Never Ending Heartbeats

Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Farewell

When did I start to beg? I think the time when I beg that Lea will answer my calls after knowing what happen. Nagmaakaawa ako na sana sagutin niya ang tawag ko and everything is just a prank but it didn't happen. I beg when I heard about what will happen to Tito. Nagmaakawa ulit ako na sana mas humaba pa yung buwan na binigay ng doctor sa kanya but just like before, it didn't happen.

The last time I beg was when Marco suddenly disappear. I beg for him to come back kahit na alam kong hindi niya yun alam. I grew up not begging because I know I can get everything at binibigay sa'kin ang lahat not until I face the reality.

It's the reality that I will always end up begging, just like how I am begging right now in front of the man that left me. Gusto kong gawin ang lahat para lang itigil niya ang mga sinasabi niya sa'kin kasi sobrang sakit na nakikita kong hindi na yung Marco noon ang kaharap ko.

"You are mad, I get that. Simula makita kita ulit alam kong ang tindi ng galit mo sa'kin. Until now, I am confused. Ganun na ba talaga katindi ang ginawa ko para magalit ka sa'kin ng ganyan? Kung ganun man, please just tell me what is it." I said and wipe my tears in front of him.

Huminga na lang ako ng malalim ng tingnan niya lang ako na parang ako ang binabasa siya samantalang siya hindi ko na mabasa. Kung noon sobrang dali sa'kin na malaman ang nararamdaman niya sa salita niya pa lang pero ngayon parang alam niya nay un kaya pinipilit niyang wag sumagot sa'kin.

I feel like he got to know that I can feel what he is feeling through his voice. Kahit naman na wag siyang magsalita alam ko ng isang malamig na tinig mula sa kanya ang maririnig ko.

My warm was gone. There is no warm in him anymore.

"You don't want to talk to me? Even see me? Marco, I just want to try. Gusto ko lang gawin ang lahat ng kaya ko para sa'yo."

"What can you really do for me, Zemira? Do you think it will be worth it knowing that even how hard you try nothing will change anymore?"

"There is, I will make sure something will change. Ikaw lang ang nagbago, Marco. I know that the man I know is still inside you. I will make sure my Marco will come back, mark my words." I said while looking at him.

Sobrang nahihirapan na ako dahil nararamdaman ko naman talaga na ayaw niya na at nauubusan na din ako ng pag-asa dahil yun ang pinapakita niya sa'kin. Gusto ko ng tumigil pero habang iniisip ko kung ano ang magiging kapalit at makukuha ko pag pinilit ko ang gusto ko mas lalo kong nagugustuhan na gawin ang lahat para sa kanya.

I will do my best to make my Marco came back. I will take my warm back.

Ngumiti na lang ako sa kanya bago ayusin yung bag ko at naglakad paalis pero nakakailang hakbang pa lang ako ng marinig ko siyang magsalita.

"Where are you going?" He asked. Nakatalikod pa din ako sa kanya kaya hindi niya nakita kung anong ngiti ang meron sa labi ko ngayon.

When I look at him there is no expression on his face but I am smiling kaya nakita ko kung paano kumunot yung noo niya.

"I have something to do at the agency and I also have my rehearsals. Want to come with me?" I asked him at nakita ko naman kung paano siya umiwas ng tingin sa'kin.

"Why would I? I just asked because I don't want to be responsible because I am the last one you meet. I don't want trouble here, I don't want to stay here for long."

"I didn't know, marunong ka pa palang magsalita ng ganyan kahaba, Marco Jael." I said not minding the pain in my chest dahil sa sinabi niya.

There he is again with the word 'responsible'. I never asked him to be responsible of me from the very start anyway. I never want to be his responsible dahil siya ang nagkusa pero parang pinapalabas niya na ako ang nagsabi nun, like I let him do that.