mind over matter - theodore nott

o1. never noticed

NEVER NOTICED

The first day of sixth year had arrived. After five years of going to this school you'd except me to be used to having yet another first day back; I wasn't. This was the point when my anxiety overflows my brain, filling every lonely corner possible of my overcrowded mind and claiming it as it's own. The thought of going back to school made me a wreck. Yes, I had to admit there are a few minor details that make school that slight bit better but nothing more other than those.

The summer of 96' was over, and term had creeped back in. My entire well-being had become a train wreck over the everlasting summer; even ending up with me being targeted by depression on only the second week in. I had no control over it, I didn't know what to do to force any of it away. Honestly, I never even made an effort to force it away. I was a lost cause. But even though I was anxiously forcing my way through life, a part of me felt like if there was nothing wrong with my mental health or well-being, I wouldn't be me.

The slytherin common room was bustling with first years eager to learn, bright smiles worn upon their young faces as they chattered amongst themselves about their lessons that day and what they think hogwarts life will be like. As you looked around at the other years, the higher the year, the lower the enthusiasm. Second years were still joyful but also starting to dread school. Third years were old enough to catch onto the darkness that was beginning to take over the castle, but pushed those negative thoughts aside as education seemed more important in the present. A large group of fourth year girls gossiped in the corner of the room, giggling whilst covering their mouths with their hands implying that their whispering a secret to the other blushing girls. The fifth years were more secluded, travelling around in smaller groups of two's and fours, keeping to themselves as the dark forces slowly scavenged their twisty ways into the surrounding castle grounds. Us sixth years had found our places in the ridiculously old-fashioned class system by now, most of us too stuck-up to even linger near those of another class, very much like first years except we had real reasons now. The seventh years were the most acknowledgeable of the events that were to occur in the near future, desperate to escape the danger unfolding and wanting to explore the world before it was too late.

I couldn't care less who I was friends with when it came to blood types and places in society, I believed that it was all a pathetic excuse to discard of lower classes and bring superiority over purebloods and the rich.

As I sat by only real friend I had on the worn leather sofas in our beloved common room, I wondered what this year was going to bring us. I used to be a part of a group, me, Lenora, Clara, Daphne, Isabelle, and Pansy until an unresolved conflict between Lena and Pansy became an issue in the group, resulting in us to just not be friends anymore like the flick of a switch. Of course, we still talked here and there, we were still allies and got along but just not in a group. It just didn't work anymore. Five years ago I wouldn't have been able to picture us apart. Hell, I even imagined us getting a house together and growing old. But, hey, that's eleven year old me talking, not sixteen year old me. They're two completely different people.

My wonders were soon interrupted by Lena nudging my elbow before standing up from the sofa. "Come on, we need to go down for breakfast." The dark-haired slytherin stated, smoothing out her skirt and making sure it wasn't folded at the back from sitting on the leather sofa for over ten minutes. Lena and I became friends on our first day of first year, we didn't talk much, only a few words here and there as we sat next to each other in defence against the dark arts; it was honestly very awkward. However, it didn't take us long to finally warm up to each other. She was my first friend here, followed closely by the other four girls. They each gradually moulded their ways into my lives, and we became a little group. It was a nice group we had, a lot of laughs and good memories made. But nothing lasts forever. And I learnt that the hard way. I sometimes thought that maybe forever was a word made for memories and not people.