The Shadow's Grip • bxb [COMPLETED]

-46-

Felix's P.O.V.

I wake up with Dimitri staring at me and he immediately turns around, his back facing me, embarrassed. I chuckle and hug him tightly and bury my face in his nape. He is still covering his face with his hands, not wanting to face me.

"Are you going to stay like that forever?" I ask while hugging him even tighter.

"Shut up...it's embarrassing. You're going to think I'm some creep" he sighs.

"You're not a creep. You're just in love with me"

He is silent, but finally turns around to face me, blushing like a tomato. I just pull him even closer and he looks up at me.

"I had a nice dream" he whispers.

I'm surprised. After months of endless nightmares, he finally had a dream? A nice one too? I can't help but smile and snuggle him.

"What was it about?"

He thinks about it for a bit and then scoots closer to me. Now I blush, still not being used to being so close to him. It feels unreal that I'm able to hold him like this and kiss him and touch him. He likes me too, and I feel as if I'm on top of the world and nothing can bring me down. Not even The Shadow.

"It was about... a lot of things actually. At first it was about...my grandma, then Harper, then you" he looks up at me and I raise my eyebrows in surprise.

Me? I appeared in his dream? Harper too? Was it The Shadow? I have many questions, but don't want to overwhelm him with them since he seems pretty calm and composed.

"It was so beautiful" he whispers and starts tearing up.

I panic and don't know what I should do. The first thing that comes to my mind is to hug him and gently stroke his back. So that's what I do, and he sobs for a little while. It breaks my heart so see him like this, but I feel as if I finally understand.

Snowy is watching, tilting his head at us. Right, I almost forgot we brought a dog home yesterday too. And we kissed, then washed him, then kissed some more. Then cuddled and kissed again. Shit, I wanna kiss him again.

"Are you okay?" I pull away to look at him and wipe the tears that are falling on his cheeks.

"Yeah...I'm fine" he sighs and rests his head on my chest.

We stay like that for some time and I can't help but blush. His shampoo smells like cinnamon and even though I hate sweet things I can't help but lean into it more. Just being with him like this brings me all the comfort I'll ever need.

"I miss her. My grandma I mean" he speaks again, mumbling.

"From what you've told me you were very close, right?"

"Yeah...and I can't help but miss Harper too" he then widens his eyes and looks at me "not like a lover! I mean... I don't want you to believe that I'm not over him yet"

"It's alright. I get it. It's hard to get over the death of someone you love" I smile, reassuring him.

I don't want him to believe I mind when he talks about Harper. Of course I understand he's still sad about what happened, especially since he loved him so much and he just died out of nowhere. With Christmas being so close, it must feel even more real, even more sad.

"It's just... It's been two years"

"Everybody gets over something like this at their own pace... Some people get over it faster while others take more time. And it's alright"

He looks at me, as if he's taking every word in and carefully listening. Then he looks at his hands that are now hugging my torso tightly. Snowy jumps in bed at our feet and Dimitri stands up to pet him.

"Nooo, come on and lay down with me" I am still hugging him by the waist while he chuckles.

"Are you jealous of a dog?"

"So what?" I slightly glare at Snowy, jokingly.

Dimitri can't help but roll his eyes at my childish attitude and then sigh loudly, almost as if something is still bothering him. I want to ask him all about it, but I don't want to be too pushy or make him feel cornered.

"You know we spent so much time trying to figure out what The Shadow is... Maybe it's not something...I don't think it ever was" he says while Snowy wiggles his tail around happily.

"But then...just why us? Why..." I can't seem to wrap my head around it.

Then why are we the only ones who seem to be haunted by nightmares? Why are we the only ones stalked by if? Horrified by it?

"Have you ever talked about it...with anyone besides me?"

"Well yeah but they just thought it was a hallucination" I furrow my eyebrows.

"I think...just like Basil said, everyone has a shadow. Some people just deal with it differently. To some it might be small and insignificant, but to others... like us...it might be like a monster than we can't escape" he looks at me, with sad eyes.

"So...is it sadness? Grief?" I stand up too, and look directly at him.

"Maybe yeah...I think it's loss...for people who may be still alive or dead, for places, for a certain time in the past"

I'm taken aback by his words. I've never looked at it like that. Whether we like it or not, things are always changing around us and we end up losing people, places we used to love or ourselves even. Do some pay more attention to these losses than others? Do some care more? Do I care more?

"What about Natalie?...I mean I just can't understand. Who is she?"

I still have many questions. I have no hints or leads I can take that would answer them.

"Think about it. She was someone you knew and loved"

Someone I knew and loved? She's not my mother or my father for sure, so then who is she?

I hear my phone ringing and take a look at the screen. Hana is calling me and suddenly I stand up as if I was electrocuted. Maybe I finally found someone who can answer me. I never bothered, but maybe she knew all along.

Maybe she is the one that can help me the most.