Rose Red

Lolita

Bella's POV

I get home safely and run to my door. Even though I slept in the hospital I can feel myself moving slower due to fatigue. I quickly change into a silky short and tank top set. And as soon as my head hits the pillow I'm out.
-
Sunday

I wake up around 10 am and just stare at the ceiling. What will the atmosphere be like at work? Will floor 3 be back to normal by Monday? Will August want to see me? Will he end our....whatever we have? Will my nose stop running by tomorrow? Probably not. Will my eyes be any less itchy? Most likely not. Will I still go and act like everything is fine?

Yes.

I grab a t shirt, some shorts and a pair of underwear before getting into the shower since I wasn't capable of taking one last night. These past couple days have been the longest days ever. As I'm standing under the hot water letting it hit my back I begin to think. Which is never a good thing. Shower thoughts are almost always bad. This time though I think my regular thoughts and shower thoughts are on the same page. When I got out I decided to write them all down.

Keep interactions with August to a minimum.
Fridays are just regular days of the week.
Do not under any circumstances fall deeper in like with this man.
Invest in some prettier shower curtains
Ones that don't leave me exposed to murderers/burglars (non-transparent!!)
And lastly, try and be happy for Aaron and Isabel.

I looked the list over a couple times and they all seemed possible except for the impossible one.

"Try and be happy for Aaron and Isabel"

How was I supposed to do that? Pretend for the entire babies life that I don't have certain mild feelings of hatred for her mother? I don't dislike her for falling in love and having a baby. I dislike her for the way she looked at me when she told me who's baby it was. I dislike her for the smirk she couldn't wipe off her face while I had tears in my eyes. I dislike her for every time she saw my best friend telling us how much she hated him and i and then having his baby. I dislike her because even though falling in love with someone and motherhood are two very precious things part of me believes she did this just to spite me. I also hate myself for that. Isabel is a lot of things but she isn't the type of person to have a baby with someone just because she knows it will hurt someone else's feelings.
-
Monday

I woke up, rolled over and stopped my alarm before seeing that it was my backup alarm and I missed the first one. I quickly pull my uniform on, grab my keys, phone and purse and run to my car.
-
When I get into work I have a permanent pout on my face. Danny sees this and comes over to me. "What happened baby Bell?" I give him a glare that most likely isn't intimidating at all with a pout but begin to explain. "Last night I went to sleep a little late" a little late meaning 11. Which isn't late at all but I'm usually asleep about an hour after I get off work. By 9:30 I'm out like a light. "so I didn't wake up to my first alarm and I had to hurry and get ready which means that I didn't have time to shower and you know how much I love to shower." I shower a lot. It's something I enjoy doing. Even if I'm not dirty. Before work. After work. Every morning. Every night. During the day if I feel dirty. Sometimes just for fun because I love the way it feels. "I also didn't get to eat or grab my water bottle. Waking up late also means-" and as if on cue I sneeze twice in a row. "I didn't get to take my allergy medicine"

He gives me a look of sympathy before stepping back and patting my head. "You also forgot to tie your hair up" He gives me a smile and leaves. Nooo. I turn and look in a little mirror hanging by our lockers. I did forget to tie my hair up and I don't have any hair ties. If the sanitation nurse sees me I'll be in trouble for sure. My hair is too long to have down at work.
-
I've gone almost half the day without seeing Clare or the sanitation nurse and I've only seen August once. Through the door. And he was asleep so technically I haven't really seen him. I'm doing so well.

And then I see Clare on the other side of my hall. I quickly dip into a room and start a conversation with the patient. "Why are you back so soon bella?" I give him a sly smile. "Well, I just saw Clare and I'd rather not run into her today" He nods his head at me. "Oh I understand" Just then a male nurse pokes his head in the room and gets my attention. I turn around and look at him and smile. "Sorry bella, Clare is looking for you. Says she needs help" He gives me a look of sympathy and I simply pout and nod my head. I turn to the man laying in bed and say goodbye before heading into the hallway.

She immediately sees me and comes stomping over. I wonder if she knows she can just walk. I still know she's coming towards me even if I can't hear her. She finally gets in front of me and I put on my best smile. "Hi Clare. Eli said you were looking for me?" She crosses her arms and stares at me.

If she could go just a little bit faster that would be nice. I have patients and I'm still avoiding the sanitation nurses but I have no idea where they are anymore. Due to the small little time consuming game that is avoiding Clare as well I have lost sight of them. My smile drops a little as I continue to look at her. Then she smiles. "Arabella Quinn. Goody two shoes. Never not smiling. Always happy. Lolita at its peak. Miss sunshine." She pauses and drops her smile completely. "Annoying bitch." I take a small step back. "We all know this happy little virgin act is just that. An act. But for some reason everyone just goes along with it and accepts it."

I have no idea what's happening.

"Including a certain war veteran. A young, hot war veteran at that" She puts her hands down and balls them into fists. Please don't let me get hit. I can't fight. "Said veteran has taken a liking to you and no matter how many times I try to change his mind," How many times has she tried? What exactly did she try? What does she mean a liking? "He still doesn't want me! I am down here now! Because said veteran would like to speak with you"

I quickly nod my head and walk away from her. I don't get very far before I'm being pulled back by my shoulder. "I don't want you to get your hopes up. Sooner or later he's going to realize what he really wants. And it's not going to be a fucking virgin" Why does she feel the need to keep throwing that in my face? I'm pretty sure my whole floor knows I'm a virgin at this point. And it's nothing to be ashamed of!

I realize that I'm still just standing in the hall and that she's gone so I quickly make my way up the stairs forgetting how many stairs it is.