Its Okay to Trust //Tomboo//

//Chapter 51//

Quick Note: Yeah, ik I put Chalter 51 :(

Ranboo POV

I just finished my letter. I folded it in half and then got up from my desk. I left my room and took a deep breath. Then I looked up to see Tommy staring back at me. It appeared we'd both finished.

I awkwardly laughed, "Guess we finished at the same time, huh?"

He nodded, "Seems that way."

We met each other in the middle of the hall.

"So much for leaving them at the door." I chuckled.

We switched letters. Tommy cleared his throat, "So uhm...Should we just go read them?"

I nodded, "Yeah."

I walked to my room door and just as I was about to turn the nob and walk in, Tommy hugged me tightly from behind. His face was against my back as he mumbled, "In case we lose something. I want you to know...I'm glad I met you."

I blushed a light pink then turned around so I could hug him, "I'm glad I met you."

We parted and then went to our seperate rooms. I immediately went and sat on my bed then opened the letter to read.

"My beloved Ranboo,

Thanks for letting me be able to write this out to you. I hate fighting and I really just want to get my point across.

First I want to explain why I was so scared to date you or even go out with you.

When I first saw you, you were in bed shirtless, abs shown, ear buds in. You were bold, determined, extremely good looking, and I knew you'd be...intresting.

Immediately you thought I was handsome or as you put it- beautiful. You had me blushing, heating up, and giving me serious nerves. I liked you and I was definetly attracted to you. I didn't make it obvious though. Instead I hid behind a wall. I told myslef I'd never trust a man older then me, because all they've shown me is bad. All they ever wanted me for was my body- sex. I figured that was all you wanted too.

So I shuned you from my heart...I kept you at a distance.

Then that time you almost y'know which I forgive you for by the way- Though you proved me like- 90% correct. And so I didn't take that wall down. I felt it was...protecting me. From what?- Well growing feelings. Which obviously failed...

I grew to like you even more. I even started to become jealous over the smallest of things. I couldn't stand seeing you with anyone else- still can't. My wall didn't work, you were breaking your way through day by day. You were so persistent and determined to get a date. So I gave you the ultimatum. I figured there was no way you'd win. And once you lost, you'd stop trying. Which would help me lose feelings. Then I kissed you! And boy do we have chemistry, huh? I mean- I was all over you from there. And we went on that amazing date....Had our incredible make out sessions.

Then that person got in my ear. Now I'm not sure if you'll believe me, but I'm gonna tell you everything.

Have you ever heard of Angels hour?- I haven't, until that day when I left your bed to go to my own. I saw a man I'd never seen before, but it felt as if I'd always known him. His name is Wilbur- Now I know what your thinking. 'The cat!? Well that's crazy!' I know, I know but look- He's my guardian angel, and he's like a brother almost. Well, he told me, 'It's okay to trust.' Now this really confused me so I tried trusting James on that date and....I was mistaken in doing so cause uh- well y'know.

Anyways, then as things between us were finally getting good he came back and told me I was leading someone on. I automatically figured it was you I was leading on. Which was foolish of me, cause it was obvious how I felt about you. It was more like I wanted to believe it was you he was referring to...when it wasn't. I was leading on James and I was really meant to be with you. I've only realized that lately.

I went out with him cause I thought I'd grow to like him and my feelings for you would fade because I was frightened by love. I was wrong to be scared though, huh? Cause Ranboo....I trust you. With my life, with my brother. You've proven yourself to me and I'm so ready to be with you.

Ranboo, you've broken down my walls. You completely stole my heart. And once I excepted my feelings for you....Well now I just want to be all over you.

I want the relationship. The physical and emotional connection. The strings and the labels. I want a real relationship that can open opportunities to more. A future together, yknow?

Anyway....I guess I'm afraid you won't want to take us seriously like I do. But I realize now, that I'm wrong. Cause if you love me, then certainly you must want a potential life with me...right?- God I hope so.

Ranboo, you know what I did before...and it really traumatized me. It took away my pride and my dignity. Men called me names like whore, hoe, and....slut. I can't believe I'm telling you all this, but I am. I was disrespected and treated like nothing. My self worth is something I felt I could never get back. I'd never see my self as anything more than a broke slut.

You gave my self worth back to me though. The way you treated me...It was like I was a golden trophy on a display case. Like I was this grand prize that deserved everything. I thought, wow. If someone like him can think something like that about me...Then I must be something, right? So I started to believe I was all that. Honestly.....I think it got to me. Cause I started to use the way you felt for me against you. And I shouldn't have. I'm sorry. But I will thank you for helping me feel good about myself again. Cause now I don't think I'm lower then anyone or above anyone. I know my self worth and it's thanks to you.

Part of it is why I knew sex with you wasn't gonna strip me of that again. Which is why I felt comfortable enough with letting you do it to me and comfortable in participating in sexual behavior with you.....I love you Ranboo. Not for your body or the way you can give me pleasure- For the way you make me feel...which is good. Not the uhm physical way- Not that that isn't also good!- Its amazing, incredible really. Sorry! Not the point- uhm I mean like emotionally how you make me feel.

Safe, loved, accepted, un-judged, valued. You gave me back my self worth.

You keep telling me I don't love you- but you don't get to decide that for me. I'm not saying anything out of pity, or lieing about my feelings because I want to have sex with you or to keep getting attention. Now...I just want you to know how I truly feel.

I'm madly inlove with you Ranboo. Please hear me out and forgive me for my wrongs.

Love,
Tommy"

I wiped my face of tears and got under my covers. I felt bad for making him hide away, but I was also really happy he was inlove with me.

We're inlove.

1,280 words
Thank you for reading :)
Later ya'll! <3