The Shadow's Grip • bxb [COMPLETED]

-1-

Felix's P.O.V.

My legs hurt. My head hurts. My hands hurt. Everything hurts.

But I can't stop. Not when I'm so close to getting help.

I've been on this bike for at least half an hour and The Shadow is still behind me. I can't see it anymore but I'm sure it's somewhere lurking in the darkness, I can't take any risks.

I'm out of breath and my vision is getting blurry but I'm so close, I can't give up now. The rain is making everything even worse, its hard to see when it's pouring down this hard.

There's a gas station not too far, I'm sure I can make it there. Then I'll ask the employees there for help. Even if it's quite late, I'm sure they're open all night.

I look back again and then see it. It's following me. Because of the dark, its features aren't as visible as in the light of the day, in my own room where I saw it for the first time.

Tall and dark, hovering above me with its eyes shining grey and long hands holding my face. Drops of blood following it around the house, hiding in corners. Loving the darkness, and hating the light. What seems like its mouth rarely opening, only to show its long and sharp teeth that remind me of scissors. Sometimes it doesn't even have a form, looking just like a void, a shadow.

And Hana, my aunt, never seems to see it. No matter how many times I told her about it, she just plays dumb and acts like I'm the crazy one. I don't need a fucking therapist. I need someone to believe in me.

I know I'm not crazy. The way the monster touches me and its breath lingers above my face is too real to be an hallucination. No matter how many pills I take it still comes back at night.

Maybe if my parents were still around they would believe me. I can't remember much about them, just faint memories here and there and what my aunt told me. It's annoying to know that I didn't even get to spend that much time with them since they died when I was only 10.

Maybe if they hadn't left Japan before giving birth to me, things would have been different. What if the monster would never have appeared to me and they would still be alive?

My aunt tried her best to raise me as good as she could, but it's not enough sometimes. I miss my parents and it's only right if I do so. I wish that I could see them not only in the pictures from when I was still a baby. And not only when I'm visiting their tombs at the cemetery.

Sam is the only one I tell these things to. Well, it's not like I have anyone else this close to me. But she's someone I can just tell everything, whether it's a random thought or something that's been on my mind for a long time. I know she won't judge me or tell me I'm crazy.

Even so, I never told her anything about the monster I'm seeing. She asked once, about the hallucinations I have, after I got diagnosed. For the first time in my life, I didn't want to talk to her about something and it was weird when I refused.

I don't think it would make any difference if I told her. More than that, I wouldn't even know where to start. During the past 4 years that I've been seeing it, things changed a lot.

I'm more paranoid and afraid of what's happening around me than ever. If I could, I would turn back time and enjoy those years when I was free, and not followed everywhere, a little more.

By the time I reach the gas station I'm out of breath and I have to stop for a few seconds before getting off my bicycle. There seems to be no one around, only me in the parking lot with rain pouring down and lighting in the distance.

I must look crazy, coming all the way here in this weather. But I don't care. I want to get somewhere safe. Also I already made it here and it would be a waste of time if I would just go back home.

So I'm staying here, in front of the doors of the gas station, thinking about it. I'm afraid to turn around and look back. But I'm also afraid to go in.

It's like I'm stuck between two different worlds. The one behind me is full of darkness and misery while the one in front of me is full of light and hope. My choice should be clear. Then why do I feel so uneasy?

Am I that afraid of a change? Even if I go inside would things change? Maybe I'll end up in the mental health hospital again or they'll give me stronger pills... But what if there's someone who could help me?

My hopes are way too high - I know this, but it's what kept me alive all these years. Hope. That things will get better and that I'm not all alone in this world, stuck with a curse that I can't get rid of.

That's right. I have Sam. I have my aunt. I also have myself. I should trust myself right now more than anyone.

With a deep breath I finally get the power to do what I wanted since I left home. Find safety. Even if it's for a little bit.