The Shadow's Grip • bxb [COMPLETED]

-50-

Felix's P.O.V.

So many photos. And all of them are of me and another girl, looking similar to Natalie, to me. I can't help but watch in admiration and slight confusion. Why can't I remember? Why does it feel so strange to look at photos from my own childhood?

"Natalie was your sister. Your twin sister" Hana looks through the photos with a fond gaze and I can't help but crack a smile too.

"She was really pretty"

Hana nods and sighs. I really want to ask what happened. How did she die? Was it in the accident? Why can't I remember anything? It's like all of my memories were wiped out, like chalk wiped off a blackboard by a sponge.

"After your parents died in the accident...I had to take care of you two. You were so similar, always getting into trouble...There was a time where you both had short hair and I could barely tell you two apart!" she laughs slightly, as if recalling some very old memories

"How did she... what happened to her?" I look up at Hana and she sighs.

"You were playing in the garden one day... I was inside cooking...She ran into the street and..." Hana winces slightly.

I look down and fidget with my fingers. So that's what happened. It was all an unfortunate accident. But how would my life be different if she survived? If the accident didn't happen? If she were alive...if our parents were alive...

"I've been blaming myself for it for so long. If only I was more careful" Hana covers her mouth in order to muffle a sob from escaping her lips and I shake my head and widen my eyes.

"No no no! It was only an unfortunate accident! Nobody could have seen it coming...and...you've always tried your best so please...dont say things like that..."

She looked at me and wiped her tears, trying to compose herself again.

I hate seeing her like this. She has always been my role model, the one I looked up to the most. She always seemed so strong, so eager to get over anything life threw at her. And to see her so vulnerable, so broken like this, so insecure... It made me slightly confused but also sad.

"You were always there for me when I needed it. On my first day of high school, can you remember how hard I cried? How scared I was? It was a new period of my life and I was absolutely terrified... But you were there and you reassured me. You've told me that life goes on, that I have to meet new people, to adapt. To see any challenge as an opportunity" I smiled at her and took her hands in my own.

She smiled back at me and caressed my curls gently, her eyes still filled with tears.

"I'm so proud of you, you know that? Whenever I think I did an awful job... I look at you and I tell myself... 'Hana, you did a damn good job raising this kid' " she chuckles slightly and my heart swells at her words.

Of course she did a good job. She's the one that taught me how I should be kind to everyone, how I should be curious instead of judgy. That anything can be solved through communication and that change is always happening in our lives, but it's not necessarily a bad thing.

And I love her so much for that.

"I love you so much. So so so much" I hug her tightly and she hugs me back immediately.

"I love you too, Felix" she ruffles my hair and we stay like that for a little while, in each other's arms.

And to think I was so scared of coming out. I should've known she would love me either way. Just like she loved Natalie. Just like she loved my parents.

And Natalie...How could I have been so scared of my own sister? How could I not even tell she was my sister in the first place?

All these words are ringing in my head, but suprisingly I feel calm, relaxed. I feel content. And for the first time in a while, all of my fears, they don't feel so heavy anymore.