mind over matter - theodore nott

o4. not in a thousand years

NOT IN A THOUSAND YEARS

Never in my life had I experienced such curiosity for a person than I had for Theodore Nott. I admitted to the fact that we had only known each other for a couple of weeks or so, but something in his dark blue eyes made me want to know everything about him; they were full of mysteries and secrets. A part of me so desperately wanted to get over him, battling the constant thought of him not even acknowledging my existence. I just wanted to know what he thought of when our eyes met, the first thing that came to mind when he saw me. My anxious thoughts continuously told me that he just thought I had a staring problem or some shit like that.

Maybe, it was all an illusion. The him looking at me as well.

The day was going by quicker than I had thought it would, lunch already crossing my path. I met up with Lena in the hall after we both had separate classes the previous period, and a certain pair of eyes were glued to me. From the moment I walked into the room, until the moment I sat down I could feel them. But, those eyes didn't belong to the person I unwillingly expected them to belong to. No. They belonged to the person I had always had a slight hatred for, mostly because he was just a walking ick, in my opinion anyway. Cormac McLaggen. He was one for constantly flirting with the ladies of Hogwarts, seeming to be quite desperate, taken from the words and actions he used in his flirtatious ways. Something about him though had never sat right with me. Maybe it was the way he glared at you if he was aiming to get into your pants, or whatever. I'd recently heard that him and Hermione Granger had a small thing going on. This surprised me, strangely, as I had thought that her and Weasley had always had a thing going on, I honestly thought that a lot of people thought the same thing; but who was I to know what the acts of 'love' consisted of?

Cormac kept his unwanted gaze upon me, and I couldn't help but look his way. He gave me a smirk in which he obviously thought was attractive but to me, was one of the things that made me dislike the boy. As I had realised in the past three weeks that only one smirk could ever make me feel something which sparked rarity inside of me that I never thought I could possibly feel in my warm yet ice-cold, lifeless body. A smirk belonging to a slytherin.

I quickly turned away from him and distracted myself by talking to my best friend, Lenora Degarmo; whom I had thought also had a thing going on with Cormac, he had always seemed to have a fancy for Lena, but she had barely felt anything towards him. "Are you going to that party in the ravenclaw common room on saturday?" She asked in an almost-whisper, being careful of not speaking too loudly around Filch who was waddling down the hall to the large, double-doors.

"Probably, depends if you are." I responded, consciously wiping away excess mascara which I had thought was underneath my eyes but most likely was not. My unfocused attention was drawn towards the two boys sitting opposite us on the long tables, the other slytherin boy sliding in beside Lena, as he had previously done two days ago during our short walk back from the library.

Why the fuck were they sitting with us?

"Hey, Lenora, are we still up for studying tonight?" Malfoy pondered the simple question as I wondered what do with my awkward self sitting at a table with three boys who had just interrupted mine and Lena's uninteresting conversation.

I decided to pretend I was distracted to hide the third-wheeling awkwardness I felt, looking down at my lap and beginning to pick my short nails whilst Lena forced an answer, "Yes, of course."

"Great." He shortly followed this by, "How 'bout the three of you do something whilst we-" He was cut off by a certain someone approaching us, all eyes immediately shooting to look at the figure standing beside us. Honestly, I'd rather that Malfoy had finished his sentence than have Mister Philandering McLaggen show up smugly behind me. I could sense his presence as all eyes were on him, before a hand came past my right side, resting on the table we sat at. Theodore's tired eyes immediately glared at Cormac behind me, his jaw clenching as they did so. And I can't lie, it was more attractive than it was supposed to be, if it was even supposed to be attractive at all. I pressed my lips together and turned to look up at Cormac who was almost on top of me with the minimum amount of needed space that was left between us. The question 'What the fuck is he doing here?' repeated over five times in my head as he hovered around our table.

"Hey." Cormac greeted with his unwelcome presence. I honestly couldn't care less if he was over here, but the fact that he was speaking to me made me want to get up and leave straight away. But, I didn't, because the idea of attention being drawn to me in the slightest was something I dreaded the most.

"Hi." I bluntly replied, not showing any emotions on my face whatsoever other than plainness. He didn't take my blunt reply to heart though, carrying on with his smug ways and speaking for the second time.

"Want to accompany me to the ravenclaw party, love?" The way he called me 'love' made me sick to my stomach. He creeped me the fuck out and even the thought of him speaking to me made me feel uneasy in so many ways. He was such a player as well, getting with every girl he possibly could. He was fucking desperate.

"I don't need a date to get in, McLaggen." I oh so kindly objected to his suggestion that wasn't even slightly asked for by anyone. His smirk faded marginally but he managed to keep it on his face, annoyingly.

"Oh, come on, we'll have fun." This time his statement was spoken with a quieter input, probably not wanting the surrounding slytherin students to hear him get rejected by a victim of his flirtatious ways; which I found severely strange since no one ever asked me out, like ever. I was so used to being ignored by boys, or even being made fun of by them. This year was different though, it was as if a summer could change someone that much that all of the boys who once thought she was revolting now thought she was a prized possession to fight over. Literally.

However, there was one thing I knew for sure. And that was that I would never have anything remotely to do with Cormac, not in a thousand years.

"God, McLaggen, just take 'no' as a fucking answer and be on your prissy little way." Theodore's unexpected voice surprised me. In fact, it seemed as though it surprised every single one of us six. Even him. He didn't look at me as I turned to him, instead his gaze was fixed on Mclaggen, watching as he made his snobbish way back over to the gryffindor table which sat my old friend, Ivy Harlestone.

There were a few glances shared between the few of us at our taken table, but Theodore's eyes never seemed to leave Cormac, glaring at him as he casually sat back with his friends and began to eat. My eyes never met anyone's either, not wanting to take them off of Theodore, who looked somewhat angry under the continuous amount of mysteries yet to be explained laying underneath his smooth skin that I confusingly adored. Not another word was spoken by Theodore and I for the rest of lunch. I tried to ignore what had just happened though, my annoying voice inside my head constantly telling me that it meant nothing, it was all just a useless pass-time.

Theodore's actions confused me sometimes, but I guess if I wanted to get to know him, I'd figure out why, right?

I still had to figure him out. I wanted to explore the unsolved riddles that he held in his eyes. I wanted to know about his past. I wanted to know about his present. I wanted to know about his future. I wanted to know what ran through that secretive little mind of his. I wanted to know if he thought of me when we weren't together, or ever, for that matter. I wanted to talk to him. I wanted late nights on the astronomy tower with him. I wanted everything he was and more. I just wanted to know him better. Even after the little things, him holding the door for me, the ever-lasting moments when our eyes met, and just then, the thing Lena later on suggested was jealousy. I wanted it all.