Never Ending Heartbeats

Chapter 31

Chapter 31 

Someday 

He loves me. Hearing that coming from him at that time hurts me but at the same time it makes me happy because I know it's not just me who fall. That I love you from him gives me assurance. Pakiramdam ko hindi ko na kailangan pa marinig ang lahat ng dahilan niya dahil yung tatlong salitang yun lang ay sobrang sapat na para sa'kin. 

Iniisip ko yung mga panahon na nasayang namin dahil hindi namin nasabi sa isa't isa ang mga salitang mas makakapagpalinaw kung bakit kami nahihirapan. Kailangan lang pala naming tanggapin na kailangan naming matutong mabuhay ng wala ang isa't isa. 

Living away from each other makes us both realize how deep our love is. I am afraid that while waiting for that time he will lose his love for me and at the same time me to him. Time can be the biggest enemy too. 

We are not sure what the future plan for both of us but we both choose what is right as of the moment. He chooses his new life while I choose the never ending cheers of people. That is our choice for now. 

"Magkikita pa tayo next month." Carlo said. 

Nandito na kami sa airport and Carlo and Katie insist na ihahatid nila ako at si Marco naman nasa malayo mula sa'min at nakatingin lang. 

"What do you mean? Papapuntahin mo ulit ako dito next month?" I asked him. He messes my hair and laugh. 

"Baliw, ako ang pupunta sa'yo. It's her death anniversary next month. I will visit her for the first time after it happen kaya samahan mo ako." He said kaya hindi ko naman napigilan ang ngumiti sa kanya. 

I nod my head. "Sasamahan kita, let's visit her together. Matutuwa yun." 

Nagpaalam na din ako kay Katie na biglang umiyak na dahil mamimiss niya daw ako kaya sinabi ko na lang sa kanya na mag-usap na lang kami through call palagi dahil hindi ko talaga sure kung kailan ang magiging balik ko dito sa NYC. 

And also, I don't think I can face Marco again after what happen. Hindi ko alam na ganito pala kahirap ang malaman ang nararamdaman niya sa'kin. Mas lalong nakapagpahirap yung katotohanan na mahal man namin ang isa't isa hindi namin kayang sugalan ang isa't isa. 

He is afraid to enter my world because he thought that he will be my downfall while I am afraid to drag him away from the life that he have now because my world will end up judging him and my world is full of expectation and loud cheers. 

"You will come back ah." Katie said kaya tumango ako sa kanya at niyakap siya. 

I look at Marco's direction at nakatingin lang siya sa'min ni Katie. Napansin niya atang nakatingin ako sa kanya kaya nagtama ang mata naming dalawa. Unti-unti akong ngumiti sa kanya. 

"Zem, we need to go." Ate Ellaine said kaya napahiwalay na ako kay Katie. 

Kumaway na lang ako sa kanila at si Carlo naman ginulo na lang ulit ang buhok ko at sinabing magkita na lang kami next month at sasabihin niya na lang daw ako. When I look at Marco sa'kin na siya nakatingin. 

Habang nakatingin sa mata ng isa't isa parang kami lang ang tao sa buong airport at kahit ingay wala kaming naririnig. Masyado kaming nalulunod sa mata ng isa't isa na sobrang daming sinasabi. Our eyes is the one speaking, the thing that our lips can't do. 

"Wait for me until I set my life, until I can leave my past behind, until I feel like I am deserving of a shining star like you. Ako mismo ang pupunta sa'yo, Zemmie. Please, accept me if that time comes." 

That words of Marco came back to me while looking at his eyes. He tell it to me that day and after that wala na siyang sinabi pa and he just kiss my forehead. Wala akong nagawa kung hindi tumango lang sa sinabi niya habang umiiyak.