Rose Red

Heat stroke

104k??? you guys :((( y'all make me so happy. I wanna do something for you but I don't know what :/

After a short little three hour mall trip we finally get back home. "I'm just saying. That wouldn't have happened if you actually ate before we left." I pout at him. "Walking in the heat was a split second decision and I wasn't hungry when we left."

He looks over at me with a less than amused expression before nodding. Auggie is currently upset with me because of my anemia. I didn't eat or drink anything after breakfast and I got super light headed and nauseous. I didn't throw up this time but he could see the warning signs.

"Auggie," He looks over at me. "You still mad at me?" He shakes his head. "But you're not talking to me?" He shakes his head again. "But it kinda seems like you aren't."

He just stares at me before continuing his walk up the stairs. I pout before calling out for him. "Auggie~" He glances back down at me. "You're not talking because?"

He stares for a couple seconds and I can tell he's debating with himself. "Because I am still a little upset and I don't want to say anything stupid." I nod my head. "Fifteen minutes?" He makes a face and my eyebrows raise.

"Longer?!" He moves his head in a kind of way. "An hour?" He glances at me before turning back and nodding his head. An hour. He wants an hour to himself. No interaction. Just him, calming down.

It's not a rare occurrence but it's also not common. I'm not just making him mad all the time but it's rarely this long. I'll be okay.

I could read a book. I could clean. I could play a game. I could start a puzzle. I could take a forty five minute shower so that when I get out he'll only have about seven minutes left....

I think I'll do that.

You never realize that after being with someone every waking minute of everyday that you start to depend on them. And not in a "he does everything for me so I completely forgot how to do things in my own" way, but a "I can't sit here and watch tv by myself because I've become so accustomed to having someone with me" way.

Or "I can't just sit around and read a book for hours and hours by myself because I'm so used to having the weight of someone on my lap." You become accustomed to doing things with someone and all the sudden you can't ever do the things you once did alone....alone.

Spending the last eight months with someone by your side for every little thing you do is nice but I can't help but to fear for our future. And I say our like it's a thing we'll be doing together but one can only hope.

And on that note I'm going to stop thinking so heavily and take a nice, hot shower.

When I get out I dry off and pull my hair into one long braid down the middle, before pulling on my pajamas. A mintish green crop top with an ugly frog on a mushroom and some plaid green shorts.

I also slide my feet into socks before making my way back to my bed. At first I was keeping track of how much longer he had and then I got so distracted by the relaxing feeling of the hot water that I forgot.

All that too say I have no idea how much longer I have to suffer by myself. I wish it was only seconds but I know that's probably not true.

When I lived by myself I could take hour long showers but after a little while of living with auggie, I couldn't ever bring myself to be more than half an hour. I knew that he liked to be by me at all times so I kind of just stopped being away from him.

Once again, this is where the codependency comes in.

I quickly shake my head to rid myself of these very serious thoughts before grabbing my lotion and beginning to moisturize.

"Why is your foot on the wall?" I jump before looking back at auggie. "Because I'm moisturizing and it's easier like this. You wouldn't know anything about moisturizing." His jaw drops in mock shock.

"I'll have you know that I have a very strict face routine." I give him an incredulous look. "That's because I gave it to you!" He smirks before walking over to me.

"Do you feel better now?" He nods. "Ready to talk?" He makes a face before slightly sucking his teeth. "I know. You don't like communicating but it makes us better people." His face goes blank and I blink a couple times.

After a few seconds of just giving him an "okay now talk" face he sighs and slightly rolls his eyes.

"I...." He pauses like he's trying to find the words. "Want you stop endangering yourself when we go out." My face morphs to a thinking face. "Getting over heated is hardly "endangering" myself, auggie."

"But heat stroke is."

My brows shoot up. "You think I almost got heat stroke? No, Augs. This happens a lot. I over heat and then I eat and get something to drink and I'm fine." His face doesn't change. "You are on the brink of heat stroke each of those times, Bella and I want you to stop."

I purse my lips but before I can speak he starts. "All I ask is that if we're going to be out for long periods of time in this heat that you bring snacks or something." That's not too much to ask. I'm not sure why I'm even trying to argue this. He just wants me to eat. Not throw up and almost pass out.

"Okay." He nods his head and says, "Okay?" and I nod back.

"So...." I glance up at him before going back to rubbing lotion on my arm. When we were talking I stopped so I didn't seem occupied. "Do you even want dinner or were your nuggets and fries enough?"

I think for a couple seconds. I could see myself getting hungry later but I feel like I'll be asleep before then. "At the moment I'm fine." He cocks his head. "Are you sure? You didn't eat much today and I know we had nasty breakfast but you ate it so fast that I doubt you even tasted it."

I giggle at that. It was really gross. "Yea I'm sure. I don't see myself eating any time soon." I stare at his face for a couple seconds. "But are you asking me because you're hungry? Because if you are I can make something." He shakes his head.

"No, im good. Just wanna make sure you're not starving or anything." I squint at him. "Mhm. Well I'm gonna go make a couple grilled cheese sandwiches. Ya know? Just in case someone in this house is hungry." He nods in a way that says "you do that." and I smile.

And if that night I walked back into the kitchen to see him eating them standing at the counter? Who knows. Maybe I was dreaming because he wasn't hungry right?