made you feel happy despite of the stress from school
and shortly after a few days of being around with jihoon, he confessed
you completely didn't expect that
"y/n... i don't know how you feel around me but i'm sure of mine"
"i know this might sound crazy because we only started talking recently but... i like you, y/n"
instead of feeling happy, you got confused instead
you stopped your footsteps and stared into space
should you feel happy that jihoon finally likes you and you could dump him soon?
or should you feel confused because you enjoy being with jihoon and your feelings are going against your own plans?
that's when you realized how much trouble you have gotten yourself with
"i-i got to go now, jihoon" without hearing him, you ran away
you know jihoon is chasing you but you didn't want to face jihoon anymore
what has jihoon done to you?
you always wanted to him to confess so you can wreck his heart and get revenge for hyunjoo
but... now that he has done it, why don't you have the heart to say it anymore?
in the past, you wouldn't hesitate to curse and swear at park jihoon
and now?
you find yourself hesitating, just like a coward
although you didn't want to admit, you know you have fallen for him
deeply and completely
"what am i gonna do now" you messed up your hair
"since i started this game, i should finish it" you sighed
you know you still have to come clean with jihoon one day
you can't possibly run away from jihoon, definitely not after he confessed
that night alone made your heart so heavy that you couldn't sleep well
that's when you decided to meet him tomorrow night
with that, you decided to text jihoon and tell him face to face
or rather, hurt him face to face
"y/n! what's up" jihoon come running towards you, with a smile on his face
you gulped nervously, knowing that his smile will soon fade after hearing what you got to say
"i wanted to tell you about the confession you made" you lowered your head
"and... you're gonna accept me right?" jihoon asked as he takes your hands into his
"no... you have just been a game all these while, jihoon. i wanted to break your heart and get revenge for hyunjoo" you said as you clenched your teeth
"i'm sorry, jihoon" you remove his hands from yours
you resisted all those tears that are threatening to fall
and before you could break down in front of jihoon, you decided it is better to just walk away
"no no no, y/n. please tell me it is all a joke right? you like me too right?" jihoon blocked you
that's it
all those tears came running down your face and yet, you still have to carry on
"no... i don't, jihoon" you looked at him while having your tears rolling down
you hated yourself so much at that moment
you could see how hard jihoon wants to deny it
you thought this has been a good plan all these while... until your feelings started getting involved
this goodbye is indeed the hardest to say
after you got home, you poured your eyes out
you have no idea how much you wanted to run back to jihoon and tell him your true feelings
what makes your heart hurt more than anything else is that you just hurt someone that you... love
you have never felt this empty before
and just when you thought that night is the worst, the subsequent days are even worse
jihoon hasn't been texting you ever since
even in school, you tried your best to avoid him
because whenever you got reminded of jihoon, all you could feel is guilt and love
your feelings for him continued to grow although it shouldn't
and honestly, you know you don't deserve to see him
definitely not after hurting him
"you just got to hang in there and the feelings will fade" you reminded yourself
but day after day
weeks after weeks
that pain in your heart continued to grow
it is so tough to go through each day, knowing that you couldn't see jihoon
you missed him like crazy
and you really want to run back to him
"you will get through this" you convinced yourself once more
although you don't know how, but you still got to pull through
just when you thought things are going to be okay, until you saw jihoon
you're about to go home and jihoon is going home too
the both of you made eye contact
you just didn't know how to react
but when jihoon broke that eye contact and started walking away
it's you that is running towards him now
"i can't do this anymore, jihoon. i love you so much that it hurts" you gave him a back hug, not wanting the chance to slip away
"i always thought that it is easy to break your heart but as time goes by, my feelings developed"
"i'm sorry, jihoon. i'm really sorry for pushing you away" you sobbed
even though you conveyed everything you wanted to say, but you don't have that confidence to say that jihoon would come back
especially not after what you have done
but that's your punishment
"it's okay, y/n. i deserve this heartbreak... i learned not to let anyone go"
"now that you're back, i'm not going to hurt you"
"i'm so glad that you're back here in my arms, y/n"