Never Ending Heartbeats

Chapter 20

Chapter 20 

Warm

Being with Marco and having him is the best thing that happen in my life. I have everything now. The fame, the love of other people, the support. It's everything I  dream of but I know it's not enough for me. 

Everything I got will turn into nothing when I will never have Marco Jael in my life again. 

I just want to do my best to get him back again but while looking at his eyes, years after of not seeing each other it makes me want to back out. The way he look at me is hurting me. It's painful to see him looking at me like he never wanted to see me again. 

While looking at him tears already fall in my eyes. I don't care if his friends will saw me crying, I just want to show him how much I miss him even thought that is not what I am seeing on his eyes right now. 

"Zemira, why are you here?" He's cold. I cannot feel the warm I use to feel before. All I can feel is nothing but the pain I am feeling. 

"M-Marco, I..." I stop by biting my lip while looking at him. 

Please, stop looking at me like that. Ang sakit na makitang nakatingin siya sa'kin na parang ayaw niya akong makita. How come I never think of what emotion he will show me. Ang alam ko lang kasi ay gusto kong makita at makausap ulit siya. 

I wipe my tears dahil ayoko ng dagdagan pa yung lamig na emosyon na pinapakita niya sa'kin. I tried my best to smile at him but he didn't smile back just like what he used to do. 

"You should've not show yourself in front of me again." I feel like a knife has been thrown at me because of what he said. 

The pain doubled when he turn his back at me leaving me and his friends. All of them are confused habang ako naman napaiyak na lang ulit bago siya sundan.

"Marco, wait. Please." I said while following him palabas ng bar. Ang laki ng hakbang niya kaya nahirapan akong habulin siya, isama pa nakasuot ako ng heels. 

When we go out of the bar malaya na akong nakatakbo agad palapit sa kanya dahil wala ng mga taong nakaharang. I hold his arms to stop him from walking. He easily remove my grip on his arms before he face me. 

Nang mas makita ko siya ng malapitan hindi ko na talaga alam kung ano ang mararamdaman ko. Ngayon pa lang nararamdaman kong sobrang laki talaga ng nagawa ko sa kanya para ganito siya sa'kin ngayon. 

Sa nakalipas na taon ang tanging gusto ko lang naman ay makita at makasama ulit siya at bumawi sa kung ano man ang nagawa ko, but while looking at him now I feel like he will not accept me on his life again. 

Nakakatawa lang na hindi ko naman pinili na umalis sa buhay niya dahil siya ang umalis sa buhay ko pero ako pa ang humihiling na tanggapin niya ngayon kahit na siya naman ang iniwan ako. 

I am sorry for not being with him while he is having a hard time. God knows ilang beses kong pinagsisihan na hindi niya ako kasama sa mga panahon na nahihirapan siya kaya kahit anong gawin ko hindi ko magawang magalit at sisihin siya kung bakit bigla niya na lang naisipan na umalis sa buhay ko ng ganun na lang. 

But I am willing to take him back. I am willing to do everything para bumalik lang kami sa dati at masabi ko sa kanya kung gaano siya kahalaga sa buhay ko. 

"How do you know?" 

Instead of answering him I am just looking at him examining his features. He is not the Marco who will smile at me because he is now the man who is looking with his cold expression. He is already handsome on my eyes before but years of not seeing him I saw how his face matured at kung paano mas naging define pa yung features niya. Mas lalong naging kamukha siya ng Papa niya noon, but the different is he look clean than his alcoholic father. May pagkamoreno siya noon but now makikita kong pumuti talaga siya and his body is now well built and his messy hair na bumagay sa kanya. He is wearing a simple white t-shirt that hug his body so well match with a necklace na nakatago sa loob yung pendant and a black pants.