Never Ending Heartbeats

Chapter 10

Chapter 10 

Accepted 

When you lose someone a flashback of memories you spend with that person will come back to you like a replay to the point that memories will slowly become painful to you. Masakit dahil alam mo na hanggang alaala na lang ang meron ka. 

Nang mawala si Lea sobrang hirap na sa'kin na tanggapin dahil alam ko sa sarili ko na mahirap na mabuhay ng wala ang isang Leannie sa buhay ko but I manage to stand up with also the help of her and the people towards me. They help me accept what happen and make me see that I still have tomorrow to live even though Lea is not in that tomorrow anymore. 

But the moment the doctor said in front of me with my Tito beside me that he just have months to live pakiramdam ko lahat ng klase ng sakit binabato na sa'kin. Bigla kong naisip na kung mawawala si Tito sa'kin kakayanin ko pa ba? I cannot lose two important person in my life pero kahit anong gawin ko kailangan kong tanggapin ang lahat. 

Ang sakit lang na ang kailangan ko lang laging gawin ay tanggapin ang nangyayari. Wala akong choice kung hindi yun lang. Walang choices na pwedeng ibigay sa'kin dahil kahit anong gawin ko yun lang ang bagay na dapat kong gawin. I don't have any power to change what is meant to happen. 

Losing the Tito Noel makes me reminisce the time he is still with me. When I can still hear him call me Zemmie. When I can still see him smile while watching me and Marco in the music room secretly. 

I can remember how proud he is when Marco graduate in junior high school. It was before he got diagnosed again. Hindi ko inakala na yun na pala ang huling beses na mararamdaman ko ang saya na walang iniisip na mawawala siya sa'min. 

"Hindi na naman pupunta sa graduation niya yung Papa niya!?" I asked to Tito when I enter his study room. Napadaan lang naman ako at narinig ko silang nag-uusap ni Kuya Larry. 

"Yes, and I think Marco doesn't want to tell it to you because he knows you will react that way." Tito said. I roll my eyes before waving my hand at him and walk through the music room kung nasaan siya. 

Next month na yung moving up niya at buong akala ko this time aattend na yung Papa niya pero mukhang mali ako doon. Wala siyang sinasabi sa'kin tungkol doon dahil tuwing nagtatanong ako sa kanya tumatango lang naman siya sa'kin at madalas iniiba ang usapan. 

When I enter the music room I saw him playing the acoustic guitar while humming. His eyes are focused on the cords kaya hindi niya siguro napapansin na nakatayo na ako sa may pinto at nakatingin sa kanya. 

"Marco Jael, kailan ka ba titigil na isipin ang mararamdaman ko?" Tanong ko. That makes him look at me at alam ko naman na hindi niya narinig ang tanong ko kaya umiling na lang ako bago pumasok sa music room at isara yung pinto. 

I sat to the chair in front of him and cross my legs bago tumingin sa kanya. Mukha siyang nagtataka dahil sa inaasta ko at dahil na din sa pagtingin ko sa kanya. 

"Let us attend your moving up, Marco. You got the highest honor. Wala akong pakialam kung magalit ka, but let my family attend." I said straightforward. Naalala ko na naman kasi noong graduation niya noong elementary kung saan nagalit siya sa'kin dahil akala niya kinakaawaan ko siya. 

He laughed before he put down the guitar and look at me. "Kayo naman talaga ang aattend." 

"Talaga!?" My face light up because of what he said. He smile at me bago siya tumango and run his point finger on my chin. 

"You are part of my success, Zemmie. Dapat nandoon ka." 

Just like what he said we attend his graduation and Tito is the one who put on the medal to him. Habang nakatingin ako kay Tito Noel kita ko yung saya sa mukha niya. I think Marco really did made Tito a parent. Alam ko namang anak na din ang tingin sa'kin ni Tito pero nagagawa niya ang gawain ng isang magulang talaga kay Marco.