Never Ending Heartbeats

Chapter 11

Chapter 11 

Kiss 

I know that before Marco came into my life pangarap ko na ang bagay na 'to and I should be happy that I am near on reaching my dream but it all change when Marco Jael came into my life. He give more meaning to my dream. 

Marco gave me more courage to do well because I know he is just there for me, giving me smile and support. Sobrang halaga na sa'kin ng pangarap na meron ako pero mas binigyan niya yun ng halaga pa dahil alam ko na yung pangarap na meron ako ay yung klase ng pangarap na katulad ng sa kanya. 

Gusto ko maging masaya dahil napili ako at alam ko that Marco will be happy for me but I don't know what to feel. I don't want to feel sorry dahil alam ko na hindi niya magugustuhan yun but I hate that I am the only one that got accepted. 

"Ate? Okay ka lang?" Dahil sa pagkatulala ko hindi ko napansin na kasama ko na pala yung kapatid ko dito sa living room at nag-aalalang nakatingin sa'kin. He is looking at me like he knows what is on my mind. Ganun naman silang lahat tumingin sa'kin matapos ng lahat ng nangyari. 

They are all afraid that I will have my breakdown and got eaten by sadness by losing people in my life. Ang tingin nila sa'kin ay parang isang babasaging bagay na nakapwesto sa alanganin na lugar kaya todo tingin sila kasi baka bumagsak at mabasag at hindi na nila mabubuo pa. 

"O-Of course, I'm okay" I said, smiling at mabilis na nagpaalam sa kanya but I can feel him looking at me while I am walking up to my room. Sometimes I hate that my brother is also aging to the point that he is slowly maturing because he is not my brother who will just look at me with his innocent eyes dahil kayang-kaya niya na magbasa ng sitwasyon. 

Malapit na ang graduation ko sa junior high school at next year senior na din ako like Marco at the age of 17 I am near on reaching my dream but I am still in the middle of growing up. I will admit that I still have my immature side but because Marco is beside me I feel like I am also maturing just like him. 

To divert my attention I just seat on my study table and do my pending assignment and activities but even how much I tried diverting my self on other things nakikita ko na lang ang sarili ko na bigla natutulala in the middle of doing my school works. 

Hindi ko alam kung paano ko sasabihin kay Marco that I got accepted and the Rivera's are telling me to go to them next month which is February to talk about the details. I know Marco will be so happy for me if he heard about the news dahil siya na din naman ang nagsabi that whatever the result is he will support me. 

Ako lang talaga yung nasasaktan at nahihirapan ako lang ang natanggap. A part of me want to back out but also there is a part of me that want to persuade them to take Marco too with me. I know Marco won't like that but I am desperate because I want him with me. 

I remember Lea's word, kailangan kong masanay na ako lang dahil hindi naman habang buhay may kasama ako, I should also learn how to do everything by myself and got used on the fact that not every time someone will always be there for me, but how will I do that kung alam ko sa sarili ko that Marco really did become part of me. He is my home. Yung lagi kong babalikan at uuwian. He has a piece of my heart with him. I am not whole if he is not in my life. 

Pinili ko na lang na mahiga sa kama at iwan yung mga ginagawa ko dahil Sunday naman bukas at pwede kong gawin yun. I am just looking at the ceiling of my room and I smile when I saw the glow in the dark music notes sticker on my ceiling. It's a gift from Marco dahil alam niyang mahilig ako tumingin sa ceiling ng kwarto ko pag marami akong iniisip he bought that for me at pinalagay ko naman. 

"My music will always be with Marco." I whisper to myself and extend my hand like I am holding the music notes stick on the ceiling. 

Tulala lang ako when someone knock on my door and I saw my Dad kaya tumayo ako mula sa pagkakahiga ko at umayos ng upo at nakangiting inantay siya na makalapit sa'kin. He sat beside me before he hold my hand.