The Shadow's Grip • bxb [COMPLETED]

-31-

Felix's P.O.V.

I wake up with a bunch of "Happy Birthday" texts blowing up my phone. Some are from people I don't even know, friends of Hana's. There are also some from my high school classmates that I don't even talk to anymore.

Lazily, I stand up and make my way to the kitchen where Hana patiently waits for me. The first thing she does is shout at me and then hug me.

"Happy birthday my sweet and adorable little teddy bear"

"Thanks" I look at her with a disgusted look while she laughs and then ruffles my hair gently.

"Sorry... I didn't had the time to buy a cake this year... But I'll give you some money"

"Ah don't worry. I'll hang out with Dimitri today" I scratch the back of my head, trying to hide my blushing and embarrassment.

At the gas station, two days ago, I almost made a terrible mistake. Not only terrible, but horrifyingly wrong. Almost kissed Dimitri because I'm like a horny teenager.

But he was close and it was dark, I don't know what took over me. There were only inches between us and an insupportable tension. Plus, as awkward as this sounds, I've never kissed anyone before.

Usually, when people start this kind of thing they know what to do. But not me. I almost kissed Dimitri, without even knowing how to kiss someone in the first place.

It's absolutely stupid and I feel dumb. If I could I would tell Hana so she would know what an idiot I am too. But I haven't told her I'm gay yet so I have to do that first.

In the future... Yeah. I'll have to do it.

"Gotta go... Here" she kisses my cheek and hands me some money before leaving the house.

Now I'm standing here, in the middle of the kitchen, in silence, not knowing what to do next.

I'm 19. But it feels the same as last year. The same birthday. And I'm the same person. Just a year older. Closer to death I guess. Then why do people celebrate?

I hear a knock on the door and immediately rush to answer. When I see Sam standing in front of me I smile immediately and hug her tightly.

"Did I come too early? Has the party started already?" she says making me laugh.

"Yeah! You can see there are so many people here, it's crazy. The craziest party you've ever been to probably" I wave my hands around me.

"Then it's good I brought a gift" she hands me a box and I hug her again.

"You really didn't had to"

I open it and almost break down crying seeing what it's inside. It's a photo of us from high school that we took one time when we skipped class. It was physics and the teacher was extremely homophobic for no reason.

The frame around the photo is handmade, with all sorts of colors and decorations but still being aesthetically pleasing.

"Thank you so much" I hug her tightly.

"I'm gonna die" she shouts.

"Dramatic bitch"

She pushes me away and takes a deep breath while I put the photo of us on the cupboard next to my bed.

Before I can do anything else I hear another knock on the door and suddenly my hands are getting sweaty. Fuck it, I'm getting anxious.

It's probably Dimitri and I'm fucked. After the whole thing at the gas station I feel awkward. Maybe he couldn't tell that I wanted to kiss him. But I know I did.

And the fact that he doesn't know makes it feel even more awkward.

"Who is it?" Sam asks and I nervously laugh.

"Oh it's Dimitri. He brought his two friends with him too. Hope that's not a problem"

"It's not! And after all it's your birthday" she sits down on the couch while I take slow steps towards the door.

I have to think carefully about my next move. What will I do? What will I say? How will he react? Ah, he brought Violet and Luna too. And they'll be there next to him, watching carefully.

Snap out of it. I take a deep breath and open the door, confetti flying right at my face before "Birthday Sex" starts playing at max volume in my ear.

"Happy birthday, Felix" Violet is the first one that hugs me, waving her phone around.

Dimitri is holding something in his hands, and I'm too afraid to even look at him. Afraid and embarrassed. So that's why I try to hug Violet for as long as I can and when she finally pulls away I want to cry.

"Happy birthday. I brought you something" he hands me a box and before I take it I have to process everything that's happening.

The song is still playing in the background and I cover my face with my hands, trying to hide my blush. What the hell is wrong with me? Just take the damn gift.

Maybe a bit too aggressively, I snatch the box from Dimitri, leaving him a bit confused.

He comes in for a hug, but I go for a handshake, making us both look stupid and socially awkward. I nervously laugh and go for a hug this time but he extends his hand for a handshake.

You can't make this shit up.

Sam looks at me with a raised eyebrow, almost calling me an idiot out loud. Violet is just smiling while Luna comes in, saving all of us from the awkward silence.

"I'm Luna. Happy birthday" she hugs me gently, and I smile, relieved.

"I'm Felix... Well, you probably know that"

"I brought drinks" Violet finally stops that song on her phone and takes a few bottles out of a shopping bag.

"I don't know what you'd like so..." Luna takes a hundred dollars from her pocket, handing them to me.

"What? No, no! I can't take it! It's too much"

She smiles and puts a hand on my shoulder, sending shivers down my spine. That seems passive aggressive for some reason.

"Just take the money, Felix"

"Yes m'am"

Before I can say anything more, her and Violet are already talking to Sam, getting to know her.

So I'm left with Dimitri again.

Perfect. I open the box from him and my eyes widen. Adorable. Lemon brownies. I'm not a fan of sweets but I definitely love lemons, and it looks so delicious I'm tempted to eat them right now.

"I made them myself... Make sure to tell me if you like them. I can make more..." he scratches the back of his head.

I put the box full of brownies down and then hug him, without even thinking. Maybe I wanted to do it so much I was just waiting for the perfect chance. And I feel vulnerable like this. So for once, I can actually say what I'm thinking.

"I'm glad you're here"